Transcript
Good morning, בקר טוב Boker Tov. Welcome back to Parsha perspectives for today. Continues to be amazing and wonderful and feeling so blessed to be able to be together and to be able to learn תורה Torah in person. Grateful for the opportunity to also share it more broadly and more widely for those who cannot be here in person, but of course if you can, we love to and long to see you. This is a very special edition of the Parsha perspectives for today because today is the first יארצייט yahrzeit of Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks, זכר צדיק לברכה zecher tzadik livracha. הרב יעקב צבי בן דוד אריה HaRav Yaakov Tzvi ben David Aryeh. And the Rabbi Sacks Legacy Foundation has asked us and included us in programs and events around the world that are commemorating this first יארצייט yahrzeit by sharing Rabbi Sacks's תורה Torah. What greater legacy is there for a person than promoting and sharing their תורה Torah? His lips continue to quiver from the grave. He continues to teach, he continues to uplift, he continues to inspire. So today's entire שיעור shiur is dedicated, a Parsha perspective through the lens of Rabbi Sacks. And what we'll do is both talk about Rabbi Sacks and let Rabbi Sacks talk to us through sharing his תורה Torah on our parsha. But I want to begin by thanking our generous sponsors, the series for the year, Becky and Avi Katz and family, in loving memory of Becky's father, דוד בן מנחם מניש David ben Menachem Manish, his נשמה neshama should have an עליה aliyah. This morning’s שיעור shiur is also sponsored by Rabbi Willy, Esti, Yaakov and Yair Bolk in memory of their mother and grandmother, Sheela Ratman Bolk, שיינדל פייגא בת עקיבא Sheindel Faiga bas Akiva. Her נשמה neshama should have an עליה aliyah, and Rabbi Willy should find a lot of comfort. Also dedicated by friends of the Torah Sweets newsletter, very new newsletter that just came out, I saw it, looks wonderful, sign up for it, be inspired by it. Thought-provoking articles by great Torah thinkers of today. You could subscribe at TorahSweets.com, T-O-R-A-H-S-W-E-E-T-S, TorahSweets.com. TorahSweets.com, go online and sign up. A beautiful new newsletter. And lastly, by Bailey Gila Grinberg in loving memory, the יארצייט yahrzeit of her father, יונה בן יצחק Yona ben Yitzchak, Jerome Grinberg on his fifth יארצייט yahrzeit, the 23rd of חשוון Cheshvan. His נשמה neshama should have an עליה aliyah. Thank you to our generous sponsors.So we're now a year since we lost Rabbi Sacks, and it continues to be truly a devastating loss, a loss of who he was as an individual, as a person, a loss of what he represented in this world, the light with which he illuminated the world, not just the Jewish world, but the entire world around us. And the lost not only what was, but when I think about the devastating loss of Rabbi Sacks, I don't only think about who he was as an individual that he's no longer here. I don't only think about the valuable contribution he made, the legacy he leaves with his magnificent תורה Torah, his books, his articles, his teachings. But to me, I feel utterly bereft, entirely denied decades more of what he was going to be, of what he had yet to teach, what he had yet to share, the difference he had yet to make in this world. He was a spokesperson for תורה Torah Jewry, maybe a singular, exclusive fashion, there was no one like him. His erudition and his scholarship, his capacity to communicate and to transmit authentic, true תורה Torah values to a general, broad Jewish and non-Jewish audience, to be uncompromising in what we believe and where we're from and yet at the same time, find a vocabulary and a vernacular that makes it something so richly uplifting to everyone in contemporary times. We needed him desperately. Who else would debate the atheists and agnostics of our time the way Rabbi Sacks did? You could go online on YouTube and go watch videos where Rabbi Sacks takes on what are considered the greatest minds of atheists and agnostics of skeptics and cynics. And only a Rabbi Sacks who could quote the width and breadth of תורה Torah and simultaneously of general knowledge and scholarship, we are bereft, we are orphaned of that leadership that he provided. And on this first יארצייט yahrzeit, we feel it. We feel it as we have such beautiful and deep תורה Torah to dip into, but for the next years and decades, he was such a young man, what we are being denied and what we are being deprived, what we had yet to learn and what he had yet to stand up for and how he had yet to represent us and how absolutely painful, painful that is.You know the Parsha, וַיָּבֹא אַבְרָהָם לִסְפֹּד לְשָׂרָה וְלִבְכֹּתָהּ vayavo Avraham lispod l'Sarah v'livkosah, the Torah tells us that when Sarah dies, וַיְהִי חַיֵּי שָׂרָה Vayehi Chayei Sarah, we begin on page 106 in the ArtScroll Stone חומש Chumash. I always encourage you to have a חומש Chumash in front of you to follow inside. These are the life of Sarah, 100 years and 20 years and seven years. We spoke about it last year. We speak about it every year. The Parsha is the same every year. Torah does not efficiently deliver the years of her life as 127. It breaks it down. Her whole life was equal and we spoke a lot about that last year. She dies very suddenly. She dies very abruptly and Avram finds out, he returns from the עקדה Akeidah, he learns of her demise, וַיָּבֹא אַבְרָהָם לִסְפֹּד לְשָׂרָה וְלִבְכֹּתָהּ vayavo Avraham lispod l'Sarah v'livkosah. Avram comes and what does he do? לִסְפֹּד לְשָׂרָה lispod l'Sarah, he delivers a eulogy, וְלִבְכֹּתָהּ v'livkosah, and only then does he cry. And of course all the commentators note it's out of order. A person is devastated. I got a horrific call from one of our members yesterday whose brother who was healthy and well suddenly dropped dead out of nowhere, a horrific terrible tragedy. But when I answered the phone he couldn't speak. I heard wailing, I heard crying, I heard moaning. He couldn't speak until he was able to compose himself to tell me he had just received a call about his beloved brother. Normally a person is devastated by news, וְלִבְכֹּתָהּ v'livkosah, we cry. We cry, and then we compose ourselves in order to compose a eulogy. We put ourselves together in order to author a tribute. So why is Avram here, וַיָּבֹא אַבְרָהָם לִסְפֹּד לְשָׂרָה וְלִבְכֹּתָהּ vayavo Avraham lispod l'Sarah v'livkosah? It almost seems callous. It almost seems as if Avram is not moved. Why isn't he crying? Why isn't he broken? This is his other half. Arguably this is his better half. Avram goes on to live for almost four more decades and Rav Soloveitchik points out, we don't hear any more contributions from Avram. When he loses Sarah he's done. Not only does a piece of him missing, he is missing. He is incomplete to the point that he's no longer making contributions as a leader. Avram's contributions end with Sarah's loss in this world. And yet, almost callously, he's able to sit down without shedding a tear, he writes a eulogy and only afterwards does he find the time to cry. What's going on? So Rav Soloveitchik points out that there were two components to Sarah's loss. There was the individual Sarah that Avram had lost, a wife, a mother of his child, a life partner, but there was also Sarah אִמֵנוּ Imeinu, Sarah the matriarch. There was the role that she filled not only in her time but in perpetuity. Avram understood that his primary mission was to first communicate and capture that loss of who she was as a matriarch, the Sarah who is אִמֵנוּ Imeinu. And so he composed himself in order to author a eulogy that would capture her significance, her relevance, her legacy to the world. She with him went out and transformed and revolutionized the world. וְהַנֶּפֶשׁ אֲשֶׁר עָשׂוּ בְחָרָן v'hanefesh asher asu b'Charan. It doesn't say the souls that Avram changed, it's the souls that they changed together, collaboratively, in partnership. She was with him, she was a greater prophetess than he was a prophet. He was lost without her. He understood her role in this world. And first and foremost, before he cried, before he grieved, before he moaned for what that loss meant for him as an individual, he paused to recognize and acknowledge her role more broadly. He composed a eulogy, and only then did he cry, says Rav Soloveitchik. And I would argue the same is true for us even a year later with Rabbi Sacks. Rabbi Lord Sacks of course as the individual was a person who was sensitive and warm and kind. He was a very special person. I don't pretend to have known him very well, but I feel extraordinarily honored and privileged to have known him at all. He was in our community for Shabbos. He spoke here several times, and we had a very warm relationship, which was a tremendous זכות zechus, a great privilege for me, including shortly before he died during Corona, we did a panel together under the OU online, but much more significantly for me personally, we went through a difficult time as a public personality, being publicly attacked by someone at one point, my phone rang out of nowhere and it was Rabbi Sacks's soothing voice of solace giving me חזק chizuk, lifting me up and it meant the world to me that he had made the time to make that phone call as an