Transcript
Good morning, Boker Tov. Welcome back to our weekly living with Emunah, our weekly meeting, our weekly support group, our weekly effort to be mechazek, to strengthen one another, to be able to truly live with Emunah, to feel Hashem's presence in our lives, to feel his love, to lean on him, to confide in him, to talk to him, to connect with him, and to be able to grow in our relationship with him. I want to thank our Emunah series sponsors for the year, Doctors Avi and Bella Morgan. Thank you so much for your generous sponsorship l'illui nishmas in memory of Dr. Brian Gabbet, Rabbi Dr. Brian Gabbet, as well as in memory of Bella's mother. Emunah class is also sponsored by Ronda Shubal in commemoration of the yahrtzeit of her beloved father, Sigmund Shaefer. Thank you so much for that generosity and may his neshama have an aliyah. Okay, we continue to learn this wonderful sefer BeYom Dorchecha by רב איצ'ה מאיר מורגנשטרן. We have been working on the middah, the quality, really it's more than a quality, it's a muscle, it's a muscle that we commit to memory, it's a lifestyle of dveykus. How we can connect with Hashem in a way that we are clinging to him, that we are connecting to him, that we feel his presence no matter what's going on in our lives. So we may be tempted to react with envy or jealousy, we may be tempted to fly off the handle with anger or rage, we may be frustrated by life, by people, by the world around us. But with dveykus, when we cling to God, we have nothing to worry about and nothing to fear. We know he's in the room, we know he's watching what we're doing, we know he's holding and lifting us up. When we are aware of his presence, it brings a tremendous sense and a state of calm. It brings a tremendous state and a sense of confidence, of confidence that everything's going to be okay, not because it's going to happen the way that we want necessarily, but because it's going to happen by design. It's not random, it's not chance, it's not happenstance, but rather it is going to happen by design. I said yesterday in the parsha class and I'm going to say tomorrow night, we have a wonderful event on Chassidus beginning at 8:30 tomorrow night with Rav Moshe Weinberger and Rav Efraim Brand on Chassidus, how to connect to our inner selves, and I'll probably say this again tomorrow night. But in our parsha, when Yaakov is telling Yosef before he gives him the bracha, the blessing, and he says: I want to share with you the greatest bracha I have and you know what that is? האלוקים אשר הרועה אותי, Hashem, haro'eh means who shepherded me, that my life is not just a string of chance and random events. Things don't happen by accident. I'm not just a victim of nature. Everything is by design. Everything was choreographed and curated. Everything is organized and orchestrated from above. He's the shepherd and I'm a sheep. I'm in the flock. I'm moving in the direction. He tells me where to go and I go. It doesn't mean I don't take initiative and it doesn't mean I don't make an effort and it doesn't mean I don't have free will and autonomy. But in the end of the day, when all is said and done and when that is over, Hashem is in charge. I am a sheep and he is my shepherd. But the Rav, Rabbi Soloveitchik quotes the Ramban who has a different interpretation, that the word ro'eh, shepherd, the root of that word shepherd is rei'a, which means friend. And he translates this pasuk differently. What Yaakov is telling Yosef is: HaElokim, you know God, God who befriended me since the day I was born until this very day. I have a lot of friends. We all have a lot of friends. We have acquaintances, we have friends, we have people who we thought were our friends, we thought they were our friends. We have others who we didn't even know all along that were really our greatest friends. We have a lot of friends. But you know who our best friend in the whole world is? Our best friend from the day we're born until the day we leave this world? Our best friend is none other than Hashem. He's our friend. He's trustworthy, he's reliable, you can confide in him, he's not going to share your secrets. He listens without judgment. And yes, he pushes us and challenges us, and yes he has expectations of us just like our real friends do. But in the end of the day, he is our friend. Shepherd, ro'eh comes from rei'a, comes from friend. God who befriended me. He is our best friend. We're never ever alone when he is in our lives, when he is in the room. We can talk to him, unburden ourselves on him, challenge him, express gratitude to him, protest him, the things we're upset about or disappointed in. But he is our friend and he's always available. We have friends, they never have time for us. We have friends, we always have to initiate, they don't reciprocate. We have friends who we thought we were confiding a secret and they violated us and they shared it. We have all kinds of friends, but friends are human and friends sometimes fail. But God is the ultimate friend. God, he's the ultimate ro'eh, he's our shepherd and he's our friend and he's with us on this ride called life. But here is the key, here is the pre-condition: we have to invite him and welcome him in. He doesn't show up uninvited. He's not a friend who imposes himself. He's not a friend who inserts himself. He's a friend when we nurture the friendship, when we develop the friendship. And friendship, like all other relationships in our lives, they require what are the key ingredients to a healthy relationship. Healthy relationships need