Transcript
Boker tov, good morning to all. It's wonderful to resume the פרשה Parsha class together. We have the privilege this week of studying פרשת אחרי מות Parshas Acharei Mos, page 636 in the Artscroll Stone חומש Chumash. Often אחרי מות Acharei Mos and קדושים Kedoshim are read together. This year they're read separately. When they're together, אחרי מות Acharei Mos is often more neglected. קדושים Kedoshim is chock full of מצוות mitzvos. אחרי מות Acharei Mos is a little bit more depressing. It speaks after the death of Aaron's two sons. And then the laws of יום כיפור Yom Kippur and the laws of עריות arayos of promiscuous relationships. So but this year we have the privilege of studying אחרי מות Acharei Mos a little bit more in depth without it having to compete with פרשת קדושים Parshas Kedoshim. So I'll try to give it a little overview and then I want to study this piece that was handed out by רב חיים שמואלביץ Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz, שיחות מוסר Sichos Mussar, an incredible insight not only into the פרשה Parsha, but into our lives and a source of great inspiration.So our פרשה Parsha begins, וידבר השם אל משה אחרי מות שני בני אהרון בקורבתם לפני השם וימותו Vayidaber Hashem el Moshe acharei mos shnei bnei Aharon b'korvasam lifnei Hashem vayamusu. It's an allusion to we know the tragic death what should have been Aaron's happiest day, the inauguration of the משכן Mishkan, instead was marked by sadness, the sudden abrupt loss of his two sons, whose loss is inexplicable. The amount of opinions that are offered or suggestions put forth about why they were killed is evidence that no one knows exactly why it happened. And yet our פרשה Parsha is telling us Aaron bounced back. He was never the same again, someone who suffers such loss, certainly the loss of a child is never the same again, but he put one foot in front of the other and he had a service, he had a service to perform. And the פרשה Parsha is delineating which service, the service of יום כיפור Yom Kippur. The Torah tells us ויאמר השם אל משה דבר אל אהרון אחיך Vayomer Hashem el Moshe daber el Aharon achicha. השם Hashem told משה Moshe, speak to your brother Aaron, ואל יבוא בכל עת אל הקודש מבית לפרוכת v'al yavo b'chol eis el hakodesh m'beis laparoches, and he's not allowed to enter the sanctuary whenever he wants. He can't just come in at any time, which is what we're going to see momentarily, אל פני הכפורת אשר על הארון ולא ימות כי בענן אראה על הכפורת el pnei hakapores asher al ha'aron v'lo yamut ki b'anan eira'eh al hakapores. He can't just come in within the curtain in front of the cover of the ארון Aron, because he would die. If someone goes there uninvited, someone violates the sanctity of that space, it is a capital crime. When can they enter? כי בענן אראה על הכפורת Ki b'anan eira'eh al hakapores, השם Hashem says I will appear in a cloud. בזאת יבוא אהרון אל הקודש B'zos yavo Aharon el hakodesh. With this Aaron shall enter the קודש Kodesh, בפר בן בקר לחטאת ואיל לעולה b'par ben bakar l'chatas v'ayil l'olah. The Torah then tells us with the certain sacrifices and so on and so forth. So on יום כיפור Yom Kippur, dressed in the בגדי כהונה Bigdei Kehuna, in the garments of the כהן גדול Kohen Gadol, the high priest, and part of the service of יום כיפור Yom Kippur, only בזאת b'zos, only with that, can the כהן גדול Kohen Gadol enter the Holy of Holies. I'm not a big גמטריא gematria guy, those of you who know me know that. But I will tell you, there's a famous גמטריא gematria on that word בזאת b'zos. What does it mean בזאת b'zos? בזאת יבוא אהרון B'zos yavo Aharon. With this Aaron can enter. What is the בזאת b'zos? What is the with this?רש\"י Rashi writes, בזאת גמטריא של ארבע מאות ועשר רמז לשני בית ראשון b'zos gematria shel arba meos v'eser remez l'shnei bayis rishon. It's 410 years, which are the amount of years of the first בית bayis. That's רש\"י Rashi. בזאת B'zos is an allusion. But there's a famous גמטריא gematria. What's the גמטריא gematria? We say on the ימים נוראים Yamim Noraim, the pinnacle when ונתנה תוקף U'Netaneh Tokef, we just finished פסח Pesach, we're already up to the ימים נוראים Yamim Noraim. יוכבד Yocheved's grandfather at the סדר Seder, זכרונו לברכה zichrono livracha, a very special צדיק tzaddik, a תלמיד חכם talmid chacham, very special man. Many of you have seen the video that was done about his story in camp. Anyway, he used to end the פסח סדר Pesach seder every