individual, as a private person. But aside from his role as a husband, as a father, each remarkably, his role what he meant collectively for all of us and for the non-Jewish world, for the BBC and for for the UK and for royalty who wrote about him, prime ministers of the United Kingdom of Great Britain who wrote the most generous and the most beautiful tributes to him. לִסְפֹּד לְשָׂרָה וְלִבְכֹּתָהּ lispod l'Sarah v'livkosah, we recognize and we feel absolutely bereft of that role that he had much more broadly.I saw a second interpretation of what does it mean לִסְפֹּד לְשָׂרָה וְלִבְכֹּתָהּ lispod l'Sarah v'livkosah. It wasn't Avram being callous by first writing a eulogy and only crying. It's that human nature common sense is the opposite order. First we cry, we grieve, we mourn and then we're able to compose ourselves to write a eulogy. What happened? There's an exception. That's in the normal course of events when we lose someone that we anticipated losing. But when we lose someone so abruptly, so suddenly, feeling out of nowhere, then we almost can't generate the tears yet because we refuse to believe it. So all we can do is intellectually or academically try to make sense of it and try to write a tribute and then when we realize the impact, when we feel the punch in our gut, that's when the tears will flow later. For most of us, even though we knew, we were warned, and we were cautioned, and we were asked if we could דאווען daven for Rabbi Sacks. We were told he was sick. This was the second bout of cancer in his life. We were דאווען davening for him, but nobody knew other than his closest, closest circle including his family, nobody knew just how dire the circumstances were. And for us, for כלל ישראל Klal Yisrael, for the world that felt like the news of his death came out of absolute nowhere. For us, all we could do was לִסְפֹּד lispod and then לִבְכּוֹת livkos. All we could do was first try to give a tribute and then later cry.But it occurred to me and I've been wondering and curious for the entire last year, and I've asked some people who are very close with him. Why do we think he did it that way? Why didn't Rabbi Sacks offer a commentary to the world as his health was failing? Why weren't we warned just how dire the circumstances were so that we could storm the gates of שמים Shamayim? Why did he keep it so private and so quiet? We learned so much from him in his lifetime. I'm so eager to learn in how he chose to how he chose to die as well. And of course, we don't have that opportunity to ask him directly. So essentially all we can do is guess and conjecture. But I think even this is a tribute to who Rabbi Sacks was. Rabbi Sacks was a person of modesty and humility, who didn't crave attention and only entered a public stage because he thought he had what to share as an agent and ambassador of השם Hashem. So he didn't want the attention that it would bring, number one, but I think even more poignantly, number two, with all of his public acclaim, Rabbi Sacks essentially defined himself as a husband and as a father and a grandfather. He was unbelievably devoted to his family. And he knew that the attention it would draw would make it even more complicated and difficult and painful for his family, and I can only guess that he put his family ahead of himself, that whatever solace or comfort it would have brought him to know that the world was davening for him, that the way he did it privately perhaps was more protective because he lived his life protecting, protecting his family.When Avram comes in order to negotiate for this piece of land, the Torah tells us that Avram engages בני חת Bnei Cheis, the people of חת Cheis, עפרון החתי Efron HaChiti. According to רבינו יונה Rabbeinu Yonah, this was the 10th and final test, to have to deal with this used car salesman, to deal with this lowlife אויסוואַרף oisvorf Ephron, who presented himself one way as magnanimous and generous, but really was we know ruthless and duplicitous. And Avram doesn't lose his cool. He's a broken man devastated by the loss of his wife. He should have absolutely no patience for such an individual, but Avram never loses his cool. He's even killed. Avram is somebody whose מידות middos always come first and that's true here even in this 10th test that he passes just like the rest of them, says רבינו יונה Rabbeinu Yonah in the way he engages, the way he encounters Ephron HaChiti. But when he presents himself and argues for why he deserves and wants this plot of land, and we'll get into a moment a brilliant insight of Rabbi Sacks of the significance of Avram buying this land, not just to have a burial place for his wife, but in a much more meta broader sense. But when Avram introduces himself he says the famous words that I believe are iconic words, גֵּר וְתוֹשָׁב אָנֹכִי עִמָּכֶם תְּנוּ לִי אֲחֻזַּת קֶבֶר עִמָּכֶם ger v'toshav anochi imachem, tnu li achuzas kever imachem. Who am I? Why should you sell to me? You own this land, I'm an outsider. Who am I to come and to ask, to demand, to negotiate for that land? And he uses two terms to describe himself, two in some ways conflicting or opposite terms. He says I am simultaneously גֵּר וְתוֹשָׁב ger v'toshav. I am at the same time a stranger and I live among you. And I've shared this insight of Rav Soloveitchik with you a thousand times and I'll share it a thousand more because I think it defines who we are meant to be in this world. And I don't care which part of the spectrum of Torah Jewry you find yourself, I don't care how much you retreat and insulate versus how much you engage, every one of us needs to define ourselves. That's the legacy of אברהם אבינו Avram Avinu. We are the children, the offspring, the spiritual progeny, and these two words define the way we engage and we encounter the world. And listen to what Rav Soloveitchik says on them because he might as well be writing a eulogy. Obviously Rav Soloveitchik long predeceased Rabbi Sacks, but he might as well be describing the great Rabbi Lord Sacks. Says the Rav, what is our position vis-a-vis modern civilization with respect to science, to Western culture, to the countries in which we live? The answer is enshrined in these words. Certainly I am a resident, I'm one of you, I engage in business as you do, I speak your language, I take full part in your social and economic institutions. But at the same time, I am a stranger. And in some aspects a foreigner. I belong to a particular world, one that is completely foreign to you. It is a world in which I am at one with the creator. It is a world populated by characters unknown to you with a tradition you do not understand, with spiritual values that seem impractical in your eyes, pragmatic children of חת Cheis. It is a world full of altars and sacrifices, a world of תורה Torah, of loving kindness, of sanctity and purity. You live differently, pray differently, your conception of charity is different from ours, your days of rest are different, and so on. In these matters, I'm a stranger in your world and you are a stranger in mine. Jewish burial is one of the elements with respect to which we are strangers and foreigners to one another. A Jew dies and is buried differently. A Jew requires a cemetery of his own, a Jewish grave. Rav Soloveitchik long, long ago and long before Rabbi Sacks really hit the Jewish scene, was describing Rabbi Sacks, גֵּר וְתוֹשָׁב אָנֹכִי עִמָּכֶם ger v'toshav anochi imachem. On the one hand I'm a תושב toshav. I am well steeped, well knowledged, well versed in your sciences, in your literature, in your language, in your culture. I'm one of you, I live among you. I participate, I contribute, I take away, I draw from. I'm a full member of your society. I am a תושב toshav. Rabbi Sacks was a תושב toshav not only of Great Britain, of the UK, of the whole Western world, a spokesperson of the Western world. He spoke that language, was steeped in its culture, understood the best of it, was educated and was an educator. And we know how many degrees and honorary degrees and how many books and how he was knighted in the House of Commons, we know all of his accomplishments. But at the same time, Rabbi Sacks had absolutely no problem living Rav Soloveitchik's insight. He was a תושב toshav, a full resident, but he was a גֵּר ger. He also understood that he was a member of a society of culture, of high culture, not pop culture. He understood it was Jewish values, not the secular values. He sought to elevate the conversation, not to lower himself to be part of it. He was uncompromising in being a גֵּר ger, in saying when our values are in conflict, when they're not in consonance, when they don't work together. He was the living embodiment of this insight of Rav Soloveitchik, of Avram's iconic and immortal words that he said to בני חת Bnei Cheis and that we say to the society around us. And my own editorial comment I will say here is that there are generations in which the Jewish people failed to emphasize enough one of these elements. They said you know what I'm not a תושב toshav. Perhaps we live too much in retreat, we live too much in insulation. We have to contribute, participate, draw from, be part of society. But then there are generations in which we are too