Transcript
Good morning, בוקר טוב boker tov, and in all seriousness, thank you to all who have joined friends of BRS and chose to support for the wonderful שו\"ר-ים shiurim, classes, learning opportunities that we provide. We thank you for your support and appreciate your partnership. Our פרשה parsha series this year is generously sponsored by dear friends Becky and Avi Katz and family, in memory of Becky's father David Grossman, לעילוי נשמת le'ilui nishmas דוד בן מנחם מנשה Dovid ben Menachem Manash, whose נשמה neshama should have an עלייה aliyah.Before we delve into this week's פרשה parsha, ויחי Vayechi, and conclude the opening book of the Torah, a book of בראשית Bereishis, I want to spend just a moment on today. Today is עשרה בטבת Asarah B'Teves, it's the 10th day of טבת Teves. And if you, like me, are missing your morning coffee, both to wake you up and warm you up, then you know that today is a fast day. And the question is, why? What are we fasting for? Why are we fasting? When I was a child, we mistakenly thought we fast because somehow by, somehow by refraining, abstaining from the pleasures of, of the material world, it's a כפרה kaparah, it's an atonement. But the truth is, most people spend the day planning how they'll take their nap and what they're going to break their fast on, and today is the shortest fast of the whole year. And we're so fixated and focused on depriving ourselves of food, as if we can't make it 12 hours without something to eat, that we neglect to really tap into what today is really all about, which is self-reflection, introspection, to think about all that happens in the world, all that happened both in our history and will happen in our destiny, are not random chance or fluke, but are by design and are orchestrated from above. And that all that happens is communicating and signaling a message to us. The truth is, עשרה בטבת Asarah B'Teves, while identified as one day, the 10th of טבת Teves, really is part of a three-day fast, because there were events that fell on all three days, except we're incapable of fasting all three, so we consolidate and we group them into one. So just to share a few, נבוכדנצר Nevuchadnetzar, the wicked Babylonian leader, laid siege to ירושלים Yerushalayim on the 10th of טבת Teves. And that was the beginning of the end. That siege, that inability to access one another, to access resources and goods, to access the holy city of ירושלים Yerushalayim, where the residents of ירושלים Yerushalayim to get out, it was the beginning of the end that we will mark, hopefully not, hopefully we'll mark it with celebration, joy, and a יום טוב yom tov in ירושלים Yerushalayim. But if not, we'll mark תשעה באב Tisha B'Av this summer, we sit on the floor and we bemoan the destruction of the two בתי מקדש batei Mikdash, today was what began and launched that all with the siege of ירושלים Yerushalayim.The גמרא Gemara tells us that as well, עשרה בטבת Asarah B'Teves corresponds and commemorates another terrible event in our history. King Ptolemy took 72 of our sages, 72 of our great rabbis, and he separated them into separate rooms, and he told them to translate the תורה Torah into Greek, the Septuagint. Now the truth is a great miracle occurred, and all of them were careful when they translated, they also edited, not in a way that would distort or misrepresent השם's Hashem's sacred תורה Torah. According to the ים של שלמה Yam Shel Shlomo and the מהרש\"א Maharsha, to do so would be a capital crime, but they did so in a way to protect the Jewish people from giving a negative impression, one that would bring a grave consequence for the Jewish people. So on the one hand, there was a miracle involved, namely that they all came up with the exact same translation, and they all used some editorial freedom in the places that were necessary not to elicit the ire, not to elicit the anger of our enemies. הרב הוטנר Rav Hutner famously said, you know what would have been a bigger miracle? Not that they took 72 great rabbis and put them in 72 different rooms and they all came up with the same translation. Said רב הוטנר Rav Hutner, it would have been a bigger miracle if all 72 were in the same room and they agreed on the same translation. That would have been an even bigger miracle. But nevertheless, there was a great miracle of the Septuagint, but it represented a terrible moment for the Jewish people because our sacred תורה Torah, which was our code language with the רבונו של עולם Ribono Shel Olam, with the Almighty, became translated, became accessible to all. It was diminished in that way. It was diminished in that way. עזרא הסופר Ezra HaSofer, Ezra the great leader who took us back from exile, died on עשרה בטבת Asarah B'Teves, died in these three-day period, and we commemorate his passing because Ezra was a leader who was a voice of moral clarity. And with his demise, with his passing, the people recoiled and the people regressed to a level of immorality. Today in modern times is also designated עשרה בטבת Asarah B'Teves. Holocaust survivors who didn't know when they lost their loved one and what was the appropriate יארצייט yahrzeit to mark, עשרה בטבת Asarah B'Teves was designated as the יום הקדיש הכללי Yom HaKaddish HaKlali. Today was the universal or group generic קדיש Kaddish. Today was designated עשרה בטבת Asarah B'Teves as a fast day, not יום השואה Yom HaShoah, and not even תשעה באב Tisha B'Av, though we incorporate certainly that commemoration into those days as well, but the יום הקדיש הכללי Yom HaKaddish HaKlali. What all these days have in common are days that the Jewish people are supposed to be reflective and introspective about our condition in the world, our virtue, our merit, our worthiness. And we're supposed to try to overcome that which launched it all. You know, I looked this morning and I couldn't find in a ספר sefer, I couldn't find a source, but I had somewhere in my notes, so I'm not sure where it comes from, that the date on the Hebrew calendar where יוסף Yosef was thrown in the pit by the brothers was עשרה בטבת Asarah B'Teves. And I don't know where I got that from. If it's true, it makes sense, because all of these terrible events, all are the result of the שנאת חינם sinas chinam. Why we still remain in the exile, why we still remain targeted and threatened, why we still need rallies and protests and marches against antisemitism in the 21st century, in the great year 2020, we still have to look at the world and tell them we have a right to exist. We have a right to live in safety and security, that in the streets of New York, Jews still, in 2020, have to stand up for themselves and say that we deserve freedom, freedom of religion, we deserve to live in safety. It's unfathomable, unfathomable, it's unimaginable, it's incomprehensible. And yet, that exile that we live in, that fragility, that vulnerability, that reminder that ultimately, we are here only with the graciousness of Hashem, that's the result of the story of יוסף Yosef and his brothers, that שנאת חינם sinas chinam that really began it all, and it has not yet concluded. It's not yet ended. In fact, it's a רבינו בחיי Rabbeinu Bachya on this פרשה parsha, and here we'll segue already into the פרשה parsha. And the רבינו בחיי Rabbeinu Bachya on this פרשה parsha notes that, did יוסף Yosef actually forgive his brothers? Did the brothers really ask for that forgiveness? If you look at the text simply, the answer would be yes. They asked for forgiveness and יוסף Yosef says, that's all good, let bygones be bygones. This was the will of Hashem that I would end up in this position in Egypt. It wasn't you, it was the Almighty, it was Hashem, let it go, we're all good. If you look at the text, the narrative simply, it sounds like יוסף Yosef absolutely forgave them and they asked genuinely for that forgiveness. However, רבינו בחיי Rabbeinu Bachya brings up a very compelling question. If that's the case, if the curtain comes down on פרשת ויחי Parshas Vayechi, if the curtain comes down on ספר בראשית Sefer Bereishis, if the curtain comes down on the development of the first Jewish family and all is good and they lived happily ever after, I ask you a very simple question. Why do we read the story of the עשרה הרוגי מלכות Asarah Harugei Malchus? Why do we have a קינה kinah on תשעה באב Tisha B'Av, and one of the סליחות slichos on יום כיפור Yom Kippur, are the story of the ten martyrs whom the Romans rounded up and murdered brutally, brutally. They were not contemporaneous to one another, though we read the story and the פיוט piyut as if they were, they overlapped but they were not all contemporaneous, but they were the victims, the Romans held them accountable. And the מדרש איכה Midrash Eicha, חז\"ל Chazal tell us that why did they die? Because the Roman general opened the חומש Chumash, and he was reading בראשית Bereishis, and he said, you know, the brothers never paid the price. They were never held accountable. There was never a consequence for what they did to