Transcript
Good morning and welcome back to Living with Emunah, our weekly attempt, our weekly effort to come together and remind ourselves that we don't exist independently and in isolation, we are part of a bigger world that Hashem, our creator, our God, He knows everything going on in our lives, He loves us, He's invested in us, He's involved in us and He is there to support us. I want to thank our generous sponsors for the Emunah series for the year, we don't take for granted their generosity, Doctors Avi and Bella Morgan in memory of Rabbi Doctor Brian Galbut and in memory of Bella's mother Doctor Ellen Chanzer, thank you so much for that generosity and sponsorship. This morning's shiur is sponsored as well by Linda Gordon. Linda, Linda Gordon is actually sitting here in my office as I record. I'm not going to speak about this because I'm about to get emotional, but Linda, who's been with us for almost 25 years and is part of my family and our shul family is retiring, and this is her last shiur that she is here living in Boca and in my office. Linda, we love you and everything, we feel so appreciative for everything you've ever and always have done for us, and we'll miss you but we won't miss you because you're still going to be joining us to learn virtually every week together. So thank you Linda for your sponsorship, thank you so much more for everything you've always done. Also this morning is sponsored for refuah sheleimah of Ila Rosenblatt, mother of BRS member Jonah and Nadine and Seth and Shiran Faracoi, wife of BRS member Sholom Shaffner, grandmother and great-grandmother to many, captain of the ship as her kids call her, we daven that she have a speedy, a full, and a complete, and a painless refuah sheleimah and that we hear only good news. So thank you. If you'd like to sponsor a future shiur, please email lee@brsonline.org, lee@brsonline.org. Back to Living with Emunah. That's our mission, that's our mandate. It's why we're here. Tzaddik be'emunaso yichyeh. You're only really alive when you're living with Emunah. If you don't have faith, if you're not putting your trust in God, then do you really have a quality of life? If you're filled with worry and anxiety, if you're filled with fear of what will be and what will happen and how will it go and how will it work out, then do you really have a life? If you're filled with envy of what other people have and you desperately want it and you think you deserve it and you begrudge them for having it, then do you really have a life? If you fly off the handle with anger because the world doesn't react and fall in line with what you want and the way you want it, are you really living? And so the antidote, the answer, the formula and recipe to a life of serenity and peace, a life of happiness and a life of holiness, a life of living our best selves is to live with Emunah, is to realize that there is a God, there is an omnipotent infinite being, that we were not created in isolation or randomly, we're here, we're here for a reason. He knows, He is involved, He's invested in our life and He loves us. We have begun the new chapter in Beyam Dorchecha, the wonderful work of Rav Itamar Morgenstern, the chapter of bittul. Bittul as we introduced last week, I described the points on the outside of the circle. I go to shul, I learn, I do chesed, I do mitzvos on the outside of the circle doing all the right things. But what is at the center of the circle of our life? Do all those points draw back to the center of the circle being us? Are we living selfish, borderline or fully blown narcissistic lives? Is it all about our ego, our honor, and ourselves? Or no? We're doing all those right things not for us, not so that we get accolades, not that we get recognition, not that we get respect, but we're doing it for the Almighty, for the Ribbono Shel Olam, because we live with the awareness and we live with the mindfulness of His expectations of us, of what He wants from us and for us, not for Him, He wants that for us. Is the center of the circle ourselves or is the center of the circle Him? And Rav Itamar introduced this entire concept by telling us that true naturally we have this sense of the need for self-preservation. It's a halacha. If you have one container of water and you are in the desert, don't share it with another if both of you will die, and don't give it to the other so you will die and they will live. We have a responsibility and obligation that airlines only learned later, that when the oxygen mask drops first you put it on yourself before you help others. We need to preserve ourselves. We cannot be taken advantage of, we cannot be