assimilated, too integrated. We forget that we are גֵּירִים geirim. We forget we're foreigners and we're strangers. We forget that as much as we have in common, we are categorically different into not confuse who we are, where we come from and what our destiny is necessarily with those around us. It is that balance, that critically important balance, that equilibrium which too often through our history and at different periods and different times and different places was out of whack and out of balance. It is having spokespeople like Rabbi Sacks who even if we were not knowledgeable. You know, sometimes, again I'm just reflecting personally here, sometimes you just felt comforted to know that Rabbi Sacks exists. Someone much smarter than me who knows much more, who speaks that language, who could answer those skeptics, who could try to triumph in a debate. I don't have to watch it or listen to it, I don't have to be the one doing it. I just sleep well at night knowing that he exists. I feel blessed to be in a generation that had him. I'm comforted and I'm strengthened and I have a confidence to know that he's there. And that's what his loss means, that he isn't anymore. And we can't turn to him. We could turn to what he left us, a full body that he left us, but we can no longer turn to him and therefore that loss is tremendously, tremendously painful.Before we really dive into the parsha, I just want to leave you with one more thought in tribute to him, and then we'll continue to study mostly from him, his insights on this first יארצייט yahrzeit. That's how we elevate his נשמה neshama the greatest, when we continue to quote somebody's תורה Torah, that's how we really lift their spirits. I spoke with a young man from our community a few years ago before Rabbi Sacks was even sick or we knew it, who identifies as a Jew, was a staunch Zionist, even served in the Israeli army, but had left an observant life. And I engaged this individual, whom I have a long-standing relationship, he grew up in our community since he was a small child, and I tried to pull every trick out of my toolbox, every tool to try to engage, to encounter, to provoke, to stimulate, to challenge, to get him to reconsider a Torah-observant life, and I was in absolute and utter failure. But in it, before I was willing to concede defeat, I asked him. I said, is there anything that would change your mind? What do you think would do it? We were having an intellectual debate about parts of Judaism that he was deeply troubled by. He wasn't simply abandoning out of תאווה taavah, it wasn't simply out of desire or lust. He had intellectual challenges with Yiddishkeit. And he said to me quote, the only person in the universe who I think could inspire me to keep Shabbos again is Rabbi Sacks. If I met him and could talk to him, I can't imagine that I wouldn't feel obligated to return to an observant life. I actually tried to put the two of them together unsuccessfully. But that tells you so much right there. It tells you an enormous amount. It tells you an enormous amount. In 2019, Rabbi Sacks gave what was the last סליחות דרשה Slichos drasha in London, in the Hampstead synagogue, September 21st, 2019. And as everything it was brilliant, and it was insightful, and it was elevating. For me it was also deeply meaningful because in it, I didn't know this, somebody sent me and alerted me to it, in it he referenced the conversation that he and I had, not by name. He writes or he said, this was transcribed and it was published in the last Hamizrachi, this past Rosh Hashanah Yom Kippur, Mizrachi puts out a beautiful little magazine called Hamizrachi, and in it they had an unforgiving age from Rabbi Sacks which was his pre-Slichos address in 2019. And in it he says, this is what סליחות Slichos are all about, about being honest, about saying Master of the universe, I know I let you down, I know I let others down, I know I let myself down. שמע קולי shma koli, hear my cry. Help me become the person you created me to be. And then he continues. He says, a few years ago I was about to lecture 1,000 people in a big שול shul in America. Now getting 1,000 Jews to sit down is as hard as splitting the Red Sea. So the rabbi of the שול shul said to me Rabbi, we've got 10 minutes before we begin. Every week I do the local Jewish radio program. Would you do a quick interview with me? I said fine. We went into his study just the two of us and this is what he asked me. I was that rabbi, maybe some of you were here, we had a thousand people. We had an amazing, amazing event with Rabbi Sacks. It wasn't for a weekly radio program. It was before Behind the Bima was even a dream, it was before Corona, but I had always thought we have these great people who come to the community, if I recorded a conversation that would one day be of interest. And I recorded this conversation in in 2018, January 18th, 2018, and then it just sat in a file, I never did anything with it until after Rabbi Sacks passed away and then I published it online, the conversation, this interview with him. So Rabbi Sacks recalls that conversation, and he says, Rabbi Sacks, he's quoting me now asking him, I look at your CV, I look at your career, tell me Rabbi Sacks, did you ever fail at anything? I almost fell out of my chair laughing. I said I have failed at almost everything. My favorite sentence in the English language is Winston Churchill's definition of success, going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm. I tried to explain to the rabbi that the real difference is not between failure and success, the real difference is between failing and giving up and failing and keeping on going. That's the real difference in life and it's what keeps me going. I explained to him is the simple knowledge that God lifts us up when we fall and forgives us when we fail. And then he ended that סליחות דרשה Slichos drasha, I have one request. Forget the public persona of perfection that people post on social media. Know that in the inner reaches of our soul we can be honest with ourselves. We can acknowledge the way in which we failed because we know that God forgives. And in the forgiveness God gives us strength to heal, that we have what we have harmed, to mend that we have broken, they become the people he wants us to be. Now that interview also was transcribed January 18th, 2018, and the last comment I'll say in our introduction is to quote from that transcript because I began and I asked Rabbi Sacks the following. You can listen to online this whole interview, but I'll just read to you a little bit. You're a beacon of faith, you promote faith, you teach faith, you inspire faith not only among the Jewish community, Jewish people around the world. Do you ever struggle with faith I asked him. Do you ever feel that you confront doubt and in those moments of uncertainty what do you do to overcome it? What do you do to overcome it? Now I didn't I didn't build into the question, but I knew that Rabbi Sacks, and I knew then, I didn't know he had a second bout of cancer, as we sat in my study in my home, January 18th, 2018. It was a a little reception before we came here, a thousand people for a big event. I remember vividly that it was a Federation hosted at our home and there was a beautiful reception and someone was walking around offering martinis and Rabbi Sacks mentioned he had never tried one. He thought he might as well have one and he drank it. We did the interview and then he had trouble holding on to the lectern when he was delivering. I still feel guilty that he said his mind was racing due to that לחיים l'chaim that we shared before this interview. So I didn't know it was a second bout of cancer, but I knew he had faced cancer and I knew that he had challenges in his life. And so I asked him did he ever have doubt in faith and listen to what he said. Note this is January and it's not a coincidence what Parsha did he reference? חיי שרה Chayei Sarah, the Parsha in which his נשמה neshama left this world and today his first יארצייט yahrzeit that we offer this tribute to him. He said let me be very blunt with you. I've had many crises in faith, but I've never had a crisis of faith in הקדוש ברוך הוא HaKadosh Baruch Hu. I've had many crises of faith in man. One crisis began as soon as I began to understand the Holocaust, to understand it took place in the heart of civilized Europe, not some third world country in some medieval century. The biggest question of faith I had was knowing all this was going to happen, how come הקדוש ברוך הוא HaKadosh Baruch Hu had faith in us? I never lacked faith in him because I never expected the impossible from him. I know perfectly well that he placed each of us here for a purpose and we are supposed to discern that and to walk ahead. For me the critical moment that defined my faith was achieved when I learned פרשת חיי שרה Parshas Chayei Sarah. January, he's talking about Parshas Chayei Sarah. It begins with the death of Sarah. There is Avram having lost his life companion, the age of 137. At that point he has received from השם Hashem three promises. Number one, I will give you land. Number two, I will give you children. I will make you a great nation as many as the stars