time, healthy relationships need communication, healthy relationships need effort, healthy relationships need us to go above and beyond and to do our part, to do our part. So he is our shepherd. As Yossi says, we say on, sing on, Rosh Hashanah in one of the great songs in the liturgy of the Rosh Hashanah that he we are his tzon, we are his flock, and he is ro'einu ata ro'einu, that you are our shepherd. And it's not just you are our shepherd, but Hashem, you are our, you are our friend. And we feel your presence, and we cherish that friendship, and we nurture it, and we contribute to it, and we're part of it. So what we've been developing in this chapter on dveikus of Itcher Meir Morgenstern has told us that if you want to be able to rise to that level, if you want to live on that plane, if you want to live in that transcendent place, then you need to acquire, acquire dveikus, the ability to cling, to stick, to glue, to attach ourselves to God. How do you do it? So number one step we talked about and developed is emunah. If you don't believe God exists you're not going to have a relationship with him. If you don't believe he exists you're not going to have a relationship with him. I've said in this group countless times and unfortunately I find myself saying to people countless times who are going through hard times. You know, observant, I shouldn't even say observant, Jews, people of faith often feel a crisis when they're going through a hard time. One of the things they struggle with is the relationship with God. And now they're angry, they're disappointed, they're frustrated with Hashem. But not only do they feel those feelings, then they beat themselves up for having the feelings. How could I, I'm a believer? I have faith, I'm a religious person and personality. How could I be angry at God? Isn't that heresy? How could I be disappointed, how could I challenge, how could I protest? So I always say it's a story I learned long ago about a Holocaust survivor who died, I didn't know her, but I was doing the funeral because I knew her children, and when I asked was she an observant, a religious woman, her son-in-law told me she didn't practice but she was one of the most religious people I know. Now I've heard that a lot. So I said, well, what do you mean? He said she was angry at God, she had lost everything in the Holocaust and she was always angry at God. And I thought to myself that's a model of a religious personality? That's his evidence? But he explained. He said you see, you're not angry at someone or something you don't believe is real. You're not angry or disappointed in a figment of your imagination. You're not angry or frustrated with something that doesn't exist. The very presence of an anger, and an anger on the level of what you would direct to a parent who has failed you. What do you mean Mom and Dad you didn't protect me? What do you mean you abandoned me? What do you mean you allowed me to be hurt? What do you mean you allowed me to experience that pain? When a person channels the level of disappointment and frustration you'd have with a parent towards God, that in fact is an expression of faith, not the opposite of it. Because what you're proving is you believe in God, you expected from God, you want to connect with God. Now if you use all of that as the pretext to run away, if you use it as a pretext to abandon a relationship with him, then we got a problem. But if you use that to nurture a relationship, if every day you tell God why you're upset at him, I would hope there are other components to the relationship too, I would hope there're things to be grateful for, but it means that what you are affirming is that God is not a figment of imagination, that God is not some some fantasy. God is real, so real that you have feelings, expectations, frustrations. So I share that specifically during Corona. I say we have friends who are joining who some I haven't seen in a while, welcome back, it's good to have you, friends who are here every week, people are going through a hard time. They're going through a hard time. Some financially are in crisis in Corona, obviously businesses have been tremendously affected and impacted, people's income has been affected. But even those who have not materially been impacted are lonely or isolated. We have loved ones who are suffering, loved ones in decline mentally and physically. We're struggling with relationships, with children, with loneliness, with infertility. There's all kinds of struggles. So you can channel that into feeling frustrated with God and then angry at yourself for feeling it, or you can be frustrated and use that to grow your emunah. So that every day say God here are a hundred things I'm so grateful for, but I gotta tell you what I'm frustrated, what I wish you would do differently. I gotta tell, isn't that what prayer really is? Isn't tefillah, Hashem, here's my protest? What, what is refaeinu in the Amidah? What is the paragraph about healing if not a protest? That one is sick, I'm protesting it. This one is struggling, I'm protesting it, make them better. Now you're the God of gods, you're the king of kings, you're the omnipotent infinite one, in the end of the day I defer to I submit to you, I surrender to you. But if you're asking my opinion, here's how I would run things. Here's what I'm protesting. Here's what my suggestion box to you, God. Here's what I would do differently. So what is prayer if not a series of protests? Prayer is praise, it's requests, but at times protests. Meaning I'm protesting that