יוסף Yosef. And so he put them on trial, and they lost the trial. And they were brutally, brutally murdered, the עשרה הרוגי מלכות Asarah Harugei Malchus, these ten great rabbinic figures, the ambassadors of our מסורה mesorah, what we lost with them and we lost with their Torah. What what's that all about? If יוסף Yosef forgave his brothers and the curtain comes down on בראשית Bereishis and all's well that ends well and they live happily ever after, why are we reading that סליחה slicha? Why are we reading that קינה kinah? Why is there a story of the עשרה הרוגי מלכות Asarah Harugei Malchus? And so רבינו בחיי Rabbeinu Bachya has what is really quite a depressing comment, but I think very true, which is that the brothers never offered the most heartfelt, remorseful apology. It's a very superficial, surface apology. You know, it's the kind of apology that, I'm so sorry if I hurt you. You know that whole Elul time, I want to ask for מחילה mechila if maybe possibly I hurt you. I don't know, I don't care, I didn't really pay attention, but somewhere it says I'm supposed to check off that I asked you for מחילה mechila. You know that apology, that useless, empty, worthless apology? Well, the brothers' apology was not much better than that. They feared for their lives, they were worried for יוסף's Yosef's retribution, and so they said, listen, we're really sorry. But יוסף Yosef didn't buy it. And what confirmed for יוסף Yosef his suspicion that they weren't heartfelt is our פרשה parsha, because what do the brothers come and tell יוסף Yosef in our פרשה parsha? When יעקב Yaakov dies, יעקב אבינו לא מת Yaakov Avinu lo meis, he never dies, but when physically he dies, when יעקב Yaakov died, they run and they rush to יוסף Yosef and what do they tell him? יוסף Yosef, we forgot to tell you, but right before dad died, right before dad died, he said you shouldn't do anything to us, we shouldn't do anything. What do you mean right before dad died? How did יוסף Yosef know for sure that his dad, his טאטי tati, his אבא abba, whatever יעקב Yaakov was called, how did יוסף Yosef know for sure that there's no way that יעקב Yaakov spoke to the brothers about not getting into it with יוסף Yosef? How did יוסף Yosef know that for sure? Would the brothers have told their father what they did? Of course not, absolutely not. The only one who would have told was יוסף Yosef. And יוסף Yosef knew that he never told. Not only did he not tell, we are told that from the moment they were reunited and from the moment יעקב Yaakov descended to מצרים Mitzrayim, יוסף Yosef never allowed himself to be alone with his father not a moment. Can you imagine the sensitivity and the kindness of a יוסף Yosef? Why did יוסף Yosef do that? יוסף Yosef who longed for the affection, יוסף Yosef who longed for that private time. Seventeen years his whole childhood was defined by his closeness and by the singularity of the relationship between יוסף Yosef and his father. And now they're reunited after a 22-year separation with the brothers who've had the luxury of their father's time, and יוסף Yosef was deprived of it and denied it. Of course, יוסף Yosef would have been entitled to say, I have a daily חברותא chavrusa with dad in the palace, we lock the door, it's private time, nobody enters it, we're not sharing it. And yet, יוסף Yosef says, no, not interested. And why does יוסף Yosef say no, not interested? Why was he sure for the next 17 years that they were together, he and his father again, not a coincidence, we'll begin in a moment, 17 and 17, but why did יוסף Yosef ensure he was never alone with his father, not for a moment? Because he didn't want his brothers to suspect that he was using that private, confidential time to inform on them, to throw them under the bus, to tell the dad what they had done. Could you imagine the level of sensitivity of יוסף Yosef? The level of loyalty of יוסף Yosef to his brothers. יוסף Yosef puts protecting them ahead of his own interest or of his own desire, of his own want. What a level of sensitivity. My seven-year-old son just told me a story, I think I guess he heard it in school, about רב הוטנר Rav Hutner, that one of his תלמידים talmidim who waited a long time to have a child called him to say, רבי Rebbe, we had a baby. And רב הוטנר Rav Hutner who was known to scream and give an enthusiastic מזל טוב mazel tov, just said, call me back in 15 minutes and hung up the phone. And the תלמיד talmid didn't understand after waiting so long and feeling such joy, his רבי rebbe, he was so excited to be able to tell his רבי rebbe the news and to hear his רבי's rebbe's reaction and that's the, call me back in 15 minutes, you hung up the phone. So he called his רבי rebbe back and when he called, now this time his רב הוטנר Rav Hutner yelled, מזל טוב Mazel Tov! He said, רבי Rebbe, what happened before? He said, I was sitting with a couple who have no children, who have been trying hard, and I didn't want to react and respond with such enthusiasm, with such a huge מזל טוב mazel tov, and they would ask what was that about. That's why I asked her to call me back 15 years later. The righteous, a צדיק tzaddik, a צדקת tzadekes lives with a level of consciousness and mindfulness not to give into the emotion of how I want to react and how I want to respond and what I want to say and who I want to be alone with, but the צדיק tzaddik lives with a level of mindfulness, consciousness, sensitivity, how will it be interpreted by others, and will it damage or injure or harm those around me? רב הוטנר Rav Hutner was careful. יוסף הצדיק Yosef HaTzaddik was incredibly careful. Could again, could you imagine he was never, if anyone would have been entitled to say, I could care less what they think. I could care less what they suspect. I could care less, let them שוויץ shvitz it out a little bit. Let them not know what I'm telling אבא abba, טאטי tati, dad about them. If anyone was entitled it was יוסף Yosef, but he refused. So יוסף Yosef knew that יעקב Yaakov could not have gone to his deathbed knowing what happened. The brothers certainly wouldn't have told their father, and יוסף Yosef was so careful not to tell him. He knew the brothers, he knew that יעקב Yaakov didn't know. And he knew the brothers manufactured. He knew they made it up, they lied. And so יוסף Yosef, נבך nebach, this outsider who was desperate, desperate to break in and to be among the brothers, to be one and the same. And when they reconcile, he does maybe the most magnanimous thing in all of history. He does the most generous gesture of all time. He gives his brothers a second chance, a second chance. I share with you when we get up to the פרשה parsha on פסח שני Pesach Sheini, that one of the reasons given for פסח שני Pesach Sheini, who was טמא מת tamei meis, who was impure that needed the second פסח Pesach? Those who were carrying the bones of יוסף Yosef, that he's going to make his family promise not to leave him in מצרים Mitzrayim that we read about in our פרשה parsha. And why is it that the bones of יוסף Yosef inspired פסח שני Pesach Sheini? Because if anyone taught us the notion of a second chance, it was יוסף הצדיק Yosef HaTzaddik. יוסף Yosef taught us the idea and the ideal of a second chance. And God gave a second chance with פסח שני Pesach Sheini. It's the יום טוב yom tov, it's the חג chag of second chances. All on the merit of יוסף Yosef, who perhaps was the archetype, the paradigm who taught us what it means to give a second chance. So יוסף Yosef who's this outsider who is desperate to break in, and he gives them a second chance, and finally he's happy go lucky and he's reunited with his brothers and he sets them up for success, and he's one of them, until they come in our פרשה parsha and say, oh yeah, dad before he died, he had a message for you, we were supposed to deliver. And all of a sudden יוסף Yosef realizes, you know, they don't think I ever really forgave them. And they're not really so desperate for forgiveness. And I guess I'm still an outsider. And so whatever tinge, whatever twinge of that, of that tension remained, was enough to create the episode and the story of the עשרה הרוגי מלכות Asarah Harugei Malchus, and until today we continue to suffer from the שנאת חינם sinas chinam. That tension, that rivalry, that judgment, that marginalization, that rejection, that inability to live together and accept one another. You know, everyone talks about and it's true, and I don't want to take away whatsoever. If I have time, I'm going to write an article this week, about the סיום הש\"ס Siyum HaShas in MetLife Stadium and 92,000 people and the סיום הש\"ס Siyum HaShas down here, several thousand people, and everywhere there was a סיום הש\"ס Siyum HaShas, there was an enormous קידוש השם kiddush Hashem, and there was an enormous display of אחדות achdus, and behind the scenes, there was enormous politics and tension and שנאת חינם sinas chinam. And we don't like to talk about that part, and I'm not going to talk about it now, and I