in the skies and the sand on the sea. And finally I'll make you not one nation, many nations, but he only has one son. Where was the father of many nations? Where was the infinite number of descendants? What did Avram do at that moment when he should have had a crisis of faith? He understood that God said הִתְהַלֵּךְ לְפָנַי וֶהְיֵה תָמִים his'halech lefanai v'heyei tamim. So he bought the first plot of land. He then made sure his son got married so he would have Jewish grandchildren. And later in a strange episode he takes an additional wife named קטורה Keturah, has six more children who become the father of many nations. In other words, concluded Rabbi Sacks, this first question, instead of expecting God to do for him, Avram realized God was expecting him to do the hard work for him. Once I understood that, I never had a crisis of faith. What a legacy. What a beautiful insight. And that's the first point I want to elaborate on is that insight of Rabbi Sacks. And I draw from his magnificent Covenant and Conversation, published today as books, but many articles that you could find online. You can learn with Rabbi Sacks each and every week. Many of you do. I look out, I'm trying to דאווען daven or give a דרשה drasha, and you're looking down, I don't blame you. Much more worthwhile, you're reading for many years the printouts from Rabbi Sacks rather than listening to the rabbis around the world. We don't blame you. But you continue to read and print out online. And Rabbi Sacks on our parsha says the following. He says the central theme of our parsha are two episodes, both narrated at length and both offered in intricate detail. And we know the real estate of the Torah is precious, more valuable even than Montoya Circle as hard as that is to believe right now. And yet, and yet, particularly the second episode of Eliezer going to look for a wife for Yitzchak is offered, it is repeated at length. It is verbose, it is redundant, it is lengthy. Why? The Torah's real estate is precious. So summarize, succinctly give me the summary of the story. And instead the Torah, these two episodes, a plot of land, a negotiation, is this trying to capture the original Jewish business attitude, ethics, skill set? Why? Avram buys this field, a cave, burial place, and he instructs his servant to find a wife for יצחק Yitzchak. Why these two events? So the easy answer is because they happened. Torah recounts and recalls history. They happened, Torah is a document that is transmitting our history, so it tells us they happened because it's part of our history. But Rabbi Sacks rejects that. He says that is not possible. We misunderstand the Torah if we think it's a book that simply tells us what happened. A lot more happened, it never tells us. We are first introduced to Avram, we begin his life at what age? 75. So if it was a history book it should tell us, first his mother got pregnant, what kind of pregnancy did she have, was he active in the womb, was he calm, tell us about the labor. It skips, it omits significant parts of the story with the Medrash of course fills in in between the lines. But the Torah is not a history book. And the Torah is not simply recalling or recounting what happened. Torah, by identifying itself as Torah, defines its own genre, says Rav Sacks. It is not a history book. תורה, הוראה, אור Torah, horaah, or means light. It is a book of teaching. Everything in the Torah is there because it is meant to teach, it is meant to transmit, not something that happened or history, but something much more lofty. So if it's sharing something that happened, it's because there's something deeper in it. So what is it that is deeper in these two episodes? An entire parsha, חיי שרה Chayei Sarah, and if you have to summarize חיי שרה Chayei Sarah, two episodes. Avram negotiated a piece of real estate, שכוח shkoyach. Avram sent out a שדכן shadchan for his son, יצחק Yitzchak. אליעזר Eliezer was in charge. שכוח Shkoyach. I would have said that's got to be the shortest parsha in the Torah. Negotiating a piece of real estate, okay, how long could that be and why would you tell me? שידוכים Shidduchim, okay, that could take up a lot more time and a lot more room. But fine, Eliezer went, they made a שידוך shidduch, they closed the שידוך shidduch, they paid the שדכנות shadchanus, they called it a day. How could it be that it's so long? So says Rabbi Sacks the following. Listen carefully because this is brilliant, it's beautiful, and it's important. Avram, the first bearer of the covenant was given two promises by השם Hashem and both were stated five times. What were those two promises that השם Hashem kept repeating to Avram? Five times. By the way, if you're God, you're probably good at your word, one time should be good enough. So if God repeats the promise five times, why is he repeating it? Not for Avram. If God makes you a promise, you should be good to go. It's God Almighty. He delivers on his word. אומר ועושה omer ve'oseh, ברוך גוזר ומקיים Baruch gozer u'mekayem. Last night we hit the 300th siddur snippet. A little shameless plug for siddur snippets. You can go back to number one with מודה אני Modeh Ani and catch up where at 300, we're in the middle of שמע Shma, but somewhere early on in there is ברוך שאמר Baruch She'amar. ברוך אומר ועושה, ברוך גוזר ומקיים Baruch omer ve'oseh, Baruch gozer u'mekayem. Hashem says and he does. He's גוזר gozer, and he's מקיים mekayem. He fulfills what he said he was going to do. You can listen on podcasts, on the website. You can get a WhatsApp with the siddur snippet every day. So, Hashem only needs to say it once. Why did he say it five times? ברוך אתה אדוני Baruch ata Adonai, אלוהינו מלך העולם Eloheinu Melech ha'olam, שהכל נהיה בדברו shehakol nihiyeh bidvaro. Amen.Why five times? Because clearly he means to emphasize, not the promise, he's good at his word, but he needs to emphasize the significance of that which he is promising. What are the two things that he promised Avraham five times?Again, let's prove to the people watching or listening that you were live here. ברוך השם Baruch Hashem, we're filling out more and more. נו Nu?Children. You're gonna have children, you're gonna have אייניקלאך eniklach, you're gonna have, you're gonna have continuity in this world. And what was the other promise? ארץ ישראל Eretz Yisrael, the land. Good. You guys have read the חומש Chumash occasionally. I'm happy to hear that. First is the land. Time and again, he's told by God that the land that you've traveled, כנען Kenaan, is yours. We could look at some of these פסוקים pesukim. פרק י\"ב, פסוק ז' Perek yud beis, pasuk zayin, is the first time. Beginning of לך לך Lech Lecha. וירא ה' אל אברם ויאמר לזרעך אתן את הארץ הזאת Vayera Hashem el Avram vayomer l'zaracha eten es ha'aretz hazos. לזרעך אתן L'zaracha eten, your offspring, I'm going to give this land. פרק י\"ג, פסוק י\"ד Perek yud gimmel, pasuk yud daled. י\"ג, י\"ד Yud gimmel, yud daled. וה' אמר אל אברם V'Hashem amar el Avram, split, go away. וראה מן המקום אשר אתה שם צפנה ונגבה וקדמה וימה U're'eh min hamakom asher ata sham tzafonah v'negbah v'kedmah vayamah, כי את כל הארץ אשר אתה רואה ki es kol ha'aretz asher ata ro'eh. These words Torah made famous. They got them from the great singer Dedi. Look at this land, לך אתננה lecha etnena. את כל הארץ אשר אתה רואה Es kol ha'aretz asher ata ro'eh, this whole land that you see, לך אתננה lecha etnena, I'm going to give it to you, ולזרעך עד עולם u'l'zaracha ad olam. פרק ט\"ו פסוק ז', פרק ט\"ו פסוק י\"ח, פרק י\"ז פסוק ז' Perek tes vov pasuk zayin, perek tes vov pasuk yud ches, perek yud zayin pasuk zayin. It goes on and on. Hashem promises Avraham no less than five times this land is your land. Second promise is קינדערלאך kinderlach, אייניקלאך eniklach, children, grandchildren, continuity. Go to פרק י\"ב פסוק ב' perek yud beis, pasuk beis. פרק י\"ב פסוק ב' Perek yud beis, pasuk beis. ואעשך לגוי גדול ואברכך ואגדלה שמך והיה ברכה Ve'escha l'goy gadol va'avarechecha va'agadelah shmecha veheyeh bracha. I'm going to make you a great nation. You're going to have many children. פרק י\"ג פסוק ט\"ז Perek yud gimmel, pasuk tes zayin. ושמתי את זרעך כעפר הארץ V'samti es zaracha k'afar ha'aretz. Your offspring will number as great as the sands on the sea. אשר יוכל איש למנות את עפר הארץ, גם זרעך ימנה Asher yuchal ish limnos es afar ha'aretz, gam zaracha yimaneh. And again, the examples go on and on. פרק ט\"ו פסוק ה', פרק י\"ז פסוק ד', פרק כ\"ב פסוק י\"ז Perek tes vov pasuk hei, perek yud zayin pasuk daled, perek chaf beis pasuk yud zayin. Rabbi Sacks counts them, did the hard work for us. Five times Hashem says, real estate, this land is yours. Five times he says you're not going to leave this world without someone to say קדיש Kaddish for you. You're going to have a child after you. Remarkable promises. The land in its length and breadth will be his and you will have many children. Good.Now Sarah dies. Beginning of פרשת חיי שרה Parshas Chayei Sarah. וימת שרה, והיו חיי שרה Vayamas Sarah, vayihiyu chayei Sarah. Sarah dies. Does Avraham have land? No. He's not a real estate holder. He does not own any land. Children? He's got one. He's got ישמעאל Yishmael, but he's already been told explicitly that ישמעאל Yishmael is not going to