stepped or trampled all over. We have to care about ourselves, but we're caring about ourselves so we can best be of service to Him. The reason we care about ourselves is so that we can live a life in which our life is about serving Him and meeting His expectations and understanding our mission in this world. Will the result be our own pleasure? There's nothing more gratifying, there's nothing more satisfying, there's nothing more enriching or elevating than feeling like you're serving Him, that you're giving Hashem nachas ruach, that you're giving the Almighty tremendous pride, that you are advancing His cause, His mission. There's nothing more gratifying or satisfying, there's no greater source of pleasure in the world. The fact that there is a pleasure that's derived doesn't negate and doesn't contradict the drive or the reason for why we do it. We do it not to serve ourselves. We're living lives not where we are at the center of the circle, but the Ribbono Shel Olam, the Almighty, is at the center of the circle. What does He want from you right now? Every day is filled with decisions we have to make. From the moment we wake up until that last moment when we close our eyes and fall asleep, we are making decisions. Should I say this or say that? Should I get out of bed or hit the snooze button? Should I eat this or should I eat that? Should I go to this place or go there? Should I click this or click that? Should I send that email should I... We're making, we are decision-making machines all day, every single day. In fact, it's quite exhausting. Research has been done about the fatigue from decision-making and which points of the day we're most worn out from the decisions we make, when we're at our sharpest and when we're not. Why am I mentioning this? Because when we make those decisions, we should do so with a question mark. Not only what do I want? There are many variables that go into every decision we make. What do I want? What's right for me? What's just? What'll best serve my family? There are many, many variables, but one of them must be what does Hashem want from me? What will give Hashem nachas or pride? What does Hashem think is right for me to do and what should I do? That has to be part of the calculus, part of the calculation. Not just what I want, what I need, what I feel is good, but will it give Hashem nachas ruach? The Ramban writes this is the nature of one of the mitzvos in the Torah: v'asita hayashar v'hatov. Do what is right and do what is just. What kind of mitzvah is that? What does that mean, do what is right and do what is just? In what circumstance, when, where, how? So the Ramban writes, the Torah legislates and it regulates countless behavior that we have to do throughout the day. But what about what falls between the cracks? What about the decisions and the dilemmas that we confront every day that are not explicitly articulated in the Shulchan Aruch? How do we know what to do? Says the Ramban, here's how you know: you ask yourself, will this give Hashem nachas? Will this make Hashem happy? Will this give Hashem pride? Is this what Hashem wants from me in this moment? There are dilemmas that we have throughout the day, and in trying to understand what the answer to the dilemma should be, we have to ask ourselves, what does Hashem want? Not only what do I want? There's nothing wrong with thinking about what do I want, what makes sense for me, what will be good for me, but also what does Hashem want for me? And sometimes you can make every argument and every excuse, every rationalization in the world to defend a particular act or behavior, but you have to ask yourself, will this give Hashem nachas? Yes, with the IRS agent, yes, with the judge in the court, yes, in the court of public opinion maybe even, I could defend this. But is it what Hashem wants? Am I giving Hashem nachas? Is this what He wants at this moment? So this is the middah of bitul, of nullifying ourselves, of working on ourselves. Bitul, I would say, is surrender, submission, a recognition that yes, I exist. I must have a sense of self. I have to have a healthy sense of self. I have to have a healthy love of myself. V'ahavta l'reiacha kamocha. I can't love others until kamocha, I have to first love myself. And now I have a paradigm or model for how a standard, how to love others, but I have to love myself. So I have to have a healthy sense of self, a self-esteem, a self-confidence, a healthy sense of self, sense of self. But once I do, it has to be directed, bitul, to be mevatel myself to others, to nullify, to surrender, to submit to others. You see this, we'll get back to our text in one moment, but