they're sick, I'm protesting they're suffering, I'm protesting they're struggling. Does that drive me further from God? No, it draws me closer to him. To deveikus, to clinging, to sticking, to connecting to God. Because when I pour out my heart and my cry my eyes and I channel all my feelings of why is that person or why am I going through what I'm going through and I wish and want it to be so different, then I'm not driven further, I'm driven closer. And it means you're not just a checklist, you're not just someone in theory, you don't exist in the abstract, you're not a figment of my imagination or a fantasy. You're real. And how do you know if someone's real? Do you talk to them? Do you make time for them? That's the greatest evidence, the ultimate affirmation that they are real. So incorporating that even into our emuna exercise is not only legitimate, it's not only okay, it's important. Now I'm not telling you that if you're happy and grateful you should find things to protest about, but again, isn't that what prayer is? I'm protesting coronavirus, I'm protesting Iran's ascent, I'm protesting Israel's enemies, I'm protesting about the people I know who are sick. Hashem, I'm protesting, I'm asking you to do things differently. I'm expressing my frustration and I want to get closer to you through that feeling, not be further away. So number one is emuna. I can't cling to and I'm not going to have deveikus with someone who I don't know exists. So how do I achieve emuna? He'emanti ki adaber. If I speak a lot about God, if I speak to God, Baruch Hashem, Im Yirtzeh Hashem, Chasdei Hashem, with God's help, please God, thank God, if I invoke God like Yosef HaTzadik. Whatever struggles we have in life, they are unlikely as bad as Yosef. 12 years languishing alone in prison, struggling, suffering, 22 years apart from his father, from his family, falsely accused, thrown in a pit, left to die, sold to slavery. Yosef had a rough life. Rough, rough life. But he was able to reflect on all of it and say this was the hand of God orchestrating and organizing it to bring me to where I am, number one. And number two, to never stop invoking God. Please God, thank God, with God's help, if God wills, to invoke God's name at every turn with every possibility because He'emanti ki adaber, the more I talk about God, the more I will see him, the more I will feel him, the more I will stick to him, the more I will rely on him, the more I will attach myself and glue myself to him. That was all number one. Number two we talked about was hisbonenus, that we have to make time to think. So much noise, you have to be able to make time to think, to exist, to be, to breakthrough. Breakthroughs don't happen in a crowded space, breakthroughs don't happen in a noisy brain, breakthrough happens when we think, when we make time to be, when we are able to be contemplative and reflective and thoughtful. All words which are out of vogue and people don't make time for now. But we turn the radio on and the phone is buzzing and beeping and vibrating and the TV's always playing and everything's always going. Do we ever just take a deep breath and disconnect and turn everything on airplane mode and just be and just think? 'Cause that's where breakthrough happens. So you want to talk about clinging to God, what about if you never think about God? If you're always running, running, running, and you have motion sickness instead of momentum and instead of being able to be mindful of that which matters, we are simply playing defense and putting out fires to whatever's thrown our way. Our inbox becomes our to-do list, then you'll never make time for God. How could you cling to someone you never make time for? How can you feel an intimate connection with someone who you never reflect about? So number two was hisbonenus, person has to be thoughtful, reflective, contemplative. Which brings us up to number three, and that's where we start today. זמן מובחר לזכות לקנות דביקות הוא, when is the most propitious, auspicious time to be able to cling to God? When is the part in the day designated for you to stick to God? So we spoke last Shabbos, the drasha last Shabbos morning I mentioned the הלוואי שיתפלל כל היום כולו, the notion that we should be davening the whole day. And we talk about this all the time in this group, you've heard me say it a thousand times every Wednesday morning. I in fact can't believe you're back. I just keep saying the same thing every single week. I'm saying it out loud to myself, I'm shocked anybody's listening, but I guess we all need to be reminded, so I thank you from the bottom of my heart for being here. So I've said it a million times. Davening's not just from the siddur and davening's not just in shul. Boy have we learned that these last eight, nine months. It's not just in shul from the siddur with a chazzan. Davening's from our heart, but davening's with our own words. So you daven on the way into the boardroom and the operating room and the courtroom, you daven when you put the The *kugel* in the oven, you put the kid to sleep. You *daven* when you are in the gym and the supermarket. We *daven* with every activity we do. *Hashem* let this be successful. *Hashem* let this stream work and the technology not break down. Let the words flow from my lips. Let the *kugel* rise and cook perfectly. Let my child fall asleep and get the growth and the rest that they need. Let the conversation go, let the negotiation be successful. Let whatever, it's a moment, it's a millisecond of time. It's just a spark of a