be the one who will carry the legacy forward. So how many children does he have within this context of his legacy, his continuity? How many children does he have? He has one. He has one.I was in an elevator yesterday with יוכבד Yocheved. When there was another couple and they were talking to each other, and they were talking about somebody they know who has three children by the age of 36. Isn't that insane? So many children at such a young age, so crazy. And we looked at each other like, should we? Yeah, no, should we tell them? He said, nah. And we just walked out of the elevator. But ברוך השם, כאין עין הרע, בלי עין הרע Baruch Hashem, k'ein ayin hara, bli ayin hara, a billion times over, people have been blessed to have large families. Nothing that anyone should ever take for granted. Count those blessings each and every single day. Large families. And if you do the multiplier effect, if you have a lot of children and please God they'll have a lot of children, they'll have a lot of children, you can within your lifetime be a great grandparent or a great great grandparent to hundreds, to thousands. The numbers are astonishing.So Avraham who's given this promise, you're going to be many, you're going to be great, you're going to be an enormous number. And Hashem as if toys with Avraham. Come, come, come outside. Come, give a קוק kuk, give a look. See the stars? Wow. You're going to have so many stars. Your children, you're not even going to be able to count. Come, come to the beach. Avraham, come with me for a moment. You see the sand? Pick up a little bit in your hand, the grains, just in your hand, forget the whole length of the beach. Just in your hand. You see the sand? Can you count them? No. That's going to be your children. Now Sarah dies, and Avraham said, what happened to the stars? What happened to the sand? What happened to ארץ ישראל Eretz Yisrael? What happened to my real estate? What happened to the land? He's no Rothschild, it's not JNF, he's not, what happened? He doesn't own land and he has one child, who by the way, he came this close to slaughtering. Who by the way, also is 37 years old and נבך nebach, no שידוך shidduch. So Avraham says to himself, he owns no land and he only has one son. Says Rabbi Sacks, now you understand all of פרשת חיי שרה Parshas Chayei Sarah. The significance of the two episodes in פרשת חיי שרה Parshas Chayei Sarah are 100% now clear. Why? Because it's all about what Avraham does next. It's all about what Avraham does next. Listen to me very carefully because this is the story of the Jewish people. It's the story of Rabbi Sacks, both his תורה Torah, and it's also the charge that he leaves us with, telling us what we need to do next.First, what does Avraham do? So if I'm Avraham, I throw in the towel. I'm depressed, I'm resentful, I'm bitter, I'm negative, I'm angry. Hashem, what happened to all these promises? I'm an old man, I just lost my wife, my better half. I own no land, and I have only one son and he's not married. What does Avraham do instead? ויקם מעל פני מתו Vayakom me'al pnei meiso. Rabbi Sacks doesn't point this out, but others do, the word ויקם vayakom. What does it mean to get up? I think that this has entered our vernacular. What do you call it when you're done with שבעה shiva? רחמנא ליצלן Rachmana litzlan, someone loses a loved one and they sit שבעה shiva. What do they say? What do we say about them? Oh, I didn't get to pay a שבעה shiva call. Do you know when they get up? Why would you ask when they get up? It's true they sit on a low stool, so you're getting up. They get up a lot during שבעה shiva. They get up to eat, they get up to go to the bathroom, they get up to go to sleep, they get up to דאווען daven. They're getting up out of that low chair, but we only call it getting up at the end of שבעה shiva. Why do we call it getting up from שבעה shiva? We learn from Avraham. ויקם מעל פני מתו Vayakom me'al pnei meiso. Because when the Jew is down, the Jew doesn't stay out. The Jew, ויקם vayakom, we get up. We get up, we persevere, we tenaciously continue. In fact, how do we come out of שבעה shiva? I tell this to every person I walk out of שבעה shiva, we go for a walk. Where does it say that in שולחן ערוך Shulchan Aruch? Nowhere. Where does it say in the גמרא Gemara? Nowhere. It is entirely and utterly a מנהג minhag. They have different מנהגים minhagim. Some turn the chair upside down when you're done with שבעה shiva. I think חב\"ד Chabad breaks something on the floor. Any חב\"ד Chabad here? חב\"ד Chabad has a מנהג minhag I think to break something on the floor. There's all kinds of interesting מנהגים minhagim, but one of the universal ones is to go for a walk. Why do you go for a walk? Because we see the grass is growing and the garbage is being picked up and life has to continue, and the significance of the symbolism of walking. We put one foot in front of the other. Physically, we have to put one foot in front of the other, and spiritually and metaphysically, ויקם vayakom, we have to put one foot in front of the other. We get up. That's how we do it. And that is Avraham's legacy. He doesn't stay down and out when he loses Sarah, and he loses Sarah in tragic circumstances. We discussed last year, I'm not going to repeat this year. Sarah died, what was her cause of death on her birth, on her death certificate? It wasn't cancer, and it wasn't high blood pressure, and it wasn't diabetes. She was shocked to death. And how was she shocked to death? When she heard what Avraham almost did to her יצחק Yitzchak, she had a massive heart attack, she dropped dead from the news. Can you imagine the regret, the remorse, the guilt that Avraham lived with? But he didn't stay down. He did not stay down. ויקם אברהם מעל פני מתו Vayakom Avraham me'al pnei meiso. Avraham got up. And this is what Rabbi Sacks says.He says, \"First Avraham undergoes a lengthy bargaining process to buy a field and a cave in which to bury Sarah. In a tense, even humiliating encounter, they say one thing and they mean another. Ephron, the owner of the field wishes to buy, he says, 'Listen, I'll give you the field, bury your dead.' As the narrative makes clear, this elaborate generosity is a facade, extremely hard bargaining. Avraham knows that he's an alien among them. He has no right to the land, you may not acquire it on your own. But Avraham, says Rabbi Sacks, is not deterred. He insists he wants to buy his own. Ephron says it's yours, I'll give it to you, is in fact a prelude to a demand for an inflated price. At last however, Avraham owns the land. The final transfer of ownership is recorded in precise legal prose, to signal at last that Avraham owns part of the land.\" It's a very small part of the land. It's a little field, it's a cave, but finally Avraham owns the land. And was it easy? Did it come miraculously? Did it fall into his lap? Says Rabbi Sacks, this is what he says is the עיקר הנקודה ikkar hanekudah here, this is the key point. It came at a great expense. It came after a difficult negotiation. It came after turmoil. And that is all the divine promise of the land that Avraham will see in his lifetime. That's all that he gets to own is a cave and a field. He was told, \"Walk the width and breadth of the land, it's going to be yours,\" but all he gets to actualize in his own lifetime is this little שטיקל shtickel property, this little piece of real estate, this little cave and this little field, and even that, he had to arduously negotiate and purchase.The next פרק perek, one of the longest in חומש Chumash, tells of Avraham's concern that that יצחק Yitzchak find a wife. 37 years old, still unmarried. Avraham has a child, no grandchild, no posterity, no promise of a future beyond יצחק Yitzchak if he's not married. And here again, does it come easy? It takes negotiation, it takes money, it takes trust. He has to send אליעזר Eliezer out and away. He has to overcome Eliezer's instinct that Eliezer wants him to marry his own daughter. He has to secure Rifka's release because Lavan rather pulls this whole charade. It doesn't come easy. They have to pay a lot of money, a big dowry. And then finally, they're able to leave. Eventually, patience pays off. Rifka leaves, Yitzchak marries her, the covenant will continue. Listen to what Rabbi Sacks says. These are then no minor episodes. They tell a difficult story. Yes, Avraham will have a land. He will have countless children, but these things will not happen sooner, suddenly, or easily, nor will they incur without human effort. To the contrary, only the most focused willpower will bring them about. The divine promise is not what it first seemed, a statement that God will act. It is in fact a request, an invitation from Hashem to Avraham and his children that they should act. Hashem will help. The outcome will be what Hashem said it would, but not without total commitment from Avraham's family against what will sometimes seem to be insuperable obstacles.You understand what Rabbi Sacks is saying? The whole theme, the whole essence, the whole idea, the whole legacy of Avraham is that yes, God made these two promises. He made them no less than five times. But when Hashem makes us a promise, he doesn't tell us to then become passive spectators to the fulfillment of that promise. He doesn't tell us it'll come easily. He doesn't tell us it'll come miraculously. He doesn't tell us the timetable with which it will come or how much of it we'll merit to see in our lifetime. Yes, that promise will come true, but the promise is an invitation as much as it is a promise. It is God's request to us to step up, to make the effort, to negotiate, to be willing to give capital, human capital, energy, emotion. It is we have to be his partner. A land, Israel, and children, Jewish continuity. Writes Rabbi Sacks, \"The astonishing fact is that today, 4,000 years later, they remain the dominant concern of Jews throughout the world.