you see this in our parsha. In our parsha, I didn't get to this yesterday in the parsha class, Moshe is gossiped about by his siblings. Miriam and Aaron speak about him, and God intervenes and says, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I never tolerate gossip. God says gossip is never good. Gossip is never good. When I was growing up, there was a guy in my shul used to say to me as a kid, he'd say, Ephraim, I don't repeat lashon hara, so listen carefully the first time. God doesn't want you to say it the first time, He doesn't want you to say it the second time, don't repeat lashon hara, don't initiate lashon hara. He doesn't like gossip. But in this case God says to Miriam and Aaron, he says, what are you doing? Do you know your brother's My loyal servant? והאיש משה ענו מאד מכל האדם. Did you know that Moshe's the most humble, modest person of all time, of all people? What are you doing? You cannot gossip about him. God Himself testifies, God Himself gives an endorsement to Moshe's greatness, and God Himself intervenes and says, how dare you, you cannot gossip about him, you cannot question him, you cannot slander him. So the question is, but how did Moshe write that? Moshe takes dictation from Hashem. God dictates the words of the Torah and Moshe writes it down. Moshe takes dictation from the Almighty. So when Moshe sits down and takes the dictation, והאיש משה ענו מאד, so how does how does Moshe not say to God, God, I love You, but in my humility, which I work on, I can't write that. Can we figure out another way? I refuse. Previously, when Moshe expressed his humility, the aleph of Vayikra was made small. He wanted it to be vayakara, it was chance that God spoke to him, like Bilaam. God said no, it's Vayikra, I called out to you, I won't deny that, I won't distort that. And they settled, they compromised, God made it a small aleph. So why here does Moshe write down והאיש משה ענו מאד מכל האדם? Isn't it a contradiction to humility to write down that you're the most humble person? So Rav Druck in his sefer, Eish Tamid, we had Rav Druck on our parsha class live, we had him actually in person yesterday. If you haven't... watched it or listened to it yet, and *Rav Druk* develops this idea, this important idea that we know, that in Judaism humility is not thinking less of yourself, it's not thinking less of yourself, it's thinking of yourself less. It's not thinking less of yourself. You have to know your talents and your skills and your gifts, you have to know what you bring to the table, you have to know who you are, you have to know what you offer the world, you have to know your mission. It's not to think less of yourself, it's to think of yourself less often. So the idea is, I know who I am and I know what I bring and I know what I'm good at. To deny that is to deny that God is the *tzelem Elokim* and that God is the generous benefactor who gave you those talents and skills. The mistake is not to say, humility is not I'm nothing, I'm not talented, I'm not good at this, I'm not good at that. That's not humility, that's false humility. That's just falsehood. If one is good at something, if one has certain talents or skills. Humility is the recognition that they're not part of my permanent collection, they're not owned by me, they are on loan by God. So today I'm a good artist or I'm a good athlete and I'm a good orator. Today I have a good mind or I have a good memory. Today I have a charismatic personality. Today I'm a good chef or I'm a good, today whatever gifts I have, they are on loan and they are on loan from God. So it is a false humility and it's falsehood to say I'm not good at X, Y, or Z if you are good. What's humility? To say I'm good at those things but only because God grants me the capacity to be good, it's on loan, it's not permanent, and it could disappear tomorrow. So *Moshe* does not deny his humility, there is recognition of the humility, and that is not the opposite of humility. The goal is not to think less of yourself, it's to think of yourself less often. And that is *bittul*. That is what we're trying to achieve, it's who we're trying to become. We're trying to live virtuous meritorious lives, we're trying to create craft lifestyles that we're doing the right things for the right reasons. We're not just going through the motions externally because it feeds some narcissistic need for recognition, honor, praise, the whole selfie mentality, the whole influencer mentality, look at me, approve of me, admire me, praise me. That's not what we believe in whatsoever. What we believe in is who am I, what am I good at, what is my mission and how can I use it to advance God's vision for this world? How can I repair the world and improve the world, how can I inspire others? So if you're sharing, as I am right now, where's the humility in hosting a Living with *Emunah* *shiur*? Who am I to be on a screen projecting to you, nobody else can be seen, it's just me. Isn't it arrogant that I have something to say that you should come and listen? So the answer is a little bit. The *Gemara* says that *talmidei chachamim*, people who teach or who try to teach, who aspire to be *talmidei chachamim*, have a *shminis shebeshminis* have an eighth of an eighth of *gaiva*, of arrogance. You have to have a healthy dose of self-confidence, a healthy self-confidence to get up in front of a room and speak, to go online and teach, to write an article and say I have a thought and I think it's worthwhile for you to read. It takes a healthy self-confidence. Is it arrogant? Hopefully it's self-confident, not arrogant. What is the difference between the two? Why you're doing it. If the goal and the mission, if the brand is you, it's arrogant. If the brand and the mission is inspiration for *Hashem*, drawing others close, trying to create a community of people striving to be better and to be closer to *Hashem*, then it's all about him. That's not, that's not arrogant, it's *bittul*. In the context of teaching and sharing His *Torah* to be *mevatel* yourself that it's for Him and it's not really about us. So says *Rav Itche Meir*, says the reason this is so important is that there are countless people who externally are going through the motions and getting it all right. There are countless people who can put the check next to every box of *Yahadus*. What Judaism, what *Torah*, what God demands of me, check, check, check, check, check, I'm doing it all right. Why don't I feel it? Why am I not alive? Why is my soul not on fire? Why don't I feel close? Why don't I feel His presence? Why aren't I clinging to Him? Why don't I feel His love? Says *Rav Itche Meir* because what's missing is all the externals are there, all the check marks are there, but is there *bittul*? Is it all about you in the end of the day? Is it all about what you want and your happiness, your ego? Is it all about you or is it *bittul*? Is it relinquishing, surrendering, submitting ourselves to Him? Are we doing that all about and for Him? Okay and with that we begin *Perek Aleph*, page *Mem-Tes* if you have the wonderful *sefer* *Bayam Darkecha*, you can get it online, *Bayam Darkecha* and we're on page *Mem-Tes*. הגדרה השורשית של עבודת הביטול היא. The definition, the core definition of working on this quality. The core definition of what it means to try to surrender and submit to Him. להרגיש כל כך את מציאות השם יתברך. To feel and to be so aware of God's presence עד שלא ירגיש את מציאות עצמו. That God's presence is so large, is so great, is so overwhelming, is so all-encompassing, that there's no room for me. I'm not trying to coexist, I'm not trying to compete. All there is is Him, *ein od milvado*. This world and everything in it is an extension, is an expression of Him. I'm not trying to compete. That is the very basic definition. That is the definition of bittul. Bittul of surrender of submission is that I'm so aware of God's greatness, I'm so aware of God's largesse, that I don't try to compete and I'm not trying to be in the same space as him, but I recognize that because he's so great at this moment, in this time, in this world, all there is is him. That's all there is. He writes here in the footnote that we can identify with this. You think we can't. Bittul, is that healthy? Is it right? Can I even do it? So many people will say no, no, and no. So says Rav Itche Meir, we can identify, we could relate. There are circumstances in life where we are already mevatel ourselves, where we submit or surrender or we negate or we neglect. To a certain extent, we don't even exist in comparison. In that moment, we're not even feeling our existence because we're overwhelmed by the existence of another. One example he has, לקרב את הדבר אל הלב, in order to bring the matter close to the heart, yisbonen kol echad, each person should think about and contemplate, אם הוא היה זוכה, if he would merit, להיכנס אצל אחד מגדולי הדור ולדבר עמו כמה מילים. Imagine you had access to one of the greatest of the generation, to an extraordinary leader. In the presence of that great, great righteous leader, would you even be thinking about yourself? Would you exist in comparison in the presence of the other? בודאי שיהיה כל כך מרוכז בגדול הדור. You'd be so overwhelmed, you'd be so invested in, you'd be so involved in, you'd be so listening