year, לשנה הבאה בירושלים L'Shana Haba'ah B'Yerushalayim, then he'd put his ear to the table, he'd say, if you listen carefully, you could hear the sound of the שופר shofar. As soon as פסח Pesach is over, if you listen carefully, you could already hear the sounds of the שופר shofar. So, it's עיצי פסח icei Pesach, so now it's time to talk about ימים נוראים Yamim Noraim. And in a rabbi's life, we're up to ימים נוראים Yamim Noraim. So we say on ונתנה תוקף U'Netaneh Tokef, the culmination, the climax, the חזן chazan with the stirring melody and tune brings us all, draws us all, pulls on our heart strings, and we proclaim at its conclusion, וּתְשׁוּבָה וּתְפִלָּה וּצְדָקָה מעבירין את רוע הגזירה u'teshuva, u'tefila, u'tzedaka, ma'avirin es roa ha'gzeira. Beautiful דביקות Dveikus tune to it. תשובה, תפילה, וצדקה Teshuva, tefila, and tzedaka help מעבירין ma'avirin. We won't give a whole שיעור shiur what that means. It doesn't say תשובה, תפילה, צדקה teshuva, tefila, tzedaka avert a רוע הגזירה roa ha'gzeira. It doesn't say that if you do תשובה teshuva and if you give צדקה tzedaka, and if you דאַווען daven with sincerity, authentically, then you will be inscribed for a wonderful year of goodness. It says it gives you the capacity to be מעבירין את רוע הגזירה ma'avirin es roa ha'gzeira. First of all, what's a רוע הגזירה roa ha'gzeira? Just get rid of the גזירה gzeira. What's the רוע roa of the גזירה gzeira? And why are you just מעבירין ma'avirin? Anyway, all that's for September, October time. So תשובה, תפילה, וצדקה teshuva, tefila, u'tzedaka. So if you look on top of the words תשובה, תפילה, וצדקה teshuva, tefila, u'tzedaka in the מחזור machzor, what words appear? צום, קול, וממון Tzom, kol, and mamon. תשובה Teshuva corresponds with צום tzom, we fast as a form of repentance. תפילה Tefila corresponds with קול kol, the voice of prayer. And צדקה tzedaka is ממון mamon, we use money to give charity. So you ready for this? Freedman's won't believe it, I'm not a גמטריא gematria guy. צום Tzom in גמטריא gematria is 136. קול Kol in גמטריא gematria is 136. ממון Mamon in גמטריא gematria is 136. 136 times 3 is 408. 408 in גמטריא gematria is the word זאת zos. בזאת יבוא B'zos yavo, you're a גמטריא gematria guy. We clearly have a גמטריא gematria guy. בזאת יבוא אהרון B'zos yavo Aharon. What's the זאת zos? You want to enter the קודש הקדשים Kodesh HaKodashim? Literally the קודש הקדשים Kodesh HaKodashim, figuratively the holiest space in life, you want to enter the קודש הקדשים Kodesh HaKodashim of life, בזאת b'zos. You need to take advantage of בזאת b'zos. And what's the גמטריא gematria of זאת zos? 408. You need קול, ממון, וצום kol, mamon, and tzom, תשובה, תפילה, וצדקה teshuva, tefila, and tzedaka. Only when we perfect ourselves, transform ourselves, improve ourselves through these three processes, then בזאת b'zos, with that זאת zos, that's when we can enter. For those who love גמטריאות gematrias, that is a famous, a famous גמטריא gematria. רב סולובייצ'יק Rav Soloveitchik has a different interpretation. What is the בזאת יבוא אהרון b'zos yavo Aharon? So the רב Rav writes, despite the exalted status of the כהן גדול Kohen Gadol, הלכה Halacha states that if he happens upon a dead body where no one has come forward to take care of the burial, what we call in הלכה Halacha a מת מצוה meis mitzvah, he must perform the function immediately even though by coming into contact with the corpse, he becomes impure and invalidates himself from participating in the עבודה avodah of יום כיפור Yom Kippur. The identity of the corpse makes no difference, whether it's the body of a king or a simple shepherd. All people carry with them the image of God. Mankind is redeemed only when the honor and the value of the individual are upheld simply on the basis of his humanity, not based on his position or accomplishment. בזאת B'zos. Says the רב Rav, what's this זאת zos? What is it that Aaron brings in to the קודש הקדשים Kodesh HaKodashim? What is it that gives him license to enter the קודש הקדשים Kodesh HaKodashim? The זאת zos with which he enters is his commitment and love to all humanity. That even though he can't defile himself, the כהן גדול Kohen Gadol doesn't even go to the to defile himself to loved ones, but yet, but yet, a מת מצוה meis mitzvah. A simple person. A person could be worth a billion dollars, the person could be worth one dollar or anything in between. A person of amazing prestige and prominence, of