Transcript
Good morning and welcome back to our weekly living with emuna shiur, our emuna support group, our weekly reminder should be a daily and hourly, a minute-by-minute reminder that we don't live life by ourselves, but we have Hashem by our side. The Almighty is guarding, the Almighty is guiding and supporting and lifting us each and every moment. I want to thank our generous sponsors, Doctors Avi and Bella Morgan, who sponsored the living with emuna shiur in memory of Rabbi Doctor Brian Galbut and Doctor Ellen Chanzes. Thank you so much for your generosity and your sponsorship. This morning's class is also sponsored by Doctor Sol and Carol Kahn in commemoration of the yahrzeit of Carol's beloved parents, Abe Amdusky and Bluma Gordon Amdusky. The neshamas should have an aliyah. Thank you so much to our dear friends the Kahns. And a reminder, if you'd like to sponsor a future particular shiur, you can email Lee at brsonline.org, lee@brsonline.org. Okay, last week we began a new sefer, a magnificent sefer, B'Yam Derechcha, which is by Rav Itche Meir Morgenstern, and we began the section on deveikus. How do we cling to God? How do we stick with God no matter the circumstances, no matter the challenge, no matter what we're going through? How do we ensure that God is by our side? That we don't fail to remember that He's there? That we don't forget that He's part of our life? How do we make sure to remember that in fact He is responsible, that in fact He is guiding everything that is happening? How do we achieve that? Deveikus, to cling. The root of the word deveikus is devek, is glue. How do we glue ourselves to God? How do we stick with Him in all circumstances and at all times? How do we cling to and stick with God always? So we read the introduction last time that spoke about deveikus, clinging to God as a fundamental principle, as a driving force in our lives, as animating everything. All the mitzvos that we do, all the commandments that we fulfill, it's all there as a platform to remember that we're not alone, that we shouldn't inflate with arrogance to think that we are responsible for our success, and nor should we panic or be overly anxious with fear to think of what can happen in our future. But rather, as much as we take hishtadlus, we take our initiative, we make our efforts, we do all that's within our power, but simultaneously, at the same time we defer, at the same time we submit to the Almighty. We cling to Him, we stick with Him, we know that He's in the room with us. He's with us wherever and whenever we are. That is our mission, that is our mandate, that is our challenge, and that is what we're trying to achieve. And he mentioned in the book, we said last week, how many people, bnei aliyah, people who are striving, spiritually ambitious and aspirational, who pray and who learn and who work on their qualities, their middos, and yet with all of that, God is absent. He's not in the conversation. He's not there. We're not clinging to him. What a mistake. I wrote an article I published yesterday about this election, not espousing a position, in fact entirely against that, why as a rabbi I will never tell you who you need to vote for. But at the end I said what's absent from the conversation that I find so deeply disturbing, even among people of great faith, is inserting God into the conversation. People speak with such certitude, such certainty, how they know the next four years will be if their candidate wins or loses. I too feel strongly about the candidate that I believe will bring about the policies that I think are most important. I care a lot about it. I've tried to persuade the people I think are persuadable in my family, never letting it get between us. But you know when all said and done, you have to have humility. If these last eight months of Corona has taught us anything, it's how little we know and how little we're in control of and how little we can predict and how little we can be so overly confident about. So where is God in the room? Shlomo HaMelech tells us לב מלכים ביד השם, the heart of kings is in the hand of God. You know, the election results will not just be the will of the people, the election results ultimately are the will of the Creator. הרבה שלוחים יש למקום, God has many messengers and God has many agents and we have no idea why God chooses whom He chooses to be that agent or messenger to bring about a result that we all want and that we all would look forward to. And so we can't be overly confident and we certainly shouldn't be overly arrogant to think that we know what's best or we know with certitude. We should assert our opinion. But deveikus. After we submit our vote, after we've tried to persuade the people within our sphere, then recognize, where is God in that conversation? Where is emuna and faith in the conversation? Where is the submission that I'm finite and He's infinite, that He knows best and I will cling to Him whatever the outcome is, it is what is meant to be and somehow it is what He has determined is