know unfortunately a lot about it. I know way too much about it, much more than I want to know. Who sits where, and who speaks, and when, and how, and why, and labels, and icons, and logos. It's we're still stuck, we're still stuck with יוסף Yosef and the brothers. And while we make progress and there's much to celebrate, and I'm not going to be the grinch who stole the סיום הש\"ס Siyum HaShas. I'm not trying to, I'm not trying to paint a negative picture of it. We should celebrate it and we should, we should regale in the glory and the success and it should carry us, we should bask in it for the next seven and a half years until we merit to get together. And there definitely were glimpses of progress and breakthrough. My רבי rebbe on the, on the jumbotron, the big screen of MetLife Stadium at the אגודה's Agudah's sponsored סיום הש\"ס Siyum HaShas is a wonderful progress. It's a beautiful, beautiful thing. There's a lot to celebrate, but my point is as much as we celebrate and take steps forward, if we're honest and we look in the mirror, we continue to suffer from this exact same thing. And that's why we're fasting today. You know why we're hungry? Because we can't get along. If we got along, we would have a reason to eat. If we got along, we can פרעסן fress together. But you know why we're hungry? We're depriving ourselves of food not as if some atonement for 12 whole hours will go without a little extra food. Most of us have enough. We can, we can live off of what we've been banking. Most of us have enough, we're okay, we'll survive. Why are we not eating? Because we're taking a moment. We sit down to the פסח סדר Pesach seder, we dip the כרפס karpas, the כתונת פסים kesones passim, before we enjoy and celebrate the יציאה yetziah from מצרים Mitzrayim, the exodus and its miracles, we remember how we got there to begin with. And I would say that in every moment that we remain in the גלות galus, geographically, physically, spiritually, metaphysically, as long as we are in the גלות galus, the גלות galus of antisemitism, and the גלות galus of conflict and tension, and the גלות galus of threats and danger, as long as we're in the גלות galus, every celebration still has just a little bit of the recognition that we remain with these problems. And if we want to break out and break free and we finally want to transition and change things, then it's up to us. We just have to figure out a way to get along and to break this vicious, vicious cycle and to not marginalize and reject and judge, but instead to unite and to bring in and to create greater and greater community and greater and great people. Okay, so that was the word I want to say at the beginning of עשרה בטבת Asarah B'Teves and its connection to our פרשה parsha and that with that we begin. We begin, we're just getting started.פרשת ויחי Parshas Vayechi, page 268 in the Stone Artscroll חומש Chumash. ויחי יעקב בארץ מצרים שבע עשרה שנה ויהי ימי יעקב שני חייו שבע שנים וארבעים ומאת שנה Vayechi Yaakov b'eretz Mitzrayim shva esrei shana vayehi yemei Yaakov shnei chayav sheva shanim v'arbaim u'meas shana. יעקב Yaakov lives in מצרים Mitzrayim 17 years and ויהי ימי יעקב vayehi yemei Yaakov, and it was the days of יעקב Yaakov, שני חייו shnei chayav, the years of his life, שבע שנים וארבעים ומאת שנה sheva shanim v'arbaim u'meas shana. What a clumsy פסוק pasuk, what a difficult פסוק pasuk to translate. What a פסוק pasuk that you could have said so much more succinctly that you could have shortened. יעקב Yaakov lived in מצרים Mitzrayim 17 years. Okay, so far so good. ויהי ימי יעקב שני חייו שבע שנים וארבעים ומאת שנה Vayehi yemei Yaakov shnei chayav sheva shanim v'arbaim u'meas shana. So what is going on? What's going on over here? The הילולא דבישנא Hilula d'Vishnas or the אמרי חיים Imrei Chaim says the following: יעקב אבינו עליו השלום הכניס חיות גם באותם שהם בארץ מצרים משוקעים רחמנא ליצלן בארציות ותאוות השפלות מעשה ארץ מצרים Yaakov Avinu alav hashalom hichnis chiyus gam b'osam shehem b'eretz Mitzrayim meshukaim rachmana litzlan b'artzius v'taavos hashiflus ma'aseh eretz Mitzrayim. Whenever we want to describe a morally depraved, decadent, corrupt society, as the image of it we we depict, we call upon מצרים Mitzrayim. That's מצרים Mitzrayim. מצרים Mitzrayim was contaminated, it was impure, it was corrupt. It was morally depraved, it was absent of godliness and spirituality and holiness. That's מצרים Mitzrayim. It's the ultimate of the physical, mundane, material world. It's the ultimate of the pleasure of the here and now is מצרים Mitzrayim. Whatever you associate with סדום Sedom, סדום Sedom was destroyed, and the capital of this moral corruption became forever in perpetuity מצרים Mitzrayim. In fact, I would argue and I did for a very long time one שבת הגדול Shabbos Hagadol, that the three times in the Torah when it tells us that there's a biblical prohibition to go back to מצרים Mitzrayim. Once Hashem took us out of Egypt, the Torah on three occasions tells us we are forbidden to return to Egypt. And we explored in that lengthy שו\"ר shiur many years ago, how is it that we did return? רב עובדיה יוסף זצ\"ל Rav Ovadia Yosef zatzal was a דיין dayan in מצרים Mitzrayim. Maybe there are people sitting here now, we have members of our community who grew up in Cairo, grew up in Egypt, the Jews did go back. So did that prohibition remain in perpetuity? Was it temporary? It's an amazing הלכתית halachic discussion. But I argued in that שו\"ר shiur, it's not an original thought, I shared the argument that the prohibition of returning to מצרים Mitzrayim is not just a geographic physical prohibition to go there, it is a metaphysical prohibition. God says, you used to live in a society of superstition. You used to live among pagans who worshipped idols. You used to live among narcissistic, self-centered people who thought they were deities. You used to live among those who thought silly things like a red string would impact your destiny. You used to live among those who subscribed to superstition, and Hashem says, I took you out of there. I broke you free. I welcomed you in. I brought you into a relationship with me. תמים תהיה עם השם אלקיך Tamim tihiyeh im Hashem Elokecha. Enough of the נרישקייט narishkeit and the superstition and the silliness. דאוון Daven to me. I gave you 613 school laws. They're called מצוות mitzvos. Don't neglect the מצוות mitzvos and subscribe to the silliness. I took you out of מצרים Mitzrayim. That's the prohibition to go back. מצרים Mitzrayim is a place of superstition, silliness, corruption, moral depravity, and that's what the Vilna Gaon says. ויחי יעקב Vayechi Yaakov, the holiness of יעקב Yaakov, the greatness of יעקב Yaakov was, ויחי בארץ מצרים vayechi b'eretz Mitzrayim. He brought an alive, dynamic, passionate, enthusiastic Judaism even to מצרים Mitzrayim. It's not just that ויחי יעקב Vayechi Yaakov found the ability to live as a proud Jew where? In כנען Canaan, and then he went to מצרים Mitzrayim and he took off his yarmulke, and he hid in the basement, and he assimilated his values. No, ויחי יעקב Vayechi Yaakov, יעקב Yaakov was alive. הכניס חיות גם באותם שהם בארץ מצרים Hichnis chiyus gam b'osam shehem b'eretz Mitzrayim. Even to those who were so caught up in the pursuit of the material and the physical, of the pleasure, even those who were touched and tapped by the assimilation, ויחי יעקב Vayechi Yaakov, he breathed life back into them, he revived them, he brought a Judaism and a dynamism, and he elevated and he woke them up. We're going to speak tonight, we continue our series on the American Orthodox Rabbinate. It's at 7:30, so you break your fast quickly and come, feel free to bring more snacks to the talk if you want. It's at 7:30 tonight. I have the great privilege tonight of talking about Rabbi Mordechai Pinchas Teitz, זכר צדיק לברכה zecher tzaddik livracha. It's a great privilege because he was an extraordinary רב rav who had an amazing impact on the American Jewish community. And it's a great privilege because my family was extraordinary close with him and was very involved in the growth of the Elizabeth community. But we'll talk about tonight, ויחי רבי טייץ vayechi Rabbi Teitz to a community that was depicted as a place that Judaism could never take root, filled with ignorance and assimilation, to build a thriving תורה Torah community. We'll talk about how he did it and what motivated him to do it, and maybe some of the things that we can still follow the model of what he did, that is tonight. So the Vilna Gaon says, ויחי יעקב Vayechi Yaakov, just because you find yourself in an ארץ מצרים eretz Mitzrayim doesn't mean it should extinguish the flame and the passion of your Judaism. It has to be alive, it has to be vibrant, it has to be something which is great and something which is real. He continues, ויהי ימי יעקב vayehi yemei Yaakov, listen to what he says. כל יום חשב שאין לו רק אותו היום. קיים שוב יום אחד בכל יום. היה בדעתו שהוא הסיכום של כל שני חייו Kol yom chashav she'ein lo rak oso