thought to *Hashem* that not only am I living in the here and now with whomever I'm negotiating with, or whoever is the doctor, or relying on GE and the oven making my *kugel* come out, but with every single thing I do, every single thing I do, *Hashem* I'm also invoking and thinking about you. I'm thinking about you. So *davening*, we *daven* really all day long, but specifically we *daven* in the morning, the afternoon, and the evening. *Avraham Avinu* taught us that we start our day with *davening*. The beginning of a new day, optimism, hope, faith, promise. The sun has risen and with it we turn to God and say there is so much possibility in this day. I'm turning to you. *Mincha's* the middle of the day. God I'm in the middle of my day with chaos and hustle and bustle and busyness, and yet I'm making time and finding time to connect to you, a little bid for connection, a quick connection, because as the winds have set me off course I need to drop that anchor called *Mincha*. And I need to reconnect to you and remind myself of what matters. In fact, it's called *Mincha*. *Mincha* in Hebrew means a gift because it's the gift I give. It's the gift I'm giving you, God. It's the gesture, it's the bid for connection even in the middle of a busy day. And *Maariv* is at night. *Yaakov* taught us *Maariv*. *Yaakov* said at the end of a day, now there's no longer any sun, there's no longer any illumination or brightness, there's no longer any path to know. It's no longer filled with hope and possibility. The day's over, maybe it was squandered, maybe it didn't go the way I had hoped, maybe it was filled with a lot of hurt and pain. And even under the cloak of darkness, God, I can *daven* *Maariv*. *Maariv* is the *davening*, the *emuna*, the faith, even in darkness, the faith even when it's hard to see where you are or why things are happening the way they are. So says *Reb Itche Meir*, when is the time to work on, to exercise, to build our *deveikus* muscle? When we're *davening*. בית התפילה והלימוד וקיום המצוות. In other words, during... this should come as a real surprise to you, right? During religious activities, you should be thinking about God. Now why does *Reb Itche Meir* have to say that? While you're *davening*, or you're learning *Torah*, or you're doing a *mitzvah*, don't forget to think about God. Why does he have to say that? He has to say that because sadly, so sadly, how many of us have lived lifestyles of doing *mitzvot*, even *davening*, learning *Torah*, by rote, by habit? We're automated, automons, we're just, we're just going. So we finish *davening*, we close the *siddur*, but we don't even remember one moment that we actually felt we were in the presence of the Almighty, that we were surrendering to him, that we were pleading with him, that we were grateful to him, that we had a conversation with him. So we walk out, we've gone through the motions, externally, physically, superficially. We're putting check, I learned the *Daf Yomi*, or I did my *Nach Yomi*, or check, I listened to that class, it was playing in the background while I was doing something else. Check, check next to *davening*, check I sat in the *sukkah*, check I lit the candles, check I put on the *tefillin*. Check, check, check, check, check, I'm a check-Jew. Not from the Czech Republic, but I'm a check-Jew that I'm a Jew who lives off a checklist. I'm a checklist Jew. Check, check, check, now I can go to the stuff I really wanted to. Mahjong, tennis, golf, hit the buffet and Netflix. And check, check, check, God, took care of you, took care of you. I also had to take care of the kids, so I did the laundry and the shopping and I cooked dinner. I wasn't really thinking about the kids when I did any of that, it was just check, check, check, I have to do it. So God, you're like one of my kids, you're just on my checklist, you're just a burden and a responsibility I bear. So check, check, check, check, check. No, no, these religious activities are bids for connection. They're not just check, they're not just check, check, check. They are, *Hashem* I thought about you. I connected with you. I interrupted my busy day to be able to make a connection with you. We have become such creatures of habit and rote. We're just doing things out of pre-programming instead of being present, instead of being mindful. You know, I'd like to, on my website, the subtitle, which probably means only something to me and nobody else, but I put it there, which captures every class I give, every *drasha* I give, every article I write, everything that I'm trying to live let alone communicate is towards a meaningful and mindful Jewish life. That's it. That's it. I think kids graduate twelve years of Jewish education, they know a whole lot of *Chumash* and *Navi*, they've memorized some *Gemara*, they know what we call the *yediot klaliyot*, they know the main principles, but have they nurtured a relationship with God? Are they living... living a more meaningful and mindful Jewish life. Will that carry them, inform them, and inspire them in their next chapter of life, be it at college, be it in marriage, be it in their profession of their choice? That's what we're here for. That's what all this is about. It's a platform on the list of books that are unwritten in my head, but one day I want to get to is that book towards a mindful and meaningful Jewish life that shows that the entire system of Jewish living from when we wake up in the morning and say Modeh Ani till we say Shema while we fall asleep. And everything in between from