celebrity, of a lot of followers and friends online and offline, or the person could be a loner, person could be somebody who is somebody who is anonymous. Either way, the כהן גדול Kohen Gadol defiles himself specifically for that מת מצוה meis mitzvah. And the message is simple. The ultimate of holiness means treating everyone with dignity. Not a class system, but that everybody deserves our honor and everybody deserves our dignity. And that says the רב Rav is the בזאת b'zos. That's what he's bringing in. That's what he is, is bringing in. Okay. The פרשה parsha then continues, we're going to come back to, we're going to come back to one of the lessons, another one of the lessons of what we just read in a moment. But the פרשה parsha continues. So he comes in, בזאת b'zos, and he can only come in when הקדוש ברוך הוא Hakadosh Baruch Hu invites him. And then we have delineated the different בגדים begadim of the כהן גדול Kohen Gadol, what he's wearing. We have the שעיר המשתלח seir hamishtaleach. We have the two goats that are designated, that are identical in status and age and appearance, and yet one of them gets pushed off a cliff, and the other one is offered as a sacrifice. And the message there is very simple, that just as the randomness, the lottery that determines the fate, so to our lives are subject to lottery, i.e., the גורל goral of הקדוש ברוך הוא Hakadosh Baruch Hu. We think we're in control. We think that we are the arbiters of our own destiny, but really we submit to the רבונו של עולם Ribono Shel Olam, the Almighty is the one who's pulling the strings. And just as these two look identical and yet they have such different fates all determined by השם Hashem, so too our lives. You could have two people who have led identical lives till a certain point. They have similar IQ and similar education, similar skill set, similar personality, could have two siblings who have similar DNA, and yet one goes on to outrageous success and the other goes on to a lifetime of struggles, and the answer is גורל אחד וגורל אחד goral echad and goral echad. הקדוש ברוך הוא Hakadosh Baruch Hu pulls the strings. We don't always understand. That means that even the person who had the outstanding success should never get haughty or arrogant. Should realize, you know, there's plenty of other people who are as smart as me, who work as hard as I do, and yet they're not as successful as I am. Clearly the success is not because of me or me alone, and that should bring a sense of humility and a sense of appreciation. That is the essence, the theme of what goes into. Now the פסוק pasuk says, it's very interesting, ונשא השעיר עליו את כל עבונותם אל ארץ גזירה ושלח את השעיר במדבר v'nasa ha'seir alav es kol avonosam el eretz gzeira v'shilach es ha'seir bamidbar. The he-goat carries upon itself all the sins to a precipitous land, and you send off the goat into the desert. That is the פסוק pasuk. On these words, ונשא השעיר עליו את כל עבונותם v'nasa ha'seir alav es kol avonosam, the goat carries all the sins, the מדרש Medrash says to read the פסוק pasuk as follows. ונשא השעיר עליו V'nasa ha'seir alav, that's עשו Esav, as it says עשו Esav is שעיר seir. שער Se'ar, he was a hairy man. עבונותם Avonosam. What is עבונותם avonosam, all their iniquities? עונות תם Avonos tam. The sins, the iniquities, the mistakes of the תם tam. Who is the איש תם ish tam? יעקב Yaakov. So the מדרש Medrash says this פסוק pasuk is an allusion that this goat is atoning עשו Esav, יעקב Yaakov. שעיר Seir is עשו Esav, hairy, and עונות תם avonos tam, the mistakes of the איש תם ish tam, which was, which was of course, יעקב Yaakov. How do we understand the expression עונות תם avonos tam, the mistakes, the indiscretions of the simple person? We just read about, that was one of the four sons, the תם tam, the simple person. If this refers to the עבונותם avonosam, where's the תמימות temimus? In other words, עונות תם avonos tam seems like a contradiction. תם Tam means איש תם יושב אוהלים ish tam yoshev ohalim, תמים תהיה עם השם אלוקיך tamim tihiyeh im Hashem Elokecha. The word תם tam means that you are pure, you're innocent, you're straightforward with השם Hashem, you are without sin. So what does it mean to be עונות תם avonos tam, the mistakes of the one who is תם tam? If you're תם tam, there's no עונות avonos. If you're doing עונות avonos, you're not so תם tam. Everyone following the contradiction? You guys all still ate too much חמץ chometz, a little slow today. Too much מצה matzah, חמץ chometz after פסח Pesach. Still recovering. Okay. So, we'll try to go a little slower. So עונות תם avonos tam, how could the מדרש Medrash interpret עבונותם avonosam to be for יעקב Yaakov, the עונות תם avonos tam? If you're תם tam, there's no עונות avonos, if you do עונות avonos, you're not תם tam. רב סולובייצ'יק Rav Soloveitchik has a beautiful answer. He says, you know, every Jew at our essence, at our core, is a נשמה neshama that's תם tam. Simple, innocent, pure. There is a goodness, an איידלקייט edelkeit, there's a just, correct, righteous soul inside all of us. It yearns to do what's moral, what's ethical, what's correct, what's the will of השם Hashem, and what's kind to the people around us. But what happens? There are layers of stuff from our childhood, from people we interact with, from pain, from hurt we suffer, from experiences. There are, there's a יצר הרע yetzer hara which distracts us and which tempts us, there is an appetite for the wrong thing, and all of that ends up suffocating. It ends up covering the pure soul inside us that wants to fly free, that wants to soar, that wants to sing. Our mission in life is to not allow those other influences to distract or to compromise, to blemish, to taint, but to allow the pureness, the innocence, the goodness, the sweetness inside us to soar. You see this by the way, empirically. Children have such pure faces, there's an innocence, a sweetness, a smile. People are attracted, they're drawn, a little baby. What makes you want to hold a little baby? You want to give the baby back after the baby's diaper needs to change or they start crying or they're hungry. That's what they say the difference between being a parent and a grandparent. The grandparent can hand the baby back. But what draws people to look inside a stroller or a carriage or want to hold or coddle a baby, a child? There's a purity and innocence, they haven't been tainted by this world yet. They haven't been hardened, they haven't grown cynical, they haven't given into to temptation. There's still a purity, and we're all drawn to that purity, we're drawn to that innocence. Which piece of us is drawn to it? The תם tam, the innocence, the purity that still rests and reside inside ourselves. And the mission in life is to stay children, is to preserve that innocence that's in us and not to become, it's not all it's cracked up to be. I meet with a lot of children before their בר ובת מצוות bar and bat mitzvahs and I always tell them, what I tell them, stay a child at heart, take yourself seriously, take life seriously like an adult, but remain a child. רב שכטר Rav Schechter, my רבי rebbi, רב שכטר Rav Schechter loves to quote, שמואל הקטן Shmuel HaKatan was called שמואל הקטן Shmuel HaKatan. In, in, in the גמרא Gemara, שמואל הקטן Shmuel HaKatan. He was the one who composed ולמלשינים V'lamalshinim. And why is he called הקטן HaKatan? Is it derogatory, הקטן HaKatan? It's like you're, you know, you call someone a נאַר nar, נאַרישקייט narishkeit, that's derogatory, that's obnoxious. You're immature, you're undeveloped, you're unsophisticated. Why was he called הקטן HaKatan? Because when the people around him had grown cynical and sarcastic and had given into a יצר הרע yetzer hara, had been hardened to this world, he preserved the, the קטן katan, the innocence, the sweetness, the purity inside him. It wasn't derogatory, it wasn't an insult, it was a compliment. And a great compliment that we can give is to say that an adult has the purity, the innocence, the sweetness, the benefit of the doubt, the, the, the dreaming of a child, of a child. So that's עונות תם avonos tam. It's not a contradiction. There's a תם tam inside of us. Sometimes it gets neglected, other times even suffocated, and we end up performing עונות avonos. And the mission is to erase and to atone for the עונות avonos and to nourish and nurture and feed and bring out again the תם tam that's inside, that's inside us. It's such an important, it's such an important principle to understand, to believe in our children, to believe in the people around us. I think it's the driver of the מצוה mitzvah of ואהבת לרעך כמוך, אני השם V'ahavta L'reiacha Kamocha, Ani Hashem. Love your neighbor as yourself, I am God. What does I am God have to do with loving your neighbor as yourself? We're going to read it next week, but what does it mean love your