or watching the other, עד שישכח באותו רגע מעצמו. In that moment you would forget you exist. So on the way in to the gadol hador you're starving. On the way out you're ravenously hungry. But in that moment do you even feel a hunger pang? You're right there in that moment, soaking it all in, taking it all in. That other person's greatness so fills the room and that space that you don't even recognize the existence of yourself. וכל הרגשותיו ומחשבותיו יהיה רק על אותו אדם גדול ועל דבריו. You're listening so intently, so carefully, you're trying to soak up and immerse yourself and marinate in that experience so fully, the person's greatness doesn't even leave room for your own self-awareness. Are you hot? Are you cold? Are you hungry? Are you tired? None of those thoughts enter your head in that moment that you have an audience with that great person, because you're so immersed in that experience. וכל שכן אם הוא אחראי על הכנסו של אותו אדם הגדול לאיזה אירוע. If you're responsible... I had the privilege of driving Rav Schechter many times. When I've gone to Eretz Yisrael I've had the privilege of driving Rav Asher Weiss many times. And you are so consumed with the conversation, with the happiness, with the interest, with the needs of that great, great person, you are so privileged and proud to be in their presence that you are so immersed in the experience that there is no I in that moment. There is no I as I'm responsible for the other. כי יש בכח הנפש להרגיש עניין בעוצמה כזאת עד שלא יעלה על הלב שום עניין אחר. We can relate to being so immersed in something that there is no one and nothing else. We don't even realize, we're not even aware of what's going on around us, let alone about ourselves. Dugma nosefes, here's another example, bekivun acher. כשאדם שקוע בקריאה או לימוד איזה עניין. Says Rav Itche Meir, you're reading something. You're reading a book, you're reading a magazine. You're so taken by it, you're so invested in it, you're so distracted by it, sheme'od me'anyein oso. You can't tear yourself away from it. הוא יכול לפעמים לשכוח איפה הוא נמצא. You could forget where you are. You could forget, there's no time awareness. You have no idea how much time has elapsed or what time it even is. ואז אפילו אם יקראוהו לא ישמע. To the degree that if someone calls you, you won't hear. Have you ever started reading something at night in bed and it is so engrossing, it is so engaging, that hours and hours and hours go by and you don't even realize it? You stayed up a good part of the night and you'll regret it in the morning, but you were so taken by that story, by that narrative, by that plot, by those ideas that you didn't even have an awareness. You lost all sense of time. You lost all sense of time. Lehavdil, lehavdil, lehavdil, lehavdil a billion times over. You know why there are no windows or clocks in a casino? A casino has no windows and it has no clocks, because the casino has an interest that while you are there you have no awareness that there's anything other than your gambling instinct. You don't know what time it is, there's no time awareness. You don't look out a window and see it was dark, now it's light, it's getting dark, it's getting light, because they're so invested in you having no awareness of anything other than what you're doing. When you read a book, when you're doing something. He describes Rav Itche Meir. We've had this. There are people in my life, baruch Hashem, we have a home of voracious readers. My wife and children, I wish I can include myself among them, they are amazing readers, voracious readers. And they are also so engaged, so hyper-focused that Sometimes they're reading a book, you're standing right next to them, you're talking to them, they don't even know you're standing there. Forget looking up, forget acknowledging it. It's not a criticism. They're so focused on the book, they aren't even aware. You can call them from the other room, forget calling them from the other room, you can be standing next to somebody and unless you tap them on the shoulder or put your hand on the book of what they're reading, they won't realize there's someone else there. So we have the experience, we can identify, we can relate, we have a precedent of being so immersed, so hyperfocused, so engaged in something that we don't even think about ourselves. You realize I haven't eaten in so long, I didn't even realize what time it is, I didn't realize how hot it is in here, I didn't realize how cold it is in here, I didn't realize how tired I am, I didn't realize we're so unaware of ourselves because we are so hyper-aware of something else. And that's what bittul is. That's what we're