the order we tie our shoes, what goes in our mouth and out of our mouth, keeping Kosher, keeping Shabbos, our awareness of time, interpersonal relationships, every aspect of Jewish life and living is all a platform to promote a meaningful and mindful Jewish life. Only we've begun to do it by habit and by nature and we forget to actually live it mindfully and meaningfully and we just live it. Check, check, check, check, check. Instead of being present and invested and engaged and transformed and informed and inspired by everything we're doing. So number three of Dveikus. You want to cling to God, you want a relationship, you want a connection with him, then you gotta invite him and involve him when you're doing the very activities that are supposed to be about him. אם יעשה אותם מתוך חיפוש קשר אמיתי עם השם יתברך. You have to do them as part of a longing and a yearning, as part of an effort to be able to create a connection with Hashem. We're making a Kesher. You know I have a daughter in Israel, I have my marrieds in Israel, but I have a daughter in her year in Israel and she's my third who's gone to Israel for the year, all have gone to the same wonderful place. So there's a language, not only seminary girls, Yeshiva guys, when you're in that stage of life when you're a year in Israel, they'll talk about Abba this teacher, the girls, let's not blame the boys for this, the girls, Abba this teacher, he's amazing and I'm trying so hard to build a Kesher with him. He's so amazing, he's amazing, then they'll throw in some inappropriate, not my daughter, but they'll say he's the cutest, I love him, he's a Mush, he's amazing. No, they don't say that, well they shouldn't say that, but they do always say he's amazing. That's what every Rabbi and teacher in a seminary strives for is they don't want to be among the most influential Jews or people's most beautiful people, they want to be called amazing. He's amazing. And then that continues with and I'm trying to make a Kesher with them. What does that mean I'm trying to make a Kesher? A Kesher means a connection, so what does that mean you need their email address? Want the cell phone number? WhatsApp? What do you mean you're making a Kesher? A Kesher means that I don't want to go through this year and just be a member of their class, I want a connection. I want them to know me, I want them to know what makes me tick, and I want access to them. I want to go behind the scenes with them. I want to understand them. I want a relationship. I want to be able to confide and rely and connect. I want a Kesher. That's the feeling we should have with Hashem. Not only that he's amazing and he's awesome as in Yirah, if we have awe of him and he's cute and adorable and a Mush and all those things Hashem is. Hashem is amazing, I want a Kesher with him. I want a Kesher with Hashem because I want him to know me, I want to know him. I want to be able to confide and be vulnerable. I want to connect. I want a Kesher with Hashem. How do you make that Kesher? Well, Emunah, Hisbonenus, being contemplative and now Torah, Tefillah and Mitzvos. When you're doing, here's a novel suggestion, you ready? When you're doing religious things, think about God. So when you light in the candles, don't just be yelling at your kids and is everything ready and did you turn the light off the fridge and להדליק נר של שבת and I lit and check, check, check, but take a couple deep breaths and disconnect from the weekday and think about Hashem and dream of serenity and pray for your family and try to transform the atmosphere of the home to a place of peace and yearn to connect to the shepherd who's your best friend. And now light the candles and say God, you are the light of the world. God, you illuminate the world. God, I'm thinking about you. When you're putting on the Tefillin. How many men have been putting on Tefillin for decades and decades and decades? And they're just two, four, six, seven, done, strapped, strapped it on, looked in the mirror between the eyes, good to go. But have you thought about what the Tefillin are? I'm binding them to me and through that I'm binding me to you, God. I'm taking cowhide, I'm taking an animal, every part of the Tefillin is made of an animal. From the Klaf the parchment to the ink to the veins, the sinews that are used to tie it, to the leather straps, it all comes from an animal. So God, I've taken the most base lowly thing, an animal that you created, and I'm using it as a vehicle to connect to you. We can transform the physical to be spiritual. I'm tying this around myself, I am binding myself to you, God. Connecting to you. I've got a solar dish on my arm and one on my head and I'm picking up the signal to connect to you. How many people pause and think about that when putting tefillin on? How many people even when learning Torah, at the end of learning the daf or the halacha or whatever they're learning say, how does knowing that if one ox gored another ox who has to pay, God, how does that connect me to you? How does knowing your blueprint for your world, what you think is righteous and just for your world, what you think should be the law that governs our world, how does that connect me to you? He imposed upon us, and I don't mean that in the negative pejorative way, but he provided us, he gifted us, a lifestyle from when we wake up to we fall asleep. Again, beginning with how I tie my shoes in the morning and I wash my hands and I say God, I have shoes to wear, thank you. Hamachin mitzadei gaver. God, I woke up, hanoten lasechvi