neighbor as yourself, I am God? I am God and if you don't love your neighbor as yourself, I'm going to have lightning strike? Is that, it means to impose fear? It's a motivator? So I think no, what it means is, I am God and there's a piece of me in every human being, and find that piece of me in everyone else and you'll find something you can love. For some, the piece of God is right near the surface. It's easy to see the godliness in them. They're kind and compassionate and giving and gracious and good and just and honorable. That it's easy to love, it's easy to see the God in such people, to be drawn to that and to love them. Others, that godly soul is buried somewhere deep. You need to investigate and look and study and analyze. You need to have work hard to find any godliness in that person. For some it's very hard to discover. But yet השם Hashem says ואהבת לרעך כמוך V'ahavta L'reiacha Kamocha, love everyone. Why? אני השם Ani Hashem. Because I, God, who's the source of all good and purity, so anyone who carries my צלם אלוקים Tzelem Elokim is carrying a piece of God. For some it's at the surface, for others it's buried deep. Our mission is to find it in everyone and love that part of them. Find something redeemable in everyone we know. For some, again, it jumps right out. For others, ooh. It's hard to find that redeemable thing. But for everyone, you can find something redeemable. For everyone. And that's what we're supposed to love. That's the עבונותם avonosam, עונות תם avonos tam. Believe in everyone that there's a תם tam. Believe that there is an innocent, simple, pure soul still inside others, even when it seems they've erased it, even when it seems they've covered it up and it's not there, it is there. That's what informs the רמב\"ם's Rambam's position. We don't do this today, but if an individual is recalcitrant, he doesn't give his wife a גט get, so in the time of the גמרא Gemara and even beyond to the ראשונים Rishonim, not today, today you get arrested for doing it, but we'd beat someone up until they gave the גט get. I, how could you beat someone up until they give a גט get? You can't give a coerced גט get, גט מעושה get meusa is an invalid גט get. So the answer is, you're beating them up until, you're, you're beating them up, כופין אותו עד שיאמר רוצה אני kofin oso ad sheyomar rotzeh ani. What you're beating them up is until they say, you know what? I forgot, I really do want to do that. I thought that I didn't want to do it. I made a mistake. Your bat, your cattle prod, your, has reminded me that I, I forgot that the real me really, really, the real me really does want to do it. So, you know, we laugh at that, but the רמב\"ם Rambam means it sincerely. We, we are beating out of the person their essence. Their essence, we're beating out of them, עד שיאמר רוצה אני ad sheyomar rotzeh ani, who they really are and what they really want to accomplish. הקהה את שיניו Hakkei es shinav, the רשע rasha at the סדר Seder, the מחוצף רשע mechutzaf rasha at the סדר Seder, who's not such a רשע rasha, he made it to the סדר Seder. There's a fifth son who didn't even make it to the סדר Seder. So what do you do? You knock out his teeth, הקהה את שיניו hakkei es shinav, you knock out his teeth. You knock out his teeth. What is that? Violence? We're endorsing violence at the סדר Seder table, the הגדה Hagadah? So Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach, שיניו shinav is the letter ש shin. The ש shin is made up of three legs, the אברהם, יצחק, ויעקב Avraham, Yitzchak, and Yaakov. There's a פּינטעלע ייִד pintele Yid, there's a holy spark of a pure Jew inside everybody. Knock out the ש shin inside of him, bring out the אברהם, יצחק, ויעקב Avraham, Yitzchak, and Yaakov, remind a person where they come from. Bring out that pure soul which in some has been buried and needs to rehab, it needs to be developed, it needs to come out again. The לובאַוויטשער רבי Lubavitcher Rebbe, זכרונו לברכה zichrono livracha, used to say he would, it would bother him when someone would say, I have no background. Or, oh they have no background. Oh, you know so-and-so, or someone joined the שול shul or I met so-and-so, they don't really have a background, the Jewish background. So the לובאַוויטשער רבי Lubavitcher Rebbe used to say, they don't come from אברהם, יצחק, ויעקב Avraham, Yitzchak, and Yaakov? Of course they, every Jew has a background, by definition. We have a background, we