trying to create, that's what we're trying to work on is to take the experience from a book or watching a sporting event or lehavdil a casino, take the experience of being so hyper-focused and aware of something that I'm so utterly unaware of myself and redirecting, channeling that to the relationship with Hashem. How can we be so hyper-focused and hyper-aware and uber-aware that there is a God? He is great, ein od milvado. He is all of existence, that there is no 'I' compared to him. אלה הם דוגמאות קלות, these are minor examples, simple, לסבר את האוזן שיש כזו מציאות. This is just to open up our ear to recognize that there is such a reality, שאדם ירגיש דבר עד שלא ירגיש את מציאות עצמו. We already have this notion that a person can feel something else so great and it can capture all of our focus to the point that we have no awareness of ourselves. אמנם במשלים הנזכרים אדם יוצא מעצמו ונכנס להרגיש משהו אחר אבל בענייננו כאן זה הרבה יותר שורשי. There's a fundamental difference says Reb Itche Meir between the examples that we gave and what it means to surrender and submit to God. Because when I'm so immersed in the Super Bowl, when I'm so immersed in the book, the magazine, when I'm so immersed in watching the documentary, when I'm so immersed in whatever other activity, so I am not focused on myself because my sense of self has actually entered and immersed into feeling the other thing. So the sporting event, you're so engaged in it, the ups, downs, the rollercoaster, the uncertainty, the unpredictability of it, you're so engaged in it, what's going to happen next? The edge of the seat, the suspense, what's going to happen next? So the reason that I'm not aware of my own self is because I'm so focused, I've put myself vicariously through the unpredictability and the suspense and the spontaneity of what I'm reading or what I'm watching. However, when it comes to Hashem's awareness, Hashem's existence being so great that in that moment I have no existence myself, it's not because I immerse myself in him, it's even more fundamental. כי באמת כאשר אדם מתבטל להשם יתברך, when a person surrenders or submits to God, הוא אינו יוצא מעצמו כלל. I am not forfeiting or giving up or losing or surrendering myself, כי באמת הפנימיות רק השם יתברך הוא המציאות. I'm not going out of myself to experience something else, I'm actually going deeper into myself. Let me repeat that because it was a very, very deep idea. Listen carefully. If a person loses themselves in what they're reading or watching, they are neglecting themselves, they're going outside themselves, they're vicariously living through something else. But when a person immerses themselves and loses themselves in God, they're not forfeiting or conceding or leaving themselves to go to God, we're actually going deeper into ourselves because God is in us, the tzelem elokim. There is a Godly spark, there is a divine spirit inside each and every one of us. We struggle. It's fighting, it's competing with an animal soul. If all there were were the Godly spirit, we would all be manifestations, angels of God in this world, be a beautiful world and the birds would be chirping and everyone would do the right thing and it would be a perfect world. But every one of us is struggling. There's the Godly voice inside us, there's the Godly instinct, there's the Godly discipline and dignity inside us, but it is competing, it is battling, it is fighting the animal voice, the animal instinct that has no discipline, have no dignity, just dig into what you want, the pleasures, the fleeting hedonistic pleasures of this world. That is a battle, that is a fight. But among the competitors in this fight inside us is the tzelem elokim, is the Godly soul, is the Godly spirit. So when I connect to God, I'm not going outside myself, I'm going deeper into myself. I'm trying to become aware of that Godly soul, I'm trying to nourish that Godly soul, I'm trying to realize and recognize that Godly soul within me. So it's a fundamental and critically important difference to understand that when I vicariously live through others, I could lose myself in the book, the magazine, or sporting event I'm watching, but I'm losing... myself to go into something else, as opposed to when I lose myself, notion of *bittel*, of surrender and submission to God, as I'm not surrendering to something outside myself. I am surrendering to that which is within me. I'm going deeper and deeper into me. והנברא אינו דבר הקיים מצד עצמו. Creation is not something that exists on its own independently, אלא חי מכח אורו שנשפע מהם. I'm only animated and alive because God is breathing through me. ויפח באפיו נשמת חיים. God is breathing