vina. I have the ability to wake up in the morning and know it's day. Pokeach ivrim, God I can see. Just the mindfulness with the gift, there are fifteen brachot, Birchot Hashachar, go back to the beginning of Sidur snippets and you can start listening and you'll think about Birchot Hashachar totally differently. Asher Yatzar, which we've talked about endlessly about going to the bathroom. I have countless and endless opportunities during the day to think about and connect with you, even within what we call the mundane secular activities, making the kugel, negotiating the deal, going to the gym, but specifically or certainly within the religious activities to think about God. And that the religious activities were given to us, why were they given to us? God says be careful with what goes in your mouth and make a bracha before and after. And there are all kinds of rules about everything. Oh, you're going shopping? You can't buy clothing that has shatnez. You can't buy wool and linen mixed together. Why? Because I want you to think about me while you're shopping. I want you to think about me while you're at the mall. I want you to be mindful and present and cognizant when you're choosing what to wear and what it says about you. Even then I want you to think about me. I want you to think about me. That's halacha. That's Judaism. That's the platform, a mindful and meaningful Jewish life. I got to write this book one day. So he continues, Rav Itche Meir. והמסייע להיכנס למדרגה הזו היא. And you know what's something that's very helpful that propels you to live this level of mindfulness? ישקע בתוכם וידבק בהם באופן כזה שיחליט וירגיש שאין לו עכשיו שום עניין אחר בעולם חוץ מהמצווה הזו או הלימוד הזה. So Rav Itche Meir throws in now a second obvious point. And I say that not to denigrate him, but I say that because it is obvious and yet we need to hear it. That is how lowly and pathetic we are, is that even that which is most obvious we most neglect and we forget. And what is it? So number one was, don't forget to be religious during religious activity. Number one was, don't forget to think about and connect to and bind yourself to God while you're doing something God asked you to do. Number one. Number two is, try not to be doing anything else while you're doing it. Try to really be there. Heyei sham. One of my favorite Divrei Torah. One of my favorites is when God calls Moshe on top of the mountain to give him the Torah. He says Alei elai hahara, ascend the mountain, v'heyei sham and be there. What do you mean be there if he climbed the mountain, where else is he? And several say what God was telling Moshe is I know at the base of the mountain you've got two million people. They're emailing and texting and calling and WhatsApping you. I know you have so many noble and important things that you need to be doing, but you know what? When you climb the mountain, heyei sham, be there, be with me. Don't be distracted. Couples go out to dinner and you see them on other sides of the table and each one of them is looking down and their thumbs are moving. And you know what their diary is going to say, you know what their Outlook calendar, their Google calendar's going to say? We had dinner Tuesday night. But they didn't. You know who they had dinner with? Their whole contact list. You know who they had dinner with? The whole WhatsApp app. That's who they had dinner with, not the person sitting in the opposite seat. You go to the park and the mother, the father are pushing the child in the swing, but they're busy looking at the phone or talking on the phone, or their mind is somewhere else and they think check, spent time with the kid, pushed them on the swing, had the catch, check, but you didn't, because if you weren't thinking about that child, what they mean to you and how much you love them and how connected you are to them, then you weren't connect- then you didn't connect with them, then you weren't there to them. I was putting Shaya to sleep last night, my little son. So he's eight years old and probably every day for eight years I've said to him, I can't believe you're here. Baruch Hashem we're beyond blessed from God, we have six daughters, and I was always grateful I never would have needed more, and even if I never had a son, God has been exceedingly kind and good to me. So when we had the son that never expected and felt so blessed by and it's a whole other story because we were actually told that it was a girl, not a boy, so I've said to him for eight straight years, every day for eight years, I cannot believe you're here. So I was putting him to sleep last night and I said I cannot believe you're here and he asked me if when he gets married I'll walk him down the aisle, I'll be telling him still then I can't believe you're here. Will I still be saying I can't believe you're here? The point is, I was putting him to bed, so you could lie in bed and be like check, read a book to him or got him in bed or knocked him unconscious or packed in the melatonin and did what it takes. to get him out cold, check, now I can go on with what I want to do. Now I can get into bed or turn on my iPad or draw my warm bath or go out and have my scotch and cigar, check check check and now I turn to me, or while you're putting your kid to bed, be connected to your kid. While you're at dinner with your spouse, there's nothing in the world but your spouse. And while you're doing a mitzvah there's nothing but God. You're never going to get to a level and a lifestyle of deveikus if you mail in mitzvos. If they are