\" Jews throughout the world, 4,000 years later, these are the two things that we still think about. The safety and security of Israel as the Jewish home, and the future of the Jewish people. Will we have Jewish grandchildren and great-grandchildren? Are these not the universal two Jewish concerns 4,000 years later? Avraham's hopes and fears are ours. Is there any other people, I wonder, says Rabbi Sacks, whose concerns today are what they were four millennia ago? The identity through time is awe-inspiring. Now as then, the divine promise does not mean that we can leave the future to Hashem. That idea has no place in the imaginative world of the first book of the Torah. To the contrary, the covenant is Hashem's challenge to us, not ours to God. The meaning of the events of Chayei Sarah is not that Avraham realized that Hashem was depending on him. Faith does not mean passivity, it means the courage to act and never be deterred. The future will happen, but it is we, inspired, empowered, given strength by the promise, who must bring it about. So when I saw this insight of Rabbi Sacks, now, now I understood what he was saying to me in that interview, when he referenced that God promised Avraham these things five times. He never lost faith in God the moment he studied Parshas Chayei Sarah. He was cryptically answering in the interview to me, but he elaborated more in this insight in his Covenant and Conversation where his point is, you're right. If you're waiting for God, you'll lose faith in him. But if you realize that God is waiting for you, he wants us to act, he wants us to partner. He is inviting us to bring about that future, that destiny, that reality. Then we realize that it's not a question of our faith in God, it's a question of God's faith in us. How did he conclude? The meaning of the events of Chayei Sarah is that Avraham realized that God was depending on him. Faith does not mean passivity, the courage to act and means to be never deterred. The future will happen, but it is we, inspired, empowered, given strength by the promise, who must bring it about.ויקם אברהם מעל פני מתו Vayakom Avraham me'al pnei meiso. Avraham got up from his loss. He wasn't deterred, he wasn't fatigued, he didn't give up, even though he had yet to see these two promises. He realized it was his responsibility. Rabbi Sacks comes back to that theme over and over, almost every essay he has on Chayei Sarah, he comes back to that theme over and over, and he couples it, he complements it with different insights from secular scholarship and stories, but he comes back to that theme over and over again. And is that not the Jewish story? Did we not recently live it following the Holocaust? ויקם מעל פני מתו Vayakom me'al pnei meiso. The seventh million, the people who survived who had lost their loved ones, they didn't sit passively, they didn't feel a promise was broken, they got up and they rebuilt. They rebuilt tenaciously, their sense of resiliency. We are only here because after each of these episodes of life. And in some ways, I think that's our job even after the loss on this first yahrzeit reflecting back of Rabbi Sacks, is not to wallow in that loss and not to wonder what could have been, but to pick up where he left off, to feel responsible to continue his conversation, to continue his life mission of גר ותושב ger v'toshav, to learn what he learned from the world, to contribute to that world, to be those agents and ambassadors of the world. Rabbi Sacks was one of the biggest קידוש השם kiddush Hashem of our time, if not the greatest. And who else would have Prince Charles, Prime Minister Blair, to גדולי ישראל Gedolei Yisrael, to everyone in the world equally speaking about his greatness. He was a walking קידוש השם kiddush Hashem. And instead of wallow in that loss and instead of wonder of what could have been, our job is to pick up that mantle, to pick up the baton, and to keep going. And in that context, I'll share another insight I've been sharing recently. יבדל לחיים טובים וארוכים, רב יחזקאל Yibadel l'chaim tovim va'aruchim, Rav Yechezkel Weinfeld, is a great rav in Ramat Eshkol in Yerushalayim. My son-in-law davens at his shul. He's a big תלמיד חכם talmid chacham, used to have a ישיבה yeshiva, he has a כולל kollel, he has a beautiful shul, and his Torah touches me very deeply. He happens to be a very fascinating individual, and I'll share with you, you remember that Rabbi Sacks passed away the same week as Rav Dovid Feinstein, זכר צדיק וקדוש לברכה zecher tzaddik v'kadosh livracha. Two devastating losses, very, very different models of Jewish greatness, both great in their own right, different models of greatness. Rav Weinfeld's a חסידישע איד chasidishe yid, he wears a שטריימל shtreimel, he's a חסידישע איד chasidishe yid in ירושלים Yerushalayim. And on Shabbos morning after davening, there's a sit-down kiddush each week after davening, Weinfeld makes לחיים'ס l'chaims, and he talks about events of that week, always in the context with the filter of Torah, very powerful, very beautiful. I've enjoyed it and I I love hearing afterwards the דברי תורה divrei Torah from it. So I heard from several people who were there, including my son-in-law, that that week, after those two devastating losses, Rabbi Weinfeld sat down after davening, with the שטריימל shtreimel and his טלית tallis and after his חסידישע דאווענען chasidishe davening in the שטיבל shtiebel, and he made his לחיים l'chaim and he said, חברה chevra, כלל ישראל Klal Yisrael suffered a loss this week of someone irreplaceable. Well כלל ישראל Klal Yisrael went and everyone sitting in their thought, for sure he's going to speak about Rav Dovid Feinstein. He went on and on about the irreplaceability of this individual, who they were and their greatness, what they meant to him, how much he learned from them, how broken he was. And who was that individual? Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks. It threw everybody off. That was Rabbi Weinfeld felt that loss, and part of his greatness is the diversity of whom he appreciates. It was really very special to hear. So this wasn't a reflection on Rabbi Sacks, but Rabbi Weinfeld has the following very interesting insight. He says, you'll notice there's a lot of overlap in our parsha. We learn from the beginning of the parsha, we learn the laws of marriage from the purchase of the of the cave of the Machpelah. קיחה קיחה משדה עפרון Kicha kicha mi'sdeh Ephron. We know that one of the mechanisms through which a man can betroth the woman is כסף kesef. If he gives her something that is of minimal value, a שווה פרוטה shaveh prutah, then through that, through her accepting it, people see this as degrading to the woman that the man is giving it. It's not degrading. The man gives it, but she has to accept it. If she rejects it, they're also not married. He could put 400 rings on her fingers. He could put rings of billion dollar values on her fingers. But if she says, I don't have דעת da'as, I don't accept it, I don't receive it, then they're not married. She could put a million rings on his finger and he can accept it and they're not married. That's why a double ring ceremony is not consistent with הלכה halacha. When I officiate at a wedding and I understand that he's going to wear a ring, which הלכתית halachically there's no problem with whatsoever, I always say, you give her the ring under the חופה chuppah, she can give you the ring in the יחוד yichud room. She shouldn't give you the ring under the חופה chuppah. We don't want to distort the הלכה halacha to suggest as if there's a הלכתית halachic value to the double ring. There's only one ring which has value, and it's not biased or discriminatory. He gives the ring, she has to receive the ring. Only if each do their part, are they are they married. Where do we learn that from? Because it says כי יקח איש אישה ki yikach ish isha, if a man takes a woman, and here it says, כח מנה kach meino, he took the field, he purchased, he acquired the field. So, through giving money, you are betrothed. There is a transaction which took place and we apply that. We spoke last year, I'm not going to repeat, how utterly unromantic that is. There is nothing less romantic in the moment of betrothal than talking about death. Nothing less romantic. And yet, we learn the entire mechanism from the story of death, and there are beautiful, beautiful insights of why that is. Again, listen to last year's parsha shiur where I shared a few of them, several of them. But there are other similarities. We have, how many days