best and is right? That's what it means deveikus. It means deveikus when I'm in a difficult circumstance, it means deveikus in a moment of great joy and celebration and realize and thank Him. How many people go through extraordinary success or triumph? How many people have their prayers answered and they move on to the next prayer without pausing to say thank you, that worked out? Thank you that came to be. Thank you for all the good in my life. I'm going to cling to you and stick with you and I'm going to thank you and appreciate you and acknowledge you and see you in the good times and in the bad times in all of those moments what it means to be deveikus. Okay, so let's begin. And I know you don't have the text in front of you. I apologize. You're all welcome to order the sefer on the internet. It does not appear in the English. But we'll read it together because I want to tap into his beautiful, beautiful words of Itche Meir Morgenstern. It is so, so powerful. He says the following: והנה דבקות היא שם כללי לכל מדריגות ההרגשה באלוקות. Deveikus, the notion or the name to cling to God, is the generic name that describes this attribute of feeling a connection, of feeling His presence, of being relieved or being empowered, of being strengthened. והיא המצב שהאדם חי את השם יתברך ומחובר אליו. It's the idea that God is a living God. God is not the person I read about in books. God's not part of ancient history. God's not just dictating law. God is not a subject in the abstract. He is Elokim Chayim. He is a living God. He lives and he breathes with me and through me wherever and whenever I am, in whatever circumstance I find myself, He is a living God. I don't leave him behind when I close the siddur. I don't leave him behind when I close the sefer. I don't leave him behind when I leave the religious context of a shul or the beis medrash. But God is Elokim Chayim. He's with me at the gym and the supermarket. He's with me in my office. He's with me in the kitchen, the dining room, the bedroom. He's with me. He's Elokim Chayim. He is there when I feel like I'm falling down, he lifts me up. And when I feel like I'm overly successful and taking too much credit, he keeps me humble. When I'm ready to give up, he shows me support. He's not a God that's in the abstract. He's not theoretical or philosophical. He is Elokim Chayim. He is with me wherever and whenever I go. He's with me all the time. Umchubar elav and I am attached to him. I want to tell you one of the things that gives me great chizuk, one of the things that gives me great strength is when you, the wonderful talmidim, talmidos, when you, the wonderful friends that we learn with together on Wednesday mornings, when you reach out and email or share a emunah moment in your life. And when you tell me about, and I take no credit for this because we're learning texts that are authored by other great rabbis, I'm just blessed to be the one who's able to share it with you. And when you tell me how it helped you, it has an enormously positive impact on me. So one of my dear friends, someone who is family and who I love was telling me yesterday, she has significant back problems and needed an MRI. And you get in that MRI machine, you might as well be put in a straitjacket. They might as well bury you in a coffin. If you've ever had an MRI, you know the experience, certainly if you have any, what's the fear of closed spaces, but if you have a phobia, it is difficult to slide into that MRI machine with very little room. Then not only are you in this enclosed space, but the jackhammering, the sound that you're on a construction, you're not on, you're under a construction site. It is overwhelming. So she told me just yesterday that as she was on lying on that really uncomfortable metal board and it was sliding back into the MRI machine, she thought about our emunah shiurim. she thought about all of our learning. And she said to herself: Hashem, please come in the machine with me. Lie down next to me. Be in here with me. And I know that if you're by my side and I know that if you're in here with me, then I'll be just fine. Then I can take the closed space and then I can withstand the sound and I know I'll be over just fine. And it worked. Instead of the heart rate increasing, instead of panicking, instead of an anxious reaction, deep breath, calm. Hashem, I know that this is the right thing. And what a miracle there's an MRI machine that can see right through me and help me find the problem and help me fix it. And what a gift, and thank you so much for that invention. But you know what? This is really uncomfortable and inconvenient and if you don't mind, could you come in here with me? And if you're in here with me and I am not alone, I have no doubt that I'll be able to do it. And she did. Those messages, they inspire me and they motivate me and I hope they do you too, because that's what it means in Elokim Chayim. The Elokim Chayim is not just that Wednesday mornings when the shiur is over, I leave him behind. He's on the recording, he's