hayom. Kiyem shuv yom echad b'chol yom. Hayah b'daato shehu hasikum shel kol shnei chayav. This is how he understands the clumsiness of the פסוק pasuk. The פסוק pasuk says, ויהי ימי יעקב vayehi yemei Yaakov, and it was the days of יעקב Yaakov, שני חייו shnei chayav, the years of his life, 147 years. Which is it, the days, the years? So the Vilna Gaon says יעקב Yaakov lived each and every day to its fullest. So before you got to the years, ויהי ימי שני vayehi yemei shnei. כל יום חשב שאין לו רק אותו היום Kol yom chashav she'ein lo rak oso hayom. Every day he considered that all he had was that day. All he has was that day. That's the ברכה bracha that יעקב Yaakov who lived his life that way, ויהי ימי יעקב vayehi yemei Yaakov, the days of יעקב Yaakov, he lived every day, every day to its fullest, every day as if it's his last. I hate when people say that, because if you knew it was your last day, you'd quit your job, and you wouldn't do the laundry, and you wouldn't do, but if you're going to live, you need that job to pay for the bills tomorrow. So you can't live every day as if it's your last, because that would be living irresponsibly, actually. But it means live every day not knowing when will be your last. Have no regrets, tell the people you love you love them, and immerse yourself in the activity and the ambition and the aspiration of the things you want to be doing. יעקב Yaakov lived every day to its fullest. And then you know what יעקב Yaakov did? He took that very same quality and he passed it on to his sons. פרק מ\"ח, פסוק כ' Perek mem-ches, pasuk chaf, on the bottom of page 272. When he gathers his children to give a ברכה bracha, what does it say? ויברכם ביום ההוא לאמור בך יברך ישראל לאמור Vayevarchem bayom hahu leimor, b'cha yevarech Yisrael leimor. When he's giving אפרים Ephraim and מנשה Menashe the ברכה bracha, which we'll talk about in a moment, how is it introduced? ויברכם ביום ההוא לאמור Vayevarchem bayom hahu leimor. So a simple understanding is that on that day, the day that he was with מנשה Menashe and אפרים Ephraim, the day that he said to יוסף Yosef, nu, bring these קינדרלך kinderlach, by the way who are they, ah, I know who they are, bring these קינדרלך kinderlach, let me give them a ברכה bracha. So it was on that day that he interacted with these אינקלאך einiklach that he gave them the ברכה bracha. That's a simple way to understand it. But רב משה ליב סוסובר Rav Moshe Leib Sasover says, you know what the ברכה bracha he gave to אפרים Ephraim and מנשה Menashe was? ויברכם Vayevarchem, he gave them a ברכה bracha, and you know what the ברכה bracha was? ביום ההוא Bayom hahu, live today. The ברכה bracha, ויברכם vayevarchem, you know what the ברכה bracha what he transmitted, the ברכה bracha that he gave them was, ביום ההוא bayom hahu, what you have is that day. Stop looking to tomorrow, and stop getting stuck in yesterday, but ויברכם vayevarchem, the ברכה bracha was ביום ההוא bayom hahu, what you have is today. Be present, be mindful, be in the here and now, live the moment. So many people are forfeiting and conceding their lives, stuck in the past or anticipating or worried about the future, and in that, in the process, forfeiting the present. We know the present is the gift from above. It's why it's called the present. So all we have is the present. ויברכם Vayevarchem, what was the ברכה bracha that יעקב Yaakov gave? He gave what he had achieved. That's at the beginning of the פרשה parsha. It says the Vilna Gaon, ויהי ימי יעקב vayehi yemei Yaakov, כל יום kol yom, רק אותו היום rak oso hayom. שני, ימי, the days of his life because יעקב Yaakov had mastered the ability to live that day, to be in that moment, to be present with what's happening in the here and now. That's the Vilna Gaon. רב משה ליב סוסובר Rav Moshe Leib Sasover adds, and that's the quality that he took and he gave to his grandchildren. ויברכם Vayevarchem, what was the ברכה bracha? To teach them how, ביום ההוא bayom hahu. קינדרלך Kinderlach, put the phone away. We're going to spend some time together. We're going to be present. We're not talking about the future, the past, we're not stuck. Let's just be in the here and now. Let's experience ויברכם vayevarchem, the biggest ברכה bracha I can give you is ביום ההוא bayom hahu, to be in the here and now, to be fully present. רב סולובייצ'יק Rav Soloveitchik also has a comment on the fact that the Torah tells us that there were 17 years. And why is, he says, 17 years? It's not a coincidence. יעקב Yaakov and יוסף Yosef had 17 years before they were separated, and now they have 17 years again when they are reunited. יעקב's Yaakov's teachings were responsible for יוסף's Yosef's tenacity and his persistence in times of distress as well as success. יעקב Yaakov knew the longer a leader exercises authority, the tougher and more proud and insensitive he becomes. There was still danger that after יעקב's Yaakov's death, יוסף Yosef might imitate other rulers in their way of life. יעקב Yaakov therefore reviewed the teachings he had passed on to יוסף Yosef during his first 17 years. He recognized the need to fortify יוסף Yosef, the middle-aged viceroy of Egypt who wielded absolute power against all temptations associated with the exercise of that power. So the רב Rav depicts it that the 17 years were to reinforce. It was חזרה chazara. חזרה, חזרה, ונחזור על החזרה Chazara, chazara, v'nachzor al hachazara. You always need more חזרה chazara. But I would argue humbly that maybe a little different וורט vort. We know that when יעקב Yaakov leaves and has to run from the home of his father, from יצחק Yitzchak, where does יעקב Yaakov go and study for the next 14 years? He learns in the ישיבה yeshiva of שם ועבר Shem V'Ever. Why the ישיבה yeshiva of שם ועבר Shem V'Ever? Kamenetsky says on this Yaakov, I think it's Reb Yaakov, has a פשט pshat he says, when יעקב Yaakov learned in the home of יצחק Yitzchak, he was learning in the בית מדרש Beis Medrash, the ivory tower, the place of you were protected and insulated from the influences of the outside. It was a place of purity, it was academic. ישיבת שם ועבר Yeshiva Shem V'Ever was not book smarts, it was the place that you learned street smarts. It was the university of how to operate in this world. It was how to be a בעל הבית balabos. There's one learning that you do when it's תורה Torah only. And then there's another level of learning, another type of learning that needs to prepare you for תורה Torah and. תורה Torah and the פרנסה parnassah, תורה Torah and the spouse, תורה Torah and changing a diaper, תורה Torah and there's another תורה Torah where you don't have the luxury of learning all day, all the time and have everything taken care of for you. And so Reb Yaakov says, יעקב אבינו Yaakov Avinu when he ran from עשיו Eisav and fled from יצחק Yitzchak's home, he left the protection and the insulation of the בית מדרש Beis Medrash of יצחק Yitzchak and he had to go learn in the ישיבה Yeshiva of שם ועבר Shem V'Ever, it was a different לימוד limud. It was a different curriculum. It prepared him to live in the world differently. And therefore, perhaps you can make the same argument here. The first 17 years that יוסף Yosef was growing up in יעקב Yaakov's home, יעקב Yaakov was transmitting what he had learned from יצחק Yitzchak. That was the תורה Torah of תורה Torah only. That was the תורה Torah of being immersed entirely in the ישיבה yeshiva, in the בית מדרש Beis Medrash, in the כולל kollel. No outside exposure, no outside influence, no outside threat. Now that he comes to מצרים Mitzrayim and יוסף Yosef is in an altogether different position in life, he's the viceroy of Egypt, now יעקב Yaakov has to transmit for the equal amount of time, for the equal and opposite amount of time, for the next 17 years, now יעקב Yaakov has to transmit to him a different curriculum. And it's not the curriculum of תורה Torah only of the בית מדרש Beis Medrash, it's the curriculum of as a ruler of Egypt, as a ruler of the world, how do you take תורה Torah and apply it in that new setting, in that new environment? How do you balance תורה Torah with the conflict and tension of other values and other interests and things that are competing for your for your time? I'll just mention this editorial comment which is one of my hang-ups and I'm not sure how to change it. But I think that our ישיבה yeshiva and seminary system need to adapt to spend time certainly allowing our children to be immersed in a world that's כולו תורה kulo Torah, in which perhaps they've not had the merit to live until then, so to spend some time in a world immersed in a world that is כולו kulo protective, insulated, תורה Torah to discover who they are, but at some point in their education, the end of שנה א' Shana Alef, שנה ב' Shana Bet, שנה ג' Shana Gimel, שנה ד' Shana Dalet, depending what track they're on, but at some point, the curriculum should change to how to be a great בעל הבית balabos, how to be a great בעלבוסטע balabusta in this world. When you're going to go