does one sit shiva? How many days do you have שבע ברכות sheva brachos after a wedding? Seven days. In order to be able to be eligible to say the שבע ברכות sheva brachos, what do you need? You need someone, a פנים חדשות panim chadashos. Someone has to attend the שבע ברכות sheva brachos who wasn't at the wedding. How do you define פנים חדשות panim chadashos? Why do you need פנים חדשות panim chadashos? שבת Shabbos is פנים חדשות panim chadashos? We could give an hour shiur on פנים חדשות panim chadashos, a fascinating topic. But you need someone there who's at the שבע ברכות sheva brachos who wasn't at the wedding. For that individual, it is a renewed sense of joy and that's what generates or powers reciting the שבע ברכות sheva brachos. There's a special benching to be said in the house of mourning, we don't do it today, but the הלכה halacha was when it was done, you needed פנים חדשות panim chadashos, someone who had not yet been there to comfort, someone who was not at the at the funeral. So you have all this overlap, seven and seven, פנים חדשות panim chadashos, פנים חדשות panim chadashos. We learn קיחה קיחה kicha kicha, marriage from the purchase of the grave. What is this connection? What is all this overlap? So Rav Weinfeld שליט\"א shlita said the following. He says, Judaism views death very differently from the world around us. Others view death as being closure, as being final, as being the end of a chapter, the end of an era. Others view death as being only depressing and miserable. But Judaism sees death not as the end, not as the closure, not as the culmination. Judaism sees death as a point in a cycle. That's why we eat lentils, right? Yaakov fed Eisav the lentils that he had cooked for Yitzchak who was mourning the loss of Avraham. We eat an egg, the first meal, the סעודת הבראה seudas havra'ah, the mourner comes home and eats an egg which is round. The image of the round, of the cycle of life, death is not the end of a line, death is a point on a cycle, it's a point on a circle. And it reminds us that at the very moment that we mark and honor death, we also must celebrate life. And that's what Avraham understood. He buries Sarah, ויקם מעל פני מתו vayakom me'al pnei meiso, and he gets up and he immediately focuses on Yitzchak getting married so the next generation can flourish. And this is the deeper lesson between burial and marriage, that we're meant to respond to death by building life. The greatest response to death is not to become debilitated, is not to become a person who can't move, but we take the memory of who we lost, and now we make a commitment to build life and to make it flourish and blossom bigger and greater. We take that sad experience and it should fuel us to recognize the significance of those who are alive around us and to build the continuity, to build a beautiful and a bright Jewish future. That's what we're learning from Avraham, that's what Avraham did, and that's the two episodes here in פרשת חיי שרה Parshas Chayei Sarah.Ooh. Could do a whole day tribute, and we're running out of time. What more should we talk about here? What more should we talk about? Okay, let's talk about another part of Avraham, Avraham's legacy that Rabbi Sacks notes, which I think is a reflection on Rabbi Sacks as well, and that is his commitment to חסד chesed. He tells the story, Rabbi Sacks, I used this in a Shabbas Shuva drasha many years ago, and I took it from one of Rabbi Sacks' great books. Rabbi Sacks was an author of countless books. He put out, he told me, in fact, when I when I was once talking to him privately, it was, it was around my 40th birthday. So it was several years ago. And I told him how unaccomplished I felt because I had yet to write a book. ברוך השם Baruch Hashem, I have the privilege to teach and share a lot of Torah, but I'd love to leave a book, I'd love to write a book. If there's a book worth writing, I'd love to share it. So he told me that the first book he wrote and published was his was only when he turned 40. He had tried countless times in that interview, you can listen later, I asked him, did you ever fail? When he laughed out loud, one of the points of failure that he recalled was how many times he tried to publish books before his 40th birthday that were all rejected by publishers. Right, we're all looking and wondering, who were the publishers who rejected anything Rabbi Sacks had to write? Who were they? They should lose their publishing license. Who were those publishers?But he told me that he published his first book at 40. That part was interesting. The next part was overwhelming. He said, מסיח לפי תומו mesiach l'fi tumo, he said it just in passing. He said, I published my first book at 40, and I published a book every year since. Every year since. So he published one book a year. Now his books are not like a collection of my drashes of the year. Not knocking anyone who does that, but you give a drash every Shabbos, then you take your best of, you deliver it. It's a beautiful contribution. But Rabbi Sacks's book are scholarship, they're research, they're well thought out, the thesis, science, religion, they're unbelievable. A book a year for decades after his 40th birthday. He told me then, he said, by your 40th birthday, I want you to write a book, send it to me, I'll review it and help you with it, I'll help you get it published. I'm turning 47 this year and I have several books that I've written. The problem is, so far they're all only in my head. I've yet to actually write them. But I do remember his his words echo in my ears all the time. He's written, I think close to 30, close to 30 books, Rabbi Sacks. But with that brilliance, what I want to focus on is that Rabbi Sacks was brilliant, partly a gift by God, his genius was a gift by God, part of it genetic, part of it given to him by God at birth, much, most of it earned through hard work, through toil. But that's not what I want to focus on. What I want to focus on was his character. There are brilliant scholars, brilliant academics, brilliant תלמידי חכמים talmidei chachamim, brilliant great men and women, who when you come to know them and see them behind the scenes, one of the blessings of being the rabbi is that you get to host all the scholars in residence. One of the curses of being the rabbi is that you get to host all the scholars in residence. Because some of them when you see them when the lights and the camera are off, they surpass what you thought of them in public and you're blown away, you're inspired at what you see of them when no one's watching, just makes you think they're even greater. Others, let's just say, not so. Rabbi Sacks belongs in that first category. And I think that his his brilliance was surpassed only by his tremendous character, by the tremendous character of who he was and how he lived. And he makes this point in פרשת חיי שרה Parshas Chayei Sarah when he talks about what Eliezer went to go look for in a wife for Yitzchak.But he tells the story to begin with, and we don't have the time, I can't tell you the whole story. You can find that online. He quotes it from Stephen Carter. Stephen Carter is a professor at Yale University Law School, and he has a book called Civility. And Stephen Carter, an African American, talks about when his family moved to Baltimore, was the only black family in a Jewish neighborhood and they felt shunned and isolated and alone, but this observant Jewish woman came across the street. She had made goodies, a tray, drinks and cream cheese and jelly sandwich, she brought over to the children, made them feel at home, welcome them. And he recalls this Yale law professor in his book, that he specifically identifies her, Sarah Kestenbaum. She died all too young. He adds, \"It's no coincidence she was a religious Jew.\" Quote, \"In the Jewish tradition, civility is called חסד chesed, doing acts of kindness, which in turn derived from the understanding that human beings are made in the image of God. Civility,\" he says, \"itself may be seen as part of חסד chesed. It indeed required kindness towards our fellow citizens, the ones who are strangers, even when it is hard. To this day, I can close my eyes and feel on my tongue the smooth, slick sweetness of the cream cheese and jelly sandwich I got with them that summer afternoon when I discovered how a single act of genuine and unassuming civility can change a life forever.\" Rabbi Sacks quotes this story from Carter, that Yale professor. And then he goes on and he talks about, this is why Avraham when he sends Eliezer, and he arrives in Nachora, Aram Naharayim, northwest Mesopotamia, to find a wife, Avraham had not told him to look for any specific traits of character. He had simply told him to find someone who's part of his own family. Eliezer however, comes up with this whole test, the one is going to feed the camels in addition to him, the one is going to show חסד chesed. Eliezer doesn't say, I need a size two. I need to see a picture. Eliezer doesn't say, what's the יחוס yichus? Eliezer doesn't say, I need to speak to the pharmacist. What's in the medicine cabinet? Eliezer doesn't say any of the absolute insanity that people are looking for today. By the way, in all the שידוך shidduch questions I've fielded, I don't remember anyone asking me, \"Are her parents on the חסד chesed committee?