in the book, he's in the Zoom room, on YouTube, Facebook, he's wherever we left him. He's Elokim Chayim. He's in the MRI machine. He's in the boardroom. He's in the courtroom. He's in the operating room. He's even in the bedroom. He's in every room of our lives. He's Elokim Chayim. He's alive. אבל באמת יש בזה מדריגות רבות. But even within this notion of deveikus, even within this idea and even within this mission of living a life of attaching ourselves and clinging to God, there are different levels. מדריגת הדבקות היסודית היא, the foundational, the core level of what it means to attach ourselves, to live with glue, to stick with God, hargasha shel nocha, is the feeling that he's nocha, he's present. We learned this a little bit, we saw a piece by Rav Wolbe together as a group earlier. We say, שפכי כמים לבך נכח פני השם in Eichah, the navi tells us, Hashem let me pour out my heart שפכי כמים לבך נכח פני השם. My mission, my goal is to live my life nocha. Nocha means opposite. That you are opposite me. You're opposite me always. You're not only opposite me when I'm in front of the ark, the aron kodesh. You're not only opposite me when the Torah's open and being read. You're not only opposite me when I feel there's accountability. You are opposite me, you're nocha. This feeling that you're ever present, you're alive and you're there. Last week I told you the mashal, I gave you the metaphor, and I mean it, and it's the way I think about it and the way I try to live it. In a healthy marriage, your spouse is not just your spouse when you're in the same room or space or place, your spouse is nocha. They're opposite you. When you're at work and someone's trying to flirt with you or cross boundaries with you, when you are on a business trip or a road trip, when you are experiencing life and you can't wait to share it with someone or you're thinking about how they make you better and how they share their wisdom and their feedback with you as an ezer kenegdo as only a spouse can, they're nocha. It's not a status and it's not a relationship which is limited to when you are in those moments actually together, but you carry that feeling of togetherness, of drawing from their input and of remembering what you want to share and of experiencing the highest highs and the lowest lows, that is the healthiest marriage. And that is our romantic, loving marriage with Hashem. He's nocha, He's with me, He's opposite me, He's ever present and He's always there. דהיינו שמרגיש את השם יתברך עמו. He's with me. ומרגיש חיבור פנימי חזק אתו. I have this inner connection, I have this inner love, עד כדי רצון להיות אחד עמו. And I just want to be together. I just want a hug. I just want a hug. Have you ever needed and felt you wanted to give and receive a hug? Because a hug can communicate things that words can't. A hug can exchange an energy that words can't. A hug can give you a feeling of being assured, of being confident, of being strengthened, of being loved, of being comforted that words can't. Ke'bechinas chibuk he writes, like a hug. Just want a hug with Hashem. Nocha. I don't just want to be opposite Hashem, but I want to be imo, I want a chibuk, I want a hug Hashem. I've shared with you before that it's brought down in sefarim that's the idea one should have when one puts on a tallis in the morning we do so with atifah. We put the tallis over our head, we wrap it around ourselves, we fling the four corners over one shoulder, and you're supposed to remain that way כדי הילוך ד' אמות. The amount of time it takes to walk six feet. And what do you do in that amount of time it takes to walk six feet? It's not just that your mind is racing about the things you have to do that day or you start davening, you're supposed to feel like you're getting a hug from Hashem. The day starts with a hug from Hashem. You're wrapped in that tallis. And I know women don't have the mitzvah to wear tzitzis or a tallis, but you can recreate that feeling in other ways. The sukkah is sitting within the embrace and the hug of Hashem. Wrap yourself in a blanket and feel it's Hashem. It's in our minds, it's a mentality. It's not the mitzvah of tzitzis, be very careful to say. But this notion that sometimes you want to receive, sometimes you want to give, sometimes you want to feel that hug from Hashem. And that hug is the feeling of nocha. It's available, it's accessible to us wherever and whenever we are and whenever we need it. He is nocha, He is opposite, we are imo, we're with Him. זוהי הדבקות התחושה של אדם שהוא יחד עם השם יתברך. This is the feeling that we're supposed to generate within ourselves, that we are together. V'hu margish b'metziuso and we feel His existence. וחי יחד אתו בחיבור וקשר עמוק. There is an inextricable link, there is a tie, our lives are intertwined, we are so deeply connected, there is a profundity, there is a depth to that connection. Again I keep giving the human metaphors because it's the best way that we can relate to it and according to the kabbalists, it's why God gave us all of these