a burden and a checklist. If you are not fully present, if you're not mindful, if it's not meaningful. So, it's hard. It's hard. And let me pause a moment to say that what I'm suggesting, what Rav Itche Meir is suggesting is not easy. It's not easy. Because there are, thank God, many mitzvos a day. Many, many mitzvos a day. The good news is they come in small bites. They come in little increments. So they're really little mini-blitz moments of needing to concentrate. Little bits for connection. So, you make the Asher Yatzar, you make the bracha before the cup of coffee. Davening Shacharis definitely takes a little bit longer. But the few moments it takes to put on your tefillin, the few moments to light the candles, the few moments to do whatever mitzvah you're about to do. If you're doing the mitzvah already, then make it meaningful, then be mindful, because you want to get closer, you want a connection, you want a sense of intimacy. You're not just mailing it in, you're not just writing check. שכל מילה שאדם מתפלל ולומד, every word that you daven and learn, הוא יכול להדבק בהשם יתברך, every word of davening and every word of learning, and every moment of listening to learning and participating, is an ability to draw closer and closer and closer. עד שיזכה להרגיש את האור האלוקי and the goal is to live a life where you see the light. You see the light. Now again, I don't want to scare anybody that doesn't sound like a Jewish thing, Do you see the light? Join me and see the light! But or Eloki is a Jewish concept. God is a light. And when you see the light, so you don't see a cup of coffee, you see God. And you don't see a flower or a plant or a vista, you see God. And you don't see a beach or an ocean, you see God. And when you see a child, or you see another person, you see a survivor, you don't see a human being, you see God. And when you see a car that can drive by itself, you don't see a car you see God. And when you see everything, you see God, the light, the or Eloki, to live with that level of mindfulness. He's everywhere. And I feel so connected. And I just want to draw close. That is the mission, that is the goal, that is the goal. והדביקות בתורה הקדושה היא היא הדביקות בהשם יתברך, the closer you cling to Torah, the closer you're clinging to God. You know why? Because that is His diary. Somebody a dear friend of mine actually texted me a couple days ago, his father died very young, he was a kid in high school, but he's moving and he was going through some things and he found a couple birthday cards that his father had written him. And he couldn't stop crying, this is a person who doesn't cry, but he couldn't stop crying. Why? He didn't bring his father back to life. His father wasn't resurrected from the dead. He misses his father terribly. But you know what? When he accessed something his father wrote, when he accessed his father's card, if you access your parent or your grandparent's diary, their artwork, their gift, then you've connected to them. When you connect to their penmanship, I don't know how we're going to do this in the future. We're going to go through the email archive to connect to something our parent typed? It's a whole other world. You remember when there were correspondence? That's why it's still important to write cards and to keep them in a shoebox and for the next generation to know that my parents wrote love letters to one another. They loved each other. They loved each other enough to write it out instead of typing it. They loved each other enough to make it personal. But anyway, he looked at this card and he felt so connected. He was with his father, his father did come back to life by connecting to his father's penmanship and what he wrote and what he underlined in the card and what he conveyed. So similarly, lihavdil, when we study Hashem's Torah we're studying His card to us. We're studying His penmanship. We're studying His words, we're studying His thoughts, we're studying what He wanted to communicate. And that creates a connection. So the deveikus, clinging and connecting to His Torah is clinging and connecting to Him. כי הם אחד ממש, it's the same thing, כי אורו יתברך נמצא בעצמו בתוך התורה הקדושה והוא פנימיותה. Hashem's light is found most, it's found in the Grand Canyon, Swiss Alps, it's found in the Golan and the Galil, it's found on Har HaBayis, Hashem's light is found in all these places, but you know where it's found brightest, it burns brightest in His Torah. If we study His Torah and we see the nuance and we decipher and we offer our own suggestion and we're blown away and we're moved by an idea and we're inspired and we're elevated and we're enriched, we have accessed the light of Torah. It's shining now down on us. וככל שמרבה בלימוד ברציפות והתמדה, so the more that we learn, that we daven, and we do so without interruption and without distraction and without noise, with a sense of diligence, be'iyun, with real depth and analysis and investigation, with real curiosity and inquisitiveness, u'v'deveikus, with a real effort to connect. cling to it, כך יעמיק להחיות את מציאות הרוחניות, we will deepen our reality, our being a spiritual person. You cannot be an ignoramus and be spiritual. You can't. At the root of the word spiritual is spirit. You have to have a spirit. You have to be alive, you have to be vibrant, you have to be dynamic, you have to be awake, and you have to be knowledgeable. You have to study who is God and what matters to him, and what is his vision and blueprint for the world, and what is his expectation of me. And