through you. That's why you are alive, that's how *Adam Harishon*, Adam became a living animated being to begin with, not some *golem*, not some corpse. God breathed his life into *Adam Harishon* into Adam and he became alive, and God breathed life into every one of us when we wake up in the morning. If we merited to wake up today, and it's not a given. I've done several funerals for people who died in their sleep who did not wake up. It's not a given to wake up on any given day. And if we have the gift and the blessing of waking up this morning, then God has restored our soul. It means that God breathed life back into us again. It's a new day, it's a fresh start, it's a new beginning. It can be a new us, but God has renewed our contract for another day. He says we're not done, there's more to achieve, there's more to do. One can retire and they're not done. One is retiring from their profession, but there is no retirement from life because if God has put air in our lungs, if he's breathed life into our soul, if we woke up another day, then it means we're not retired. He is the only one who can grant us retirement, and retirement is death. Retirement is when the soul is extracted from the body and the soul and the body are done. The soul goes up on high and the body returns to the earth from which it came and *Mazel Tov* on your retirement. That's what death, we shouldn't call it death, we should call it retirement. Retirement. We're having a funeral for somebody who God retired, who has become retired. That's retirement. Retirement in this world is retiring from our profession, from our job, from our livelihood, but we don't retire from life. It's not the end, it's the beginning. We're about to write the next chapter of life. If we're alive, if he breathed life into our souls, then he has renewed our contract, then he is expressing himself still through us. Then we continue to have a unique mission, we continue to have a unique purpose in this world. Volunteer, leadership in our family, outside of our family, creativity, there's so many contributions we could make to this world even if we're no longer engaged in our profession. So therefore, when we surrender and submit, then we say to *Hashem*, what can I do for you? I'm here again for you. What's my next mission? What's my next mission? My professional one is done, is complete, what's my next mission? When I am surrendering and submitting to him, I'm not going outside of myself, I'm not becoming enslaved to him, I'm going deeper into myself, *b'pnimiyus*. I'm going deeper into myself to find the God in me and to say, okay partner, okay God in me, what's our next mission together? Okay the divine that expresses itself through me, what do you have in store next for us? What should we be doing next? What is next for us and the best is always yet to come. There's always better and more to achieve. We are never ever ever done as long as we have breath in this world. והנשמה מטבעה מרגישה את מציאות השם יתברך. And the soul *mitivah*, the soul from its nature, the soul naturally feels the existence of God. והיא מתבטלת בתוכו כי חיה מאורו. So the soul, the godly spirit in us, doesn't have to be taught or conditioned towards this, knows this. What's he driving at, Rabbi *Shmaya*? My dear Living with *Emunah* friends, what he's driving at is the following. I'm not lecturing to you, I'm speaking to myself and I'm sharing right now with myself what I want to work on, is that we tend to forget, neglect God throughout our day. We tend to think, where is God? When I talk to him in *shul*, when I make a *bracha* before I eat or after I eat, you know, that's where God is. When I'm learning in that moment, I'm learning. But the rest of the day, oh, now I'm at work, now I'm at the gym, now I'm in my kitchen, now I'm having coffee with my friend. Now I'm about me. The rest of my day is about me. I put in my time with him, *Shacharis Mincha Maariv*. I put in my time with him when I make the blessing before or after I eat, but the rest of the day and in between, I'm not doing it for him or with him, I'm doing it all about me. To the point that we forget about him. We forget about him. This notion of *bittel* is that it's impossible to forget about him. He's with us always and forever. It's a consistent awareness of his greatness, of how grandiose he is. And therefore, I'm still at the gym or in my kitchen having coffee with my friend, but he's got a seat right at that table. He's pulled up right next to the treadmill. He is sitting on the next Peloton. God is with us always. That's true on the level of *dveikus*, clinging to him, sticking with him, knowing