different relationships to begin with. He gave us a relationship of a parent and a child, a romantic relationship of a husband and wife, a relationship of a boss and employee, or a relationship of friends, a king, of a servant. All of those are different metaphors at different times at different moments of our lives, all of them are aspects of our relationship with Hashem for us to tap into. And so the deepest relationship, the healthiest marriage, sometimes it can be a friendship. David and Yehonatan. Nafsho kshura b'nafsho, the notion that our souls are intertwined. A yedid nefesh, a friend who is such a close friend, they're a soulmate. Not in a romantic, inappropriate way, but a friend who you have so much in common with, who makes you so much better, who you feel so connected, who you trust with every fiber of your being, that you have this soulmate, a soul connection, a yedid nefesh. God is our ultimate yedid nefesh, God is our ultimate soulmate or soul friend, our souls are intertwined quite literally. Similarly, the connection of a parent and child. You know, children think they love their parents. My oldest child now has a child, ברוך השם בלי עין הרע, my grandson. And she said to me, and it's true, because I've told her whole life, you don't know what love is until you have a child. And those who want children should be blessed to have healthy children, those longing for grandchildren should be blessed to have healthy grandchildren. But you think you know what love is when you're a child towards a parent. You don't know what love is until you have a child. Until your heart bleeds for them when they're in pain, until your heart is on fire when they succeed, until you just desperately care about and think about their well-being, until you give your life you would take a bullet, you'd even change a diaper, when you do anything for them in the world, that's love. That's love. נפשו קשורה בנפשו, חיבור וקשר עמוק. And why do you love that child that way? I've discussed this in other contexts in other times, the great insight of Rav Dessler, that children love parents more than parents could ever love children because parents just give to children and love is the result of giving. But it's more than that. You gave that child the ultimate gift, which is life. Your DNA is what drives that child. You talk about a piece of you in them, they are formed from the pieces in us. And similarly, we are a piece of God, and God loves us and we love him. So there's this חיבור וקשר עמוק that the love towards our children and the love in a healthy marriage of a status that permeates and carries us everywhere and at all times. The depth of those relationships, they pale in comparison to what should be the depth of our relationship with Hashem, that he is with us and we are with him always, that we are nocha'ach opposite him, that we feel his presence, his love, his support, his strength. ואדם שזוכה לזה, and a person who merits this, מדרגתו גבוהה הרבה ממי שחי רק בקבלת עול שהוא אדם שמכיר במציאות השם יתברך וירא ממנו ומקבל על עצמו לעשות את אשר יצוהו. Rabbi Itche Meir says such an important point, that a person who merits to live this level that we're describing, to achieve that, that God is with us always and that I love him and that I feel I'm a piece of him, I know his love, that he's ever-present, that our lives are intertwined, that our souls are connected, that level of living, how much higher is that than the person who simply lives in fear? How many even righteous Jews, how many observant Torah Jews, their whole Judaism is informed by fear? It's the sense that if I don't do the right thing, lightning's going to strike. I have all these dreams and I have all these hopes and I have all these prayers, I want to do well financially, I want to stay healthy, I want this, I want that, and if I make the right move, lightning's going to strike. If I don't do the right thing, it will be taken away from me. That is not the nature of a relationship. Could you imagine if my whole marriage was telling my spouse that, you know, the reason I listen when you ask me to do X, Y, or Z is because otherwise I have this great fear, I'm going to be sleeping on the couch, you're going to throw me out, you're not going to make me dinner, you're not going to talk to me and feel connected, be proud of me, you're not going to unconditionally love me? What kind of a relationship is a relationship that's founded only on fear? A healthy dose of fear is good, a healthy dose of awe is very good, but if that's the totality, if that's the sum total of the relationship, how terrible, how disastrous, how tragic. That's a low level of a relationship. On top of that mutual respect, awe and even healthy fear, needs to be layers of love, of respect, of affection, needs to be layers of deep and profound connection. So Rabbi Itche Meir says how much more important than kabbalas ol, yes, we have to accept the yoke of heaven. Yes, observing God's commandments, Torah and mitzvos and halacha, Jewish law, it's non-negotiable. He's