come from אברהם, יצחק, ויעקב Avraham, Yitzchak, and Yaakov. So that's עבונותם avonosam, עונות תם avonos tam. Believe in everyone that there is a תם tam. Believe that there is an innocent, simple, pure soul still inside others, even when it seems they've erased it, even when it seems they've covered it up and it's not there, it is there. That's what we're supposed to love. That's the עבונותם avonosam, עונות תם avonos tam. Okay, let's go weiter in the פרשה Parsha, and then we'll come back to look at the beginning again and see this שיחת מוסר sichas mussar. Okay. ושלח את השעיר במדבר V'shilach es ha'seir bamidbar, you send the goat to the, to the desert, and we just do this little thing, don't tell PETA, but we push it off a cliff and it goes to it, it goes to its demise. Why are we pushing it off a cliff? It's a pretty graphic end. It's pretty violent, it's pretty horrific. What's the imagery? Rav Soloveitchik also said on many occasions and in many different contexts. It's a very brisker lomdus to analyze the situation and distinguish between what we call חפצא and גברא. חפצא means object. גברא means subject. So you look at a מצוה and you say, is the מצוה on the חפצא? Is this a דין in the חפצא or a דין in the גברא? Is this a דין in the object or is it a דין in the person? Is it a דין in the חפצא or is it a דין in the גברא? Rav Soloveitchik took this brisker חקירה, this lomdus, and applied it to ourselves and our attitude in life. A human being could either be a חפצא or a human being could be a גברא. When we exert, when we express initiative, when we take control of our lives, when we make choices, when we hold ourselves responsible, we're a גברא. We are a human being. We are expressing humanity. We're taking control. We're using our free will. And if we allow ourselves to be influenced by the יצר הרע, to be molded and shaped by society around us, if we allow ourselves to just passively be a, a result or a consolidation of all the influences, then we've allowed ourselves to be a חפצא. When a person sins, they're a חפצא. You let that voice of the יצר הרע act upon you. In other words, you can be an acting human, then you're a גברא. You could be acted upon, you've allowed yourself to be a חפצא. What's the difference between a human being and an object? An object is, an object is affected by gravity. If you drop an object, it falls. A human being, we exert influence over gravity. We stand upright, we walk, we climb, we ascend, we aspire. So the רב points out, you'll notice, you'll always find when the Torah makes reference to a failure of man, how does it describe? Failure is equated with falling. ירידה Yerida. וירד Vayered. You always have failure identified with falling. Why? Because if you turned yourself into an object, then you fall. If you remain a subject, a גברא, then you climb. So the choice we have in our life, and that's the imagery the רב explained of the goats pushed off the cliff, and it's described, you watch it freefall. You watch it fall, because that's the piece of us that allowed ourselves to fall. Are we a גברא or are we a חפצא? Are we a subject or are we an object? The choice is ours, and it defines, and it defines our lives. I, there's so much to say, ברוך השם. Amazing. Okay. What else? On with the, uh, oh, I want to say one other thing about the עבודה of יום כיפור. The פסוק describes that the כהן גדול, when he achieved כפרה, for whom was he achieving the כפרה? So the פסוק describes exactly the process with which he did it. וכפר בעדו. Where's the פסוק? I don't see it. For himself, his household, and he atones for all of Israel. Yeah. We all know it from the דאווענען. There it is, page 642, פסוק כף דלת. פסוק כף דלת. וכפר בעדו. The פסוקים describe, בעדו, בעד ביתו, ובעד כל העם. And on our יום כיפור דאווענען, our מוסף, the עבודה section of the מוסף reflects this. בעדו, בעד ביתו, בעד כל העם. He atones for himself, for his home, and for all the people. By the way, we learned from the word בעד ביתו. ביתו זו אשתו. חז\"ל understood ביתו means his home is his wife. That's why a כהן גדול had to be married. You were ineligible to perform the עבודה if you weren't married. We were worried something would happen to you with your wife, so they designated a backup. Not a good, don't try that at home. But we would seclude the husband, and there was a designated, בעדו, בעד ביתו. ביתו זו אשתו. You had to be married to be eligible to be the כהן גדול. But it's