absent all of that, how could I, how could I have a relationship with you? You don't see a picture of someone in a magazine and you're like, I love them, I feel connected to them. You know, you lust for them maybe, but you don't love them, you don't feel connected, because you know nothing about them. If you read a profile on them and you say, wow, now I know what makes them tick and boy would I love to be connected. I want a kesher with them because they're amazing, because I've come to learn a little bit about them, then maybe. But the more you learn, the more you know, the more drawn you'll be, the more you'll want to connect, the more you want the kesher. So you can't create a kesher, you can't be davuk, you can't cling to God without trying to grow in knowing about him. So what are you learning? You come to the emuna shiur, great. What else are you learning? How else are you challenging yourself? What other book, are you studying the parsha, or are you relying on your kindergarten teacher who told you the parsha stories, but you haven't updated or become more sophisticated in your understanding of the parsha since then? Do you mumble the words of the siddur so you can put a check and close, or do you study the words? Shameless plug for siddur snippets, but if not that, then something else that says, I'm going to study and understand and comprehend what I'm saying. Because if I'm already making the time and already making the effort to say it, it might as well make me feel closer, it might as well let me feel I'm communicating with another, with someone else. So Reb Shmaya is saying what's, on the one hand, fairly obvious, but on the other, we so desperately need to be reminded and told over and over and over again, which is, when you're doing religious activities, be religious. Think about God. Don't be distracted, don't have noise, don't do other things. Be present. Recalibrate. Focus. Take a few deep breaths, neshama, neshima, and reconnect. Sha'as hadlakas like candles, just take a moment and let me get into where I need to be because I'm lighting the shabbos candles. You know, you don't just want to light shabbos candles. You want the shabbos candles to light up your house. So the difference between lighting candles and the candles lighting up your house is you, is you. If you just light the candles, check, done, now I can hit the couch with my magazine till shul's over, till davening's ended, done, got that out of the way, then your house can remain a dark place. Then your soul remains a dark soul. But if you take a few moments and take a few breaths and you think about God, my week that was, my hope for this shabbos and the week that will be, and the people who live in my home or have graduated my home, but they're on my mind, and God, my relationship with you, the source of all light, please, you God, the source of all light, illuminate my eyes and illuminate my world and illuminate this home and this family. Wow. What a different candle lighting that is on a Friday night. And it's true for every mitzvah. It's true for every mitzvah that we do. It's our mission, it's our mandate towards a mindful and meaningful Jewish life will be on bookshelves near you sometime, I hope in this century, if I can find the courage and the wisdom and the time and the worthiness to be able to put it together. But to me, it's missing. It's missing from our education, children and adults. We have such an emphasis on the minutia and the details, all of which are really important, but because they are our platform. And it's so different, I'll end by telling you this, it's so different, for example, from something like taking medicine. So the doctor says you have this illness, you've been diagnosed with this problem. Great, take 3000 milligrams of this a day, 200 milligrams of that a day. So when you're swallowing the pills, do you need to think about the doctor? No. When you're swallowing the pills, do you need to think about the biotech or pharmaceutical company that invented it? No. When you're swallowing the pills, do you need to think about the ingredients in the pills and be mindful and meaningful what the pills are doing for you? No. Just take the pills because you got a problem, pills are going to make you better and maybe you're curious, you'll be a more informed person if you learn a little bit about the chemistry behind the pills, but you don't need to in order for the pills to take their effect on you. But that is so different than mitzvos, spiritual medicine, spiritual nutrition and nourishment. To the degree to which we're mindful and it's meaningful, we're transformed. And so if not me, somebody's got to put this message out there that the reason we're engaging in all of this is not to restrict our lives, it's not to give up or sacrifice in our lives, but it's in fact to propel and promote the most meaningful and mindful lives, something all of us crave because that's the greatest joy and satisfaction we're capable of. More than the things and the possessions and even the experiences is the meaning, the meaning that we are all looking for, the meaning that we all want to find. So until next time, have a meaningful and mindful Jewish life. Stay happy, stay healthy, stay holy. See you soon. See you tonight 9:00 going behind the Bimah with Jay Feinberg, CEO and founder of Gift of Life, who has saved countless lives. He is an exceedingly humble person who has an extraordinary story. Very excited to go behind the Bimah with him tonight 9:00 PM. Have a phenomenal, phenomenal day.