the king, he says jump, we say how high, and there's the metaphor, the other metaphor we talked about of a king and a servant, that's the other aspect of the other description. God says jump, our answer is how high. These are non-negotiable requests of us. This is what we're responsible for, kabbalas ol, the yoke of responsibility to live a certain life and behave in certain ways and meet certain standards. But that's not the sum total of a relationship. That doesn't capture it all. How tragic. We have a friendship and we have a love affair and we have a parent-child deep connection that's so much more than that. כי אף שגם בעל קבלת עול מכיר בהשם יתברך, the one who lives in fear, the one who accepts the yoke of heaven also recognizes and identifies God, אבל אינו חש השם יתברך חלק מחייו. But he doesn't feel that God is part of their life. Such a person who only lives in fear says okay, was I a good boy today? Was I a good girl today? Do I have to worry about... lightning strike today? And then they leave God in the book, then they leave God in the abstract, then they leave God in the philosophy. But for Him to be an Elokim chayim, if all you have is fear of God, He doesn't come in the MRI machine with you. If all you have is fear of God, He doesn't come in the doctor's office with you. If all you have is fear of God, He doesn't come on the hike or the nature walk with you. Because all you have is fear. All you have with Him is when you want to make sure did I daven, did I make the bracha, did I speak lashon hara, did I do the right thing, I don't want lightning to strike, oh no! That's not a relationship, that shouldn't be the sum total, that's not what He asks or invites from us. How tragic that some people think that that's it. אלא חשו כביכול מישהו חיצוני. See, when all you do is live with fear and all you do is see yourself as kabalas ol, as having to bear the responsibility, then you are some external thing. God sits in judgment you know of everything that He ever created, every chair, every leaf, every person. So if all we do is think that we are those judged, if all we do is think that we are someone who has to sit in fear of Hashem, if the sum total of our life is to live with consequence, then we are chitzoni, we are some superficial external object. We're just another object in this world. God judges every object He created to see whether it's worthy and whether it should continue and whether it's serving its purpose in creation and to determine whether it should remain. God judges every single object. כל באי עולם עוברים לפניו כבני מרון. Kol ba'ei olam, not just Jews, not just human beings, everything in creation God is in constant evaluation of to determine should He have it continue. That flower, time for it to die or should it live on? That orchid, does it have another day or is it over? God is judging every object. And the degree to which we live our lives seeing ourselves as objects of His judgment only because we're in fear in Him, then we're an object. But the moment we realize we're in a relationship, there's love, there's affection, there's connection, there's a hug, there's energy, there's support, that there's a piece of Him in us and He loves us and we love Him, again, not to the point that we don't have consequences, but to the point that there's a love, an unconditional love, then we go from being an object to a subject. והוא בעיניו כמו מלך על העם שהוא מחוץ לבית האדם וחייו. You see, when you have to live in fear of the king, do you even know the king? Do you even have a relationship with the king? The king sits in the palace and the king pronounces his edicts and you have to pay those taxes and you have to live that life. And if you don't, then the agents or ambassadors of the king can take your house, can take your money, and can take off your head. You don't have a relationship with the king. You're not enriched by getting to know the king. You just live in fear of the king. And is that the way we want our relationship with Hashem to be? He's a king that I don't know, he's a king that I don't relate to, he's a king that I don't have a relationship with, I just live in fear so he doesn't take off my head. אבל במדרגות הדביקות האדם מרגיש את השם יתברך בתוך חייו, says the Rebbe MiPiaseczno. But in these levels of dveikus, a human being, a Jew, one feels margish, you feel Hashem in your life. Behergashas u'ratzon halev, in the longing and in the feeling and in the desire of the heart. והוא תופס אצלו מקום בחייו. God has a place in my life. I'm in a relationship, I'm talking to Him. I'm talking to God all the time. Talking to God when I'm trying to write a sermon, I'm talking to God when I'm going into a difficult meeting, I'm talking to God when I'm in my car, I'm talking to God while I'm trying to hold that plank and not collapse, and yes, Nancy, I'm still doing the plank. I'm talking to God all the time. Because if you're an object, so you an object don't talk, and to whom is the object talking? But if you're a subject, you're in conversation. Your