to work, how are you still קובע עיתים לתורה kovea itim l'Torah? And when you have children who are hanging off of you and who need you as a young woman, how do you go to שול shul for נעילה Neilah on יום כיפור Yom Kippur? What does it mean to give up your own דאווענען davening because you're raising children? Are we teaching and preparing not just how you can live as עובדי השם ovdei Hashem and יראי שמים yirei Shamayim when all there is is you immersed, protected, insulated from the world, but how can you take the values of תורה Torah and how do we teach you and prepare you and transition you for when you're going to need to integrate that into the world as a whole? I'm not sure where we're teaching that. So perhaps these second 17 years that corresponded and equal and opposite the 17 years at the beginning of יוסף Yosef's life were teaching this second curriculum, this new type of תורה Torah altogether, altogether. פרק מ\"ז פסוק כ\"ט Perek mem zayin, pasuk chaf tes. פרק מ\"ז פסוק כ\"ט Perek mem zayin, pasuk chaf tes. Is the very next פסוק pasuk. ויקרבו ימי ישראל למות Vayikre'u yemei Yisrael lamus. יעקב Yaakov is going to die. ויקרא לבנו ליוסף ויאמר לו אם נא מצאתי חן בעיניך שים נא ידך תחת ירכי ועשית עמדי חסד ואמת אל נא תקברני במצרים Vayikra l'vno l'Yosef vayomer lo im na matzasi chen b'einecha, sim na yadcha tachas yereichi v'asisa imadi chesed v'emes, al na tikbereini b'Mitzrayim. If you love me, if you're compassionate to me, so please take an oath. I need you to do a great חסד chesed with me. A חסד chesed, חסד ואמת chesed v'emes. אל נא תקברני במצרים al na tikbereini b'Mitzrayim. I need you to do a great חסד chesed with me. The אמר חיים Imrei Chaim asks, לכאורה איזו עשיה היא זו אם לא יקברנו במצרים l'chora eizeh asiya hi zu im lo yikbrenu b'Mitzrayim? It's a very peculiar formulation. יעקב Yaakov says to יוסף Yosef, \"Make me a promise. I need you to swear there's something I need you to do.\" When you say there's something I need you to do, do sounds like active. And what is the thing I need you to do? Promise me the thing you'll do, don't bury me in מצרים Mitzrayim, which is passive. So why is it formulated in this unusual fashion? And says the ויז'ניצר Vizhnitzer, שלילות שב ואל תעשה shlilus shev v'al ta'aseh. The פירוש perush on פני המאורות pnei ha'meorot, he quotes the גמרא Gemara in קידושין ל\"ט Kiddushin lamed tes, which is ישב ולא עבר עבירה נותנין לו שכר כאילו עשה מצוה yashav v'lo avar aveira, nosnin lo schar k'ilu asa mitzvah. Do you know sometimes if you're passive, you had the opportunity, you had this incredible juicy gossip. You heard the most amazing thing that will give you great social standing when you're the one who gets to spread it and disseminate it, and you're the source of it. You have the juiciest piece of gossip to share. And you know what? You sit on your hands and you put a duct tape across your mouth, and you sit there on the couch and you hold it in and you don't tell anyone לשון הרע lashon hara. You get a מצוה mitzvah? Big deal, you'll say. You just didn't do the wrong thing. You didn't do the wrong thing. You don't get because you didn't do the wrong thing. We don't honor you with the dinner because you didn't do the wrong thing. Says the גמרא Gemara, no, we do. The גמרא Gemara in קידושין Kiddushin says, when you were able to muster the the courage and the energy and the fortitude to hold back from doing the wrong thing that you were so tempted and drawn to do, the Torah, Hashem treats it as if you did a מצוה mitzvah. ישב ולא עבר עבירה נותנין לו שכר כאילו עשה מצוה Yashav v'lo avar aveira, nosnin lo schar k'ilu asa mitzvah. שבזה שלא יניח לקוברו במצרים, יחשב לו לעשות חסד ואמת She'be'zeh she'lo yaniach l'kovro b'Mitzrayim, yechashev lo l'asos chesed v'emes. Now you'll say, you'll say, what do you mean, you're not burying him in Mitzrayim? You have to bury him somewhere. So that is an active thing. I saw some of you shaking your head. You didn't like the Vizhnitzer's question. I need, I have something I need you to do. Don't bury me in Mitzrayim. But you're forgetting that there was a very long period of time where Yosef was in limbo. He was neither buried in Mitzrayim, nor did he find his final resting place in ארץ ישראל Eretz Yisrael, in שכם Shechem. It wasn't until 210 years later when they take his bones and his coffin that causes the sea to split and משה Moshe himself carries them, or those who became טמא מת tamei meis and needed the פסח שני Pesach Sheini. Everyone else was looking for the golden silver that washed up and Moshe was busy looking for עצמות יוסף atzmos Yosef. So, it was passive. Yosef layed in limbo until he'd have that final resting place, that final burial. He said, even until then, in this transition time, אל נא תקברני במצרים al na sikbereini b'Mitzrayim. I don't want to be in the soil. I do not want to be immersed. I do not want to be attached or connected to this morally depraved, corrupt place. Don't bury me here. And they acquiesced, they listened, they fulfilled the promise. So again, that was the Vizhnitzer's question. They fulfilled not doing something. So why does the Torah call that do me, do me a good, do me a solid? And the answer is this גמרא Gemara in קידושין Kiddushin teaching us that lesson, that even when you don't do the bad, the Torah treats that as if you did the good. פרק מ\"ח פסוק ט\"ו Perek mem ches, pasuk tes vav. So the parsha continues. Yaakov gets sick and Yosef comes to strengthen him and they have this conversation about make me the promise. פרק מ\"ח פסוק ט\"ו Perek mem ches, pasuk tes vav. They have the, I always say every year, because I love this language of the Torah. There's a lot to talk about, we've talked about it previously, but he talks about רחל Rachel. ואני בבאי מפדן מתה עלי רחל V'ani b'voi m'padan meisa alai Rachel. Like, like להבדיל l'havdil. My page 270, פסוק ז' pasuk zayin. I'm not speaking about it, I'm just in passing. When I was coming from Padan Aram, מתה עלי רחל meisa alai Rachel. Like that's how you talk about your car. Would you believe my car died on me? Would you believe that I've had this laptop for five years and I was writing this important speech, and my laptop died on me. And you know what else died on me? מתה עלי רחל Meisa alai Rachel. Would you believe Rachel up and died on me? She died on me. מתה עלי רחל Meisa alai Rachel. מתה עלי רחל Meisa alai Rachel. There's actually something very beautiful and romantic in מתה עלי רחל Meisa alai Rachel. בדרך כנען בעוד כברת ארץ לבוא אפרתה ואקברה שם בדרך אפרת היא בית לחם B'derech Knaan b'od kivras eretz lavo Efrasa v'ekb'reha sham b'derech Efras hi Beis Lachem. If you look at the text itself, actually, it's totally extraneous. It has nothing to do with this promise. Yaakov is about to make Yosef promise, don't bury me in Mitzrayim. And in the middle, he inserts the story, your mother up and died on me. She died on me. Can you believe I changed the oil every six months? And I replaced the windshield washer fluid and I had her, you know, waxed in the car wash and took good care of her. And then the last, would you believe she died on me? On the, on the highway. On the side of the highway. מתה עלי רחל Meisa alai Rachel. בדרך B'derech. She died on me on the side of the highway. It's a funny formulation, but in other ways, a very beautiful and romantic formulation. And the whole notion that Yaakov inserts it here is itself romantic, because it has nothing to do with anything. But Yaakov can't talk about his passing and his transition to the next world without thinking about his beloved Rachel. Without thinking about his Rachel, who מתה עלי meisa alai. She died on him. We were supposed to grow old together. We were supposed to have a future together. We were supposed to go to the שמחות smachos of our children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren together. And מתה עלי רחל meisa alai Rachel, she died on me. What happened to our plan? What happened to our promise? She died on me. There's something very beautiful about it. It's worth looking more at those psukim. We're not going to do it now. פרק מ\"ח פסוק ט\"ו Perek mem ches, pasuk tes vav, the next page. ויברך את יוסף ויאמר Vayevarech es Yosef vayomar. He gives a bracha to Yosef and he says האלקים אשר התהלכו אבותי לפניו אברהם ויצחק haElokim asher hishalchu avosai l'fanav Avraham v'Yitzchak. האלקים הרועה אותי מעודי עד היום הזה HaElokim haroeh osi mei'odi ad hayom hazeh. Oh, so beautiful. Yaakov tells Yosef, he gives him a bracha, and he says, the Ribono Shel Olam. How can I describe Hashem? The special deity, the special father that I have in heaven, with whom I have this incredible relationship. How can I describe him to you? How can I identify him for you? Let me tell you, he is האלקים אשר התהלכו אבותי לפניו אברהם ויצחק haElokim asher hishalchu avosai l'fanav Avraham v'Yitzchak. My forefathers walked in front of him, Avraham and Yitzchak, my father and my zaide. האלקים HaElokim, he is the God who is הרועה אותי מעודי עד היום הזה haroeh osi mei'odi