he's got our back, knowing he's going through it with us, as we spent many months learning about. But it's also true on the level of *bittel*, that therefore in this moment, I need to constantly check and evaluate and reflect, is this me or him? Am I being of service? Is this all promoting, is this all contributing? to my mission for him or is it all about the mission and the brand called me? Bittul is the nullification of the me and finding the him inside ourselves. I need to exercise and I need to have coffee with my friend and I need to relax and I need to shop and I need to cook and I need to work and I need to do all of those things that's all part of life, that's part of the way in which God created the world and the way in which I live my life and craft my lifestyle. But am I at the center of the circle or is God? Is there that sense of bittul? Aveiros, החטא מחטא אדם הראשון וחטא אדם עצמו מכסה את זאת. So all the mistakes that we make, all the aveiros that we do is because we're covering that neshama inside us. We are covering the godly soul, the godly spirit, the godly sense of discipline and dignity that we have. והן גורמות לנפש לא תוכל לראות להרגיש השם יתברך כראוי. And what that does is it causes us to not truly feel our neshama the way we're meant to and we become instead of multi-dimensional, we become uni-dimensional, we're monolithic, we become we become singularly all about us. וממילא היא מרגישה את עצמה כמציאות קיימת ואת השם יתברך כמציאות נמצאת מחוץ לעצם החיים הפרטיים. I think that God is outside myself. God is in the books and God is in the siddur and God is at the shul and God is somewhere else instead of realizing that, you understand this fundamental will end with this fundamental point. When I say that God is with us and can be found next to us and one can't separate themselves from God, it's not because there's me, Goldberg, and now on top of me or on my right shoulder or somewhere near me is God. God is inside me. I can't try to separate from God if I want. It's an impossibility. You cannot separate from God. That soul as long as there's air in your lungs, as long as you're alive and you're breathing, there is a godly soul inside you. So you can no longer more separate from God than you can separate from your lungs. You cannot take your lungs and leave them behind. You cannot say I'm so sick and tired of this heart, I'm going to leave it on my desk when I go home, because you can't be alive. And the same is true. One is not alive without the tzelem Elokim that animates our very being. So you cannot exist independent from him. So when you discover him and lean in to him and surrender to him, you're not surrendering to something outside yourself, you're surrendering to the deepest part, to the recesses of who we are. We are discovering and actualizing and realizing our true selves, our genuine selves, our best selves. Now the animal inside us says, whoa, I don't like where that's heading. I'm not interested in that. I want an undisciplined, undignified life. I want you to give into your animal impulse and animal instinct. I don't want some disciplined world. So that animal is battling and fighting and trying to squash and extinguish and cover that soul inside us and our mission is to defeat the animal instinct, is to let that godly soul be on fire, let it blossom and flourish, let it be loud and clear, let our lives be of meaning and purpose and service to him and those around us. Let us live for holiness and when we do, we will discover an enormous sense of happiness. Thank you to all of our sponsors again. Thank you to our dear Linda and nine o'clock tonight join us on Behind the Bima. We're going Behind the Bima with Representative Ritchie Torres, who is a self-described progressive Democrat from the Bronx, a new member of Congress who has been extraordinarily outspoken in support of Israel and against anti-Semitism and he has been the victim of hatred from the woke community who have attacked him viciously. We go Behind the Bima to thank him tonight nine p.m., so please join us there. Looking forward to that great opportunity to have that conversation with him tonight. Also joining us tonight is Joseph Borgen, a young man who was beat up in Manhattan for being a Jew wearing a yarmulke. He'll tell us that story tonight nine p.m. Behind the Bima, behindthebima.com. You can find the show nine p.m. at behindthebima.com. If you have not yet, subscribe to our YouTube channel, be notified in real-time every time we learn, every time we grow, every time you can be part of our community who are trying to better ourselves. Until next time, stay happy, stay healthy, and stay holy.