entire life is one long conversation with God. A conversation never ends. Again, in a healthy marriage, you're in conversation all day. Whether you're actually talking to each other or you're thinking about and remembering and planning and nostalgically recalling the conversation and the connection and the time spent together. That conversation so to say is ongoing. It never rests, it never breaks. And if you're in this healthy relationship with God, if there's a sense of dveikus, a sense of clinging and connecting and attaching, you're in an ongoing conversation that never pauses and that never stops and that never rests. When you daven you're talking to God, when you're learning Torah God's talking to you, but all throughout the day, even not in that religious context or activity, there is an ongoing conversation. We've shared, I think it's the Belzer Rebbe's insight. The Gemara says הלואי שיתפלל אדם כל היום. Halevai, wouldn't it be wonderful if a person prayed the entire day long? Wouldn't that be wonderful? And I ask you, would that be wonderful? Certainly not today where you have to wear a mask every time you daven, but wouldn't it be wonderful? How could you daven the whole day long? You gotta brush your teeth, you gotta go to the bathroom, you gotta shop, you gotta cook, you gotta eat, you gotta work, you gotta draw an income, you gotta take out the garbage. There's things that we have to do. How could you daven the entire day long? So he says, הלוואי שיתפלל אדם כל היום. Halavai, wouldn't it be wonderful if we daven the entire day, doesn't mean that we open the siddur and daven the entire day, a liturgy, a text? It means wouldn't it be amazing if the entire day every activity you were doing, you were talking to God. I'm going in the boardroom, I'm going in the operating room, I'm going in the in the courtroom, I'm going the supermarket, I'm going in the gym, I'm going wherever I'm going and I offer a prayer: God, let this work, let me be healthy, let me succeed, let it happen, let whatever it is that I need. I'm going into my parent teacher conference. It doesn't matter. הלוואי שיתפלל אדם כל היום. Wouldn't it be amazing if a Jew was talking to God the entire day? If that conversation and dialogue never had a break and it never ended? I wake up Modeh Ani, thank you God I'm alive, I open my eyes, my faculties are all working, it's another day, Modeh Ani. I end my day Shema, God, thank you, I reflect on my day, I plan for the next. Halavai, wouldn't it be amazing if a Jew was talking to God from morning to night throughout our entire day? Not with a Tehillim and not with a book and not with a siddur. The more authentic, the more genuine, why did our Rabbis establish all that davening? Because they worried that we wouldn't actually set aside time for davening otherwise. So they had to, they had to obligate us, they had to obligate us to ensure that we would actually do. But the most authentic, the most genuine, the most real, the most raw type of davening is what comes from our heart. It's that ongoing conversation. It's remembering yesterday and it's asking him for today and for tomorrow and it's feeling connected and loved and it's confiding and trusting and it's laughing and it's crying and it's feeling connected and attached. It's saying God I'm not an object, I'm a subject and I'm a subject that is in everlasting conversation with you. ובודאי גם בזה יש מדריגות. And even when it comes to this there are different levels. כמה מקום תופס הקשר עם השם יתברך. There are many, many levels. וכמו הקשר בין בני המשפחה שיש הקשר חזק מאוד ויש פחות. Think about your family for a moment. Maybe there's some members of your family you're closer to than others. There could be siblings you're closer to, there could be cousins you're closer to, there could even be, not in my case, people have children they're closer to than others. There could be members of your family who you have in common with them all a sense of connection and love, of deep connection, and yet still there are different levels and layers of connection. And the same is true in this quality of dveikus, in this mitzvah, it's not just a quality, it's a mitzvah in the Torah, it's one of the taryag. We have to cling to God, stick to him, glue, attach ourselves to him. It's one of the mitzvahs that we have and in that area and in that quality there are many different levels. Ushleimus hamadreiga hazosi. And what does it mean to be whole, what does it mean to be complete in this way? שאדם כל כך מרגיש את השם יתברך וכל כך מחובר אליו. A person has such an awareness, such a feeling of God and such a sense of attachment to him עד שכל הבריאה וענייניה לא תופסים אצלו חשיבות. Until all of creation and its matters do not take on importance with him. והוא מרגיש שהוא רק עם השם יתברך. Until, and this is a very high level, don't lose me now, but a person is capable of living with God in such a high level that you don't even sense that there is anything else but him. He is all there is. There could be moments of such deep