ad hayom hazeh. What does הרועה haroeh mean? He shepherds me. מעודי Mei'odi, from my inception, from when I came to be until עד היום הזה ad hayom hazeh. Isn't it a beautiful description of the Ribono Shel Olam, האלקים הרועה haElokim haroeh, the God הרועה haroeh. So the רמב\"ן Ramban here writes, הרועה haroeh, פרק מ\"ח פסוק ט\"ו perek mem ches, pasuk tes vav. Anyone still bringing their מקראות גדולות Mikraos Gedolos? Those days are long over. The Ramban writes, הרועה אותי haroeh osi. יקרא אביו אלקיו אבותיו, אשר הורה הגדול ועשו עמו עמוס הגדלות ונוראות, ויקרא אלקי האמת שהוא רואה אותי מעודי, ויתכן שיהא הרועה אותי מגזרת רעך ורע אביך אל תעזוב, כי במידה היא שלום ורעות, ומלאך הגואל הוא עונה אותו בעת צרתו yikra aviv elokei avosav asher hora hagadol v'oso imom os hagedolos v'hanoraos, vayikra elokei ha'emes shehu roeh osi mei'odi, v'yitachen she'yehei haroeh osi migzras re'acha v're'a avicha al ta'azov, ki b'mida hi shalom v'reus, v'hamalach hagoel hu ono oso b'eis tzaroso. So says the Ramban, you know what the word הרועה haroeh, shepherd, comes from? It comes from the word רע re'a, or friend. Our friend. Says the Ramban, the Ribono Shel Olam, what Yaakov was saying is, you know, from my inception, from when I came into this world until this day, you know who my best friend on the planet is? It's the Ribono Shel Olam. He's always there, and he always listens, and he's always available, and he always comes through, and he's always with me. My best friend, my most loyal confidant on the planet from the day I was born until today. Not a fair-weather friend, and not a friend only in good times, and not a friend who got distracted by his own life, but the friend I could rely and depend on. הרועה אותי Haroeh osi. Simple פשט pshat, the simple understanding of הרועה אותי haroeh osi is that he is the one who shepherded me. But the Ramban says no, it's not that he shepherded me, הרועה אותי haroeh osi, who served as my friend, as my confidant. The Ribono Shel Olam. That's how Yaakov is describing to Yosef his relationship with Hashem. Isn't that our job to teach our children and grandchildren? I'm in a relationship. Hashem is my best friend. Not just do this, don't do this, go there, light that, say this, wear this, it's Yom Tov, it's Shabbos, get ready. Not just do's and don'ts. That's not what Yahadus, not what Judaism is, and it's not what's going to enable it to survive. If we want a continuity, we have to tell the story Yaakov told his children to our children, namely the story of האלקים הרועה אותי haElokim haroeh osi, the God who shepherded me through my life, the God who connected the dots, the God who created the opportunities, the God who came through for me the way he did for Yaakov. Let me tell you my family narrative. Let me tell you my personal story. Not one in which I take credit, and not one in which I blame others, but let me tell you the version of the story where Hashem was with me all along. The Ribono Shel Olam was pulling the strings and brought me to this point and created the family that we have. I need to tell that story like Yaakov does to Yosef and his children. האלקים הרועה אותי HaElokim haroeh osi. The story of how Hashem shepherds us, but also the story of how Hashem is our best friend. He's our רע re'a. Rashi, the Gemara on Shabbos gives an amazing פשט pshat to the famous story we all know. The Gemara Shabbos Lamed Alef of Hillel and the Ger, the potential convert, the conversion candidate comes to Hillel and says, \"Tell me the whole Torah on one foot.\" And what does Hillel tell him? The essence of Torah, the עיקר ikar of Torah is what one should not do to one's friend, what he wouldn't want done on himself. That's what Hillel answers. That's it? That's, that's part of Torah. Part of Torah is interpersonal. The part of Torah is also our responsibility to Hashem, to ourselves. It's a lot of mitzvos. So Rashi there on the Gemara on Shabbos, look it up, Shabbos Lamed Alef, Amid Alef. Rashi on that Gemara says, \"You know who the רע re'a, don't do to your friend what you wouldn't want done to yourself. Do you know who the friend is that Hillel was talking about?\" The friend is the Ribono Shel Olam. Hashem is a member of the group, a comrade, a compatriot. Hashem is a friend. There's no sense of a rule from above, of transcendence, of supremacy. There's no royal pride or inaccessibility, but rather it's intimacy and closeness. Hashem is our friend. And that's what Hillel was saying. Have a relationship. You want to know what Judaism's all about? Conversion candidate, you want to join our people? It's not about you. Don't join our people because you think that if you're now a Jew, it'll open doors for you. If you're a Jew, you'll be rich. If you're a Jew, you'll eat all kinds of delicacies. If you're a Jew, you'll get all kinds of jobs. It's not, don't become a Jew because it's gonna serve you. Become a Jew if you understand that the עיקר ikar of Judaism is don't do to your friend what you wouldn't want done to you. You wouldn't want someone being disloyal to you, don't be disloyal to Hashem. You wouldn't want somebody ignoring, neglecting you, don't ignore and neglect Hashem. That's how Rashi understands Hillel's answer to that conversion candidate. And you see this, one of the places, the pasuk in Bamidbar. תרועת מלך בו Truas melech bo, should be understood as תרועת מלך truas melech, a God man community. The תרועת truas, he's a מלך melech, but תרועת truas, he's a רע re'a. He's a רע re'a. You get into the תרועה trua, the whole the שופר shofar, not for now, but when we think of a shepherd, what is a shepherd if not harnessing and cultivating a sense of loyalty and friendship? The shepherd becomes the friend of the flock, cares genuinely and deeply about the flock, and that's why goes through the experience of of shepherding. פסוק כ' Pasuk chaf. We already saw this. ויברכם ביום ההוא לאמר Vayevarchem bayom hahu leimor that Yaakov gave the bracha to Menashe and Ephraim saying, what was the bracha? וברכם Vayevarchem. What was the bracha? Said Reb Meir Shapiro, the bracha was ביום ההוא bayom hahu. Learn to live in the here and now. Don't forfeit the moment. בך יברך ישראל לאמר ישימך אלהים כאפרים וכמנשה B'cha yevarech Yisrael leimor yisimcha Elokim k'Efraim v'chi'Menashe. They will in perpetuity bless their children to be like you, like Ephraim and Menashe. וישם את אפרים לפני מנשה Vayasem es Efraim lifnei Menashe. And he puts Ephraim before Menashe. Why does he put Ephraim before Menashe? Is that the correct order? So why does he put Ephraim before Menashe? So, again, we've discussed in the past, most of this, we do read the same parsha every year, so a lot of it we've discussed in the past, and yet there's always more, always more to discuss. We've discussed in the past the whole episode of the switching of the hands, what was Yosef thinking, what was Yaakov thinking, Yosef tried to correct Yaakov, Yaakov didn't. What was going on with the whole switcheroo with the hands? Not for now. But he put Ephraim before Menashe. And says the קדושת לוי Kiddushei Levi, says רב לוי יצחק מברדיטשוב Reb Levi Yitzchak of Berditchev, you know why he put Ephraim before Menashe? Because Yaakov was communicating something so important to Yosef. Yosef put Menashe before Ephraim. And who's Menashe? What's he named for? כי נשני אלקים את כל עמלי Ki nashani Elokim es kol amali. God caused me to forget all of my hardship. Yes, the past was difficult and laced with pain, but Hashem has caused me the ability to endure and to move on nonetheless. Ephraim derives his name from where? כי הפרני אלקים בארץ עניי Ki hifrani Elokim b'eretz onyi, because I've been able to propagate and promulgate, I've been able to spread, כי הפרני אלקים ki hifrani Elokim, even in this land of challenges, I've been able to thrive and be filled with bracha. One is the סור מרע sur mei'ra and one of the עשה טוב asei tov. One is the avoid the negative and the other is run to the good. And Yosef thinks, you know, methodologically, strategically, you have to start with סור מרע sur mei'ra and then you can get to the עשה טוב asei tov. And comes Yaakov and he says, \"Hey, buddy, son, here in גלות golus, if all your children and grandchildren are going to hear is the מנשה Menashe story, all they're going to hear is כי נשני ki nashani, כל עמלי kol amali, that it's to be a yid, everything they have to abstain from, all the סור מרע sur mei'ra, they're going to bail out. They're going to book out. They're going to drop it. They're not going to be interested. Here in this גלות golus, you need to introduce the אפרים Efraim before the מנשה Menashe. The beauty and the elevation, the wonder and the glory and the greatness and the joy and the happiness and the love. Ephraim has to go before Menashe if our story is going to have a continuity. That's what Yaakov was telling Yosef. Yosef thought methodologically, if you're if you have convictions, so you start with סור מרע sur mei'ra and then you get to עשה טוב asei