\" \"Do his parents volunteer for the חברה קדישא chevra kadisha?\" I don't think that's on anyone's list of questions. It was on Eliezer's. It wasn't on his list of questions, it was his singular question. His one question was, does she do חסד chesed? Loving kindness, sensitive, does she care?Rabbi Sacks points out, this is also the theme of the book of Rus. Her kindness to Naomi and Boaz to Rus. The תנ\"ך Tanach seeks to emphasize in sketching the background to David, the great grandson who would become Israel's greatest king. Indeed, חז\"ל Chazal say the three characteristics, the most important in Jewish character, are modesty, compassion, and חסד chesed, and kindness. Sages based on the acts of Hashem himself. Torah begins with חסד chesed and ends with חסד chesed. It begins with God clothing the naked and it ends with him caring for the dead. חסד Chesed, providing shelter for the homeless, food for the hungry, assistance for the poor, visiting the sick, comforting the mourner, a dignified burial for all, became constitutive of Jewish life. During the many centuries of exile and dispersion, Jewish communities were built around these needs. These were חברות chevros, the societies for each of them. We don't have a חברה chevra of poker, a חברה chevra, mahjong, a חברה chevra of what do we have? Our חברה קדישא chevra kadisha. Hey, what are you doing Tuesday night? I thought of a fun activity for the חברה chevra. Let's go bury the dead. Let's go do a טהרה tahara. I thought of a great activity for our חברה chevra. Let's go do ביקור חולים bikur cholim. The חברה ביקור חולים chevra bikur cholim. חברה לומדי משניות chevra lomdei mishnayos. The חברות chevros in Jewish society points Rabbi Sacks out, we're not חברות chevros of going to the movies. They weren't חברות chevros of playing poker. They weren't חברות chevros of these other activities. They were חברה קדישא chevra kadisha was חסד chesed. The definition of a חברה chevra in יידישקייט Yiddishkeit are a group of people who they find their commonality is their desire, their willingness, their eagerness to do חסד chesed. He traces it to 17th century Rome, כדרכו בקודש k'darko bakodesh, brings in all of this analysis. English language in 1535... life. Miles Coverdale published the first ever translation of the Hebrew Bible into English. It was when he came to the word חסד chesed he realized there was no English word to capture its meaning. It was then that the translator he coined the word, loving kindness, traced it to the 16th century, loving kindness. Rabbi Sacks has a whole piece about the role of חסד chesed. I had so much I wanted to share about this, but I think this is also part of Rabbi Sacks's legacy, particularly to me. I can't believe we didn't get to all the other things I wanted to share. Rabbi Sacks probably was able to finish everything he wanted to say. I have yet to love learned that from him. But I think it's part of what makes Rabbi Sacks so special. He's this theme, is this essence, is this notion of דרך ארץ קדמה לתורה derech eretz kadma laTorah. With all the scholarship, with all the brilliance, with all the published work, with all the degrees and the honorary degrees, with all the House of Commons, and all of being knighted, with everything he achieved and he accomplished, he was a מנץ' mentch. If you knew Rabbi Sacks, he was a quintessential מנץ' mentch, and he was beloved by all for being that מנץ' mentch. And more important than all the other accomplishments and achievements, some he was gifted by God and others he worked hard and toiled for, was simply surpassed by being a מנץ' mentch, a בעל חסד baal chesed. He shared with me when he was the Chief Rabbi, the work he did to free עגונות agunot and orchestrating חסד chesed throughout the United Kingdom to be a מנץ' mentch and to care about מנשלעכקייט mentchlichkeit. And why was he so listened to? And why was he so heard? חז\"ל Chazal tell us that דברי חכמים בנחת נשמעים divrei chachamim b'nachas nishma'im. The words of the righteous of scholars are embraced, they are received when they are delivered softly and gently. חכמים הזהרו בדבריכם Chachamim hizaharu b'divreichem. And that's why the Torah, חז\"ל Chazal caution us, be careful with your words, be careful how you deliver them. Others are biting, and others are sarcastic, and others are negative, and others seek to beat the Jewish people over the head. Others seek to point out everything we're doing wrong. But that wasn't Rabbi Sacks. Rabbi Sacks lifted us up with optimism and hope, with a vision, with positivity, with love, with sensitivity, with seeing all the virtue and merit of the Jewish people, not what was missing. And I think that's why he did and does speak to us. Because בנחת b'nachas, he spoke בנחת b'nachas and therefore נשמעין nishma'in. Because he spoke בנחת b'nachas, that's why we are able to hear him. I'll end with רבי זושא Reb Zusha. This is also in our פרשה parsha, by the way, because חז\"ל Chazal tell us, we spend more Torah, more real estate, twice as much real estate on the story of Eliezer getting his wife, than we do on some laws of the Torah. So חז\"ל Chazal note because יפה שיחתן של עבדי אבות yafa sichasan shel avdei avos, great is the casual conversation of the loyal servants of our matriarchs and patriarchs, even greater than the Torah of their children. What does that mean? It means we learn from the way that they interrelated interpersonally, from their דרך ארץ derech eretz of the way that they approached the entire world. Rabbi ר' וולבה Reb Wolbe, in his ספר on חומש, שיעורי חומש Shiurei Chumash, ר' וולבה Reb Wolbe here writes, he says it's like you go shopping and you have all of these things that you collected. You got some fruits and vegetables, you bought some chicken, you bought some cheese and milk. How do you carry it all? How do you check out with it? How do you get it to your trunk? How do you get it home? You need a bag. Once upon a time, they used to give you a bag. Now they're environmentally friendly and you have to bring your own bag or pay for a bag. But you need a bag to put it in or a box to put it in, otherwise you can't bring it home. Says ר' וולבה Reb Wolbe, דרך ארץ קדמה לתורה Derech eretz kadma laTorah because if you don't come shopping with a bag, you have no way to collect all that Torah. The דרך ארץ derech eretz is the vessel that holds all that Torah. And if you don't come shopping for Torah with a דרך ארץ derech eretz bag, you have no way to carry it home. דרך ארץ קדמה Derech eretz kadma. You got to come shopping with the bag before you go shopping. Otherwise you have nothing to put it in. דרך ארץ קדמה לתורה Derech eretz kadma laTorah. יפה שיחתן של עבדי אבות Yafa sichasan shel avdei avos. And that was Rabbi Sacks. בנחת נשמעין B'nachas nishma'in. It was the דרך ארץ derech eretz which was קדמה לתורה kadma laTorah. So the רבי זושא Reb Zusha, we say this every morning, the משנה Mishna from פאה Peah. We list all these wonderful things that you reap the benefit in this world and the next world. כיבוד אב ואם Kibud av va'em, and visiting the sick, and burying the dead, and then that משנה Mishna ends with תלמוד תורה Talmud Torah? תלמוד תורה כנגד כולם Talmud Torah k'neged kulam. So the simple reading, the simple understanding, תלמוד תורה כנגד כולם Talmud Torah k'neged kulam means that while all of those activities are virtuous, beautiful, and great, תלמוד תורה Talmud Torah is the greatest of them all. תלמוד תורה Talmud Torah, learning, learning, learning is central, core, it surpasses them all. But the הייליגע רבי זושא heilige Reb Zusha says no. תלמוד תורה כנגד כולם Talmud Torah k'neged kulam means תלמוד תורה כנגד Talmud Torah k'neged. The word כנגד k'neged means what? Opposite. Not against, opposite. It means תלמוד תורה כנגד כולם Talmud Torah's k'neged kulam. The תלמוד תורה Talmud Torah only has value when it stands opposite all those other activities. But if you learn Torah and you don't practice כיבוד אב ואם kibud av va'em, you learn Torah, you don't visit the sick, and you don't help, you don't comfort the mourner, and you don't help the underprivileged, and you don't stand up and fight for justice, then what's the value of your תלמוד תורה Talmud Torah? The תלמוד תורה Talmud Torah has to be כנגד כולם k'neged kulam. First learn and do all those things, and now the תלמוד תורה Talmud Torah is כנגד כולם k'neged kulam. To me part of Rabbi Sacks's great legacy is not only the scholarship, but is the חסד chesed, is the בנחת b'nachas, is the sensitivity, is the מנשלעכקייט mentchlichkeit. It's who he was, it's who we are meant to be. ויקם Vayakom when we passed, he passes the baton, and we pick it up and we take it and we go from here. There was a lot more to share from him. Please God, we'll have the opportunity for years to come. Have a fantastic day. Tomorrow morning, 8:15, finally we're back. Ten minutes of meaning with the עשרת ימי תשובה'ס ש\"ץ Aseres Yemei Teshuvah's shatz. Living with אמונה emunah tomorrow morning is back to its regular time, 8:45. Please note 8:45. Tomorrow night we're going behind the בימה bimah with the great Rabbi Y. Y. Jacobson for a conversation you don't want to miss.