connection, hisbodedus, sitting on a beach, going on a hike, sitting in your own room and closing your eyes and clearing your mind to think about attaching to him where you can have such an awareness of His presence, a presence that's greater, an infinite, omnipotent presence, a great light that's overwhelming, that you can even be overwhelmed with this feeling that in that moment there is nothing else. And he writes here in the footnote, שכל יהודי צריך להגיע עד המדרגה הזאת. We have to strive to get to that level. Not in an ongoing way because if you're supposed to be spending time with your spouse or your children or you're at work, you don't want your boss to say, you know in a middle of the meeting, excuse me, are you tuning out, are you with us? And you say, with who, there is no one and nothing but God. Right? That job will be over that day and you'll have no income for your family and that is not what's meant to be, that's not what's right or righteous. So we're not talking about doing this all the time but we're talking about ever doing it, knowing that feeling, ever achieving it. שראשו יהא עסוק רק לחפש את קרבת השם יתברך. To set aside time to meditate and reflect and to be able to feel there is nothing except him and me. Vetaivas libo tihiyeh צמאה נפשי לאלוקים מתי אבוא ואראה פני אלוקים. And the taiva, the longing of our heart should be to get to a place that my soul thirsts for God. When will I see the face of God, when would I feel the presence of God? ובכל ענייני הבריאה הוא יראה איך השם יתברך מתגלה בהם. And in all aspects of the briya to feel that there is nothing and no one but him. And he gives this example that, you know if you've ever been with someone you admire enormously, if you've ever been in the White House at the Oval Office, not necessarily someone you admire but in a place of great... power, if you've ever been with someone who has some great celebrity status, some status, and you've been overwhelmed, you didn't notice anything else in the room. You didn't notice anyone else in the room. You can't recall what things looked like or who else was there or what happened, all you know is the feeling of being overwhelmed by that moment, by that experience, by that person. *Lhavdil, lhavdil, lhavdil*, that's what it's supposed to be like with God. If a person truly feels in that moment that depth of connection and they're overwhelmed with the sense that all there is is Him, all there is is me and Him right now, then there is no one and there is nothing else. Now that's not again an ongoing sustainable feeling, but it is a feeling that we have to get and we have to capture at times and in moments. We have to get to a place where we have felt that, where we know what it's like, where we long to get back to it, where we set aside time for it. I wrote in last week's article and each article's on the website rabbiefraimgoldberg.org if you want to check, I don't make money from it, just a shameless plug for you to read it. But I quoted from a podcast I'd listened to recently. It's a non-Jew, a non-Jew who talked about they do *hisbodedus*, they obviously didn't use that word, but they isolate meditate for an hour a day. This is a super successful venture capital individual who's invested in the most successful companies in the world and he talks about the secret of his life. He's no longer anxious or worried or fearful. He's no longer a pleasure seeker who's looking for pleasure in the wrong or harmful places and he credits it all to an hour a day, *hisbodedus*. Sitting and reflecting and experiencing and being. I quoted from it and I wrote the description if you want to look back at the article you can see it in there, but it's sort of what he's describing here. To get to a place and to ever have the experience to relate to that feeling, all there is is Him and me. And when I really stick to and cling to Him and I really feel Him, then there is nothing else. There is nothing else. So we'll leave it here for today, but that's our goal, that's our mission, to get beyond *kabbalas ol*, to get beyond just feeling the yoke, to go from an object to a subject, to get from somebody who only talks to Him in prayer to talking to him the entire day, to the conversation not only never stopping, the conversation never ending. הלוואי שיתפלל כל היום to take Him with us everywhere, to feel His hug and to reciprocate that hug, to feel His love and to love Him back, to be able to feel *nochach*, He's opposite with me. He's with me always and everywhere and at all times and that makes my life so much better in every which way. Thank you for joining us, until next time stay happy, stay healthy, stay holy. Tonight nine o'clock, first time ever Behind the *Bima* on location at Boca's newest restaurant Roadhouse, we will be interviewing the master chef Seth Warshaw as he brings us his greatest and newest creations to taste, very exciting culinary episode, exciting at least for us gastrointestinally. So hopefully you'll join us tonight at 9 p.m. Until then stay well everybody.