tov. To which Yaakov was responding, \"No, maybe in the perfect world that order might be true. But here in the גלות golus, here in a world of temptation and opportunity, here in a world where it's easy to drop it and walk away, assimilate and integrate, you better emphasize the אפרים Efraim before the מנשה Menashe. You have to emphasize the good and the pleasant and the pleasurable and the attraction and the joy. You have to make the argument about why to be a Jew before you just talk about they hate us. Before you just get to the כי נשני אלקים ki nashani Elokim. So Reb Levi Yitzchak says very, very beautifully, the Ephraim has to come before the Menashe. The Menashe is all about the past and the negative, and the Ephraim is all about the future and the build and the here and now, and the here and now. Again, I'm giving you a little bit of a preview to wet your appetite for tonight, but that was also part of the greatness of Rabbi Tites. Rabbi Berel Wein said that he went into רבנות Rabbonus and he switched from being a successful lawyer because when he heard from other רבנן Rabbonim, particularly European one, was all about the world they lost. All he heard from them was about who was murdered and who was killed and who was lost and what's gone. And what he heard from Rabbi Tites, he was introduced to a world that he was going to build, of what will be, of what he could create, of a bright future. And that spoke to him. There's a מנשה Menashe where you focus on, and there's the אפרים Efraim. You know, the Lubavitcher Rebbe had a שיטה shita. The Lubavitcher Rebbe's opinion was not to talk about the Holocaust. You could agree, disagree, certainly we have a commitment to keep the memory of the Holocaust alive, but the Lubavitcher Rebbe believed, he believed strategically that the future of Jews in America would not be solidified by harping on the horror of the past. All that will do is bring us down. All that will do is bring great sadness. All that will do is bring pessimism and hopelessness. And therefore, it was only one occasion he spoke about the Holocaust in a פארברענגען Farbrengen, and that was after other גדולים Gedolim spoke about why the Holocaust happened. He felt a need to come to the defense of the קדושים Kedoshim who were murdered in the Holocaust. חלילה Chalila, no one had a right to suggest they knew why God did what he did or that it was any fault of those who were gone. The only time he spoke about the Holocaust was he felt a need in a פארברענגען Farbrengen to stand up and defend, which was consistent with who he was, the Lubavitcher Rebbe, to stand up and defend the memory of the קדושים Kedoshim who were lost. That was the only time. But he believed that otherwise, we don't talk about. We don't define our Judaism by by the Holocaust and by the Shoah, it's not who we are. It's an interesting thing. He was ahead of his time because, you know, the the polls show today that today's millennial younger people, younger Jews, they don't want this Holocaust obsession. Not that they've moved on, חס ושלום chas v'shalom, anyone could move on from that atrocity, but they don't want their Judaism to be out of guilt, out of the negativity, out of the horror of the Holocaust. Paint a picture of who we're meant to be, how we're meant to transform the world, how the world needs our timeless messages more than ever. That was the Lubavitcher Rebbe's thinking, and that's what Rabbi Tites did, and that's what Yaakov is telling Yosef, \"Ephraim before Menashe.\" וישם את אפרים לפני מנשה Vayasem es Efraim lifnei Menashe. Before you're going to talk about כי נשני את כל עמלי nashani es kol amali, before you're going to talk about the Holocaust, the Crusades, the Inquisition, the misery, the hardships, before you get to Ephraim, talk about the future, כי הפרני hifrani, because God caused me to spread, and my brightest and best is yet ahead, and what we're going to build, and what we're going to create. That's really what it's all, that's really what it's all about, says the קדושת לוי Kiddushei Levi and Rabbi Tites. So we give a bracha to our kids on Friday night to be like, to be like Ephraim and Menashe. Why? We've shared a couple reasons in the past. I want to very quickly share a couple more, a couple more right now. But this is very meaningful to me. I mentioned in the drasha last year, the brachos were always very sacrosanct in my home growing up. My parents are here now, and they still are today. Wherever my parents are in the world, and they they uh split their time between Israel and here, they give a bracha virtually to whichever children and grandchildren they're not with physically present. So whether it's before Shabbos over a FaceTime or whether it's on a Friday night when my parents are at my home today, you still look at my father and you see he closes his eyes and he thinks and gives the bracha to each of his children and grandchildren. It's a מנהג ישראל minhag Yisrael to bless our children. Baruch Hashem, one I've adopted. I've given my children brachos since they're born, and I now give my son-in-law a bracha. I didn't really ask him, but I did ask his father-in-law for, his father for permission. And Baruch Hashem, now over FaceTime, the little three-month old over FaceTime, I put my hand on his head and I give him a bracha. And last Friday, he even smiled when I did it. It's probably indigestion, but I'm going to believe it was because I'd like to believe it's because his Zayde gave him a bracha. Anyway, where did it come from? Where did this minhag come from? To give a bracha to our children. Not everybody has the minhag, and I'm not judging someone who doesn't have the minhag. All I'll tell you is you're out of your mind if you don't give your kids a bracha. I'm not judging you. I'm just saying you're crazy. I'm just say, and I'm not saying you should change the minhag of your family. I'm just telling you you're nuts, crazy, and out of your mind if in the world we're living in and what could happen to our children and grandchildren, you don't want to pause once a week to give a bracha for the well-being of your children and your grandchildren, your great-grandchildren? Baruch Hashem. So where does this minhag come from? Where does it come from? So this pasuk, וברכם Vayevarchem, and he says that בך יברך ישראל b'cha yevarech Yisrael, they're going to give that bracha. Ephraim and Menashe are relatively obscure personalities in Tanach. We don't have a whole lot of Ephraim and Menashe. So of all the opportunities to give a bracha on a Friday night, at least our sons, our daughters, we give others, but our sons, why not Avraham, Yitzchak and Yaakov? Why not Moshe and Aharon? Why not David and Shlomo? Why are we giving a bracha, Ephraim and Menashe, these obscure personalities? Why not? Ephraim and Menashe don't make it. They're not the Zayin Ro'im. They're not among the seven shepherds. They're not, they don't make it into the Sukkah. I don't think anyone here has in their Ushpizin chart a picture of Ephraim and Menashe. So they don't qualify, they don't get the invite to the Sukkah party. They're not on the invite for the Ushpizin, and yet that's where we're giving the bracha to be like. Where does it come from? Rav Chaim David Halevi in his shuva Aseh L'cha Rav says that he looked high and far and he could not find the source for the minhag to give a bracha on a Friday night. So he offers his own suggestion. The Magen Avraham in Siman Resh Ayin Daled of Avraham Gambina, the Magen Avraham writes that there is a minhag in his time לנשק ידי אמו בליל שבת ויום טוב l'nashek yedei imo b'leil Shabbos v'Yom Tov. There was a minhag in the time of the Magen Avraham to give your mother a kiss on her hand on Friday night. We would call it Eishes Chayil. We give a virtual kiss. Right? Friday night, you're sitting down at the table, it's not a sexist comment. The assumption certainly in the time of the Magen Avraham a couple centuries ago was that the mother who did the shopping and the cooking and prepared the meal, and you're about to sit down and enjoy the beautiful delicacies of a great Shabbos meal, they'd give a kiss to the mother on her hand. לנשק ידי אמו בליל שבת ויום טוב L'nashek yedei imo b'leil Shabbos v'Yom Tov. To kiss the mother's hand. So Rav Chaim David Halevi sees this Magen Avraham and says, perhaps the origin of giving our children a bracha is that when a father sees a child with gratitude to the mother, he wants to give that child a bracha. The bracha is the reaction, is the pride, is the joy in seeing the child, the next generation who are willing to give the mother a kiss, who are willing to feel הכרת הטוב hakaras hatov, who are willing to say thank you. That's reason number one. Others explain that we specifically give this because this is the reason we've shared in the past, whole ספר בראשית Sefer Bereshis is the story of sibling rivalry, going all the way back to Cain and Abel and Yaakov and his brothers. And finally we have Menashe and Ephraim who the older defers to the younger. There's a love, a loyalty, a mutual admiration, a respect. Finally we've encountered a generation that is not defined by sibling rivalry but sibling love. We turn to our children and we say, \"Them? Be like them. Be just like them.\" There's no Yitzchak and Ishmael, no Yaakov and Esav, no Yosef and brothers, no Cain and Abel, Menashe, they got along? That's who we want you to be like. So when we give the bracha, it's to be like, it's to be like them. The Matovah Ma'naim, Shevet Achim Gam Yachad, the shalom bayis of the candle illuminates a vision of our children all getting along. A third suggestion of the twelve sons and their families, Ephraim and Menashe are the only ones raised in the golus, outside of Israel. And that we in the golus turn to our children and say just like Menashe and Ephraim didn't go off to college and lose and drop their Judaism, they would never entertain intermarrying, they never lost their passion and their vigor, they clung tenaciously to the teachings and traditions of their forefathers, that is our hope and our aspiration for you, for you as well. A fourth suggestion, Rav Moshe Sternbach in his Taam V'Daas, he says the following: that when the Torah says you give a bracha to be like Ephraim and Menashe, it doesn't mean to be like Ephraim and Menashe per se, what it means is give a bracha like Ephraim and Menashe got a bracha. Here the parsha is beginning with Yaakov specifically inviting, encountering, engaging Ephraim and Menashe to give them a bracha, that we too need to set aside time to give that bracha. With the pace of life moving so fast and with so many distractions around us, we forget to sometimes pause and see the bracha right in front of us and be the bracha for the people around us. And what we're learning from Menashe and Ephraim, what we're learning from this episode of Yaakov is to give a bracha. So we say בך יברך b'cha yevarech doesn't mean to be like you, this fourth suggestion of Moshe Sternbach says, it doesn't mean to be like you per se, but it means to be like you in the sense of designating and spending time to be able to give a bracha. Okay, I had a thousand more things to say, but let me just choose one more. A thousand more things to say, let me choose one more. Ay ay ay. Perek mem tes, pasuk tes vav. Perek mem tes. He goes and gives very funny brachos. Imagine you call your children close, you want to give a bracha. Usually when you want to give a bracha you say, \"Here are the trusts on estates and the wills, here's my bracha that you should be a בן תורה ben Torah, a ירא שמים yirei Shamayim, a בת תורה bas Torah, you should grow, give נחת naches.\" That's a bracha. What's this bracha? יהודה Yehuda, you impetuous לוי Levi and you, this. This is a bracha. The bracha is, \"Let me tell you everything wrong with yourselves.\" That in fact is a bracha. When a parent cares enough to say, \"Here's what I think you need to work on,\" and I share it with you out of love, that is a bracha. This is another conversation, but it's the opposite of the bracha that people mistakenly think is a bracha but is a curse of helicopter parenting. Helicopter parenting, the trophy, the the participation trophy. You're all looking at me, you have no idea what I'm talking about. You know what a participation trophy is? Participation trophy is everybody who participated gets a trophy. There's no winner, there's no loser, because that would make someone feel bad. We don't want anyone to feel bad, so everyone gets a trophy. A participation trophy society, that's what we live in. So we live in a world where everyone is the best and everyone is perfect and everyone is equally great and everyone should have an opportunity and everyone gets a trophy in life until you graduate to the real world and that's just not true. The real world where now you have to have resumes and people you're going for an interview to get married, and your resume is being evaluated based on the most silly criteria, and all of a sudden there goes the helicopter parenting, participation trophy, everyone's equal, everyone's the best. Nobody's the best, nobody's good enough in fact, for my child.So the best parenting is not the one when you say, you're perfect, you're amazing, everything's great, you're a wonderful. The perfect parenting, I always walk into, I always walk in. On the rare occasions I've gone to parent teacher conferences, I walk in and I say, what did my kid do wrong? I know for those teachers, Yocheved likes to say that when we were children, when we were children, not she and I, although I'm sure it's probably true for she and I, when we were children, so children used to shake on parent teacher conference night, worried what the parents are going to come home and how much trouble they're going to be in. Now, the teachers shake on parent teacher conference night, worried to hear from the parents of everything they've done wrong and why the child is perfect. I can't believe you gave him this grade, and you gave him this fake test, and I heard you reprimanded them in this way, and you're not teaching enough, and you don't bestow enough love, and that's the generation that we're living in. So I try to, the rare times that I've gone, have tried to be the opposite. I sit down, I tell the teacher, you're perfect, you do everything right. Tell me what's wrong with my child. Because that's the job, is to give the teacher the benefit of the doubt. And I think that's a bigger ברכה bracha to your children, and that's the ברכה bracha that יעקב Yaakov gives to his children as he says, you're amazing and I love you, and that's a given. Now let me tell you what you need to work on. That's the ברכה bracha I want to leave you with, is how you could be the best version of yourself. And the only way you'll be the best version of yourself is if I'm able to tell you what you need to work on. Anyway, the one last thing, פסוק ט\"ו pasuk tes vov.That wasn't it. פסוק ט\"ו Pasuk tes vov, bottom of page 278. יהי דן נחש Yehi Dan nachash. Yeah. Where am I? Sorry, פרק perek, פסוק ט\"ו pasuk tes vov. וירא מנוחה כי טוב ואת הארץ כי נעמה Vayar menucha ki tov v'es ha'aretz ki na'eimah. ויט שכמו לסבול ויהי למס עובד Vayeit shichmo lisbol vayehi l'mas oveid. This is the ברכה bracha he gives to יששכר Yissachar. יששכר Yissachar is strong like a donkey, רובץ בין המשפתים roveitz bein hamishpetayim, he rests between the boundaries. וירא מנוחה Vayar menucha, he saw peace and tranquility. He saw rest. כי טוב Ki tov, that rest is good. ואת הארץ כי נעמה V'es ha'aretz ki na'eimah, and the land that it's נעים na'im, that it's pleasant. ויט שכמו לסבול Vayeit shichmo lisbol, but he bent his shoulder to bear. ויהי למס עובד Vayehi l'mas oveid, and he became a laborer. He became an indentured laborer. What is this ברכה bracha? What does this mean?So רבי יצחק מוורקא Rav Yitzchak meVorka says the following פשט pshat. וירא מנוחה כי טוב Vayar menucha ki tov. That if a person wants מנוחה menucha, you want rest and you want tranquility and you want happiness and you want peace in your life, ויט שכמו לסבול vayeit shichmo lisbol, then you have to learn לסבול lisbol, סבלנות savlanut. You have to learn סבלנות savlanut. What is סבלנות savlanut? So people mistakenly translate the word סבלנות savlanut as patience. But what is patience? Rav Volbe writes that the word סבלנות savlanut, לסבול lisbol, we're going to read starting next week in ספר שמות Sefer Shmos, that they were crumbling and suffering תחת סבלות מצרים tachas sivlos Mitzrayim, under the patience of מצרים Mitzrayim? סבלות Sivlos doesn't mean patience, סבלנות savlanut, because it doesn't mean under the... סבלנות savlanut means the burden. לסבול Lisbol, תחת סבלות מצרים tachas sivlos Mitzrayim is, they were crumbling under the burden of מצרים Mitzrayim. סבלנות Savlanut is the ability to bear the burden and to be calm. It's to live with whatever life throws your way and not get bent out of shape. סבלנות Savlanut, a more accurate translation is not patient, but forbearing. It's the ability to absorb whatever happens and not get bent out of shape, and not lose your cool, and not concede your health, your physical, mental, emotional, spiritual health. So I love this interpretation. Says רבי יצחק מוורקא Rav Yitzchak meVorka, וירא מנוחה כי טוב Vayar menucha ki tov, if you crave מנוחה menucha, you want peace and tranquility and happiness in your life, then the answer for it is not to get peace and happiness around you because nobody has that opportunity. The answer is ויט שכמו לסבול vayeit shichmo lisbol, lean in your shoulder and learn how to have סבלנות savlanut. Be forbearing. Learn how to absorb whatever life throws your way. Learn how to not be anxious and not be angry, learn how to accept it in a forbearing way, and you'll discover the מנוחה menucha that we all crave. Wishing everyone not an easy fast, but a meaningful, transformative, uplifting fast. And hopefully see you tonight at seven.