a very poor choice of words. It should have just said, בעד כל העם, which includes ביתו and בעדו. If you say he's going to atone for everyone, that includes your home, your family, and yourself. So why does it say first yourself, and then your family, and then your, and then everybody else, right? Classic question. So I've shared this with you before. The answer is, the answer is very simple. Because you can't hope to change anyone around you without first changing yourself. You can't influence בעד העם and you can't influence בעד ביתו if you don't first do בעדו. If your words don't match your actions, they say, who was it who said? Ralph Waldo Emerson who said, your actions speak so loud I can't hear what you're saying. Your actions are so loud I can't hear what you're saying. So we lecture our children, be honest and don't lie, and then we tell them, tell them I'm not home. We tell our children, always on your phone, put the phone away, and then they see us on our technology. We have to דאווען and come on time and not talk and they see it, we all know all the classic examples. The גמרא says in בבא מציעא דף ק\"ז: קשוט עצמך ואחר כך קשוט אחרים. First you have to examine yourself, and only afterwards can you examine others. Rav Samson Raphael Hirsch says קשוט in this context doesn't mean examine, it means be honest and truthful with yourself. We say in בריך שמיה, קשוט, בתורתא קשוט, נביאי קשוט, קשוט means true. So קשוט עצמך ואחר כך קשוט אחרים means first look in the mirror and be truthful to yourself. We're all very good at holding a mirror up to others, and we have a funny mirror that we look in ourselves. When it comes to ourselves, we look in a funny mirror that distorts things to make us look perfect. And when it comes to others, we hold up a mirror to show here are all your pimples and warts and failures and blemishes. So חז\"ל say, קשוט עצמך ואחר כך קשוט אחרים. First be truthful, show the capacity to be honest in addressing your own shortcomings before you point them out to anyone else. So therefore it's בעדו. First we have to work on ourselves, and only then בעד העם, and only then, only then בעד ביתו. You can influence your family, only then בעד העם. There's a quote, it's quoted in the name of Rav Yisrael Salanter, some say it in the name of the Chofetz Chaim, but it really didn't originate with either. It's an inscription on the tomb of an Angelican bishop in Westminster Abbey who lived a thousand years ago. But it's so good that we say it was Rav Yisrael Salanter or the Chofetz Chaim, but we should be loyal to the truth and say where it comes from. And what's the quote? Said the following, when I was young and free and my imagination had no limits, I dreamed of changing the world. As I grew older and wiser, I discovered the world would not change, so I shortened my sights somewhat and decided to change only my country, but it too seemed immovable. As I grew into my twilight years and one last desperate attempt, I settled for changing only my family, those closest to me, but alas, they would have none of it. And now as I lie on my deathbed, I suddenly realize, if I had only changed myself first, then by example, I would have changed my family. From their inspiration and encouragement, I would then have been able to better my country, and who knows, I may have even changed the world. Must be some large tombstone. But it's a beautiful quote. It's a beautiful quote, and that is the message. So this I've quoted before, but now I want to quote to you something new from my favorite אמרי חיים, the Vizhnitzer Rebbe. So the Vizhnitzer Rebbe says, you see this also elsewhere. It says, וְהַמְשַׁלֵּחַ אֶת הַשָּׂעִיר, the one who sends off the goat, יְכַבֵּס, he has to cleanse his clothing, וְרָחַץ אֶת בְּשָׂרוֹ בַּמָּיִם, he has to go in the mikvah, וְאַחֲרֵי כֵן יָבֹא אֶל הַמַּחֲנֶה, and only then can he come in the camp. Writes the אמרי חיים, רמז כדברי חז\"ל: קשוט עצמך תחילה ואחר כך קשוט אחרים. הוא יכבס ורחץ, ואחרי כן יבוא אל המחנה, אל הציבור, להדריך גם אותם. Before you can come back in the camp, and before you can give advice to others and tell them how to behave, before you can walk into the camp and teach and preach, first, וכיבס בגדיו ורחץ את בשרו במים, cleanse yourself. First look in the mirror, first cleanse yourself, first take care of yourself before you come in and try to preach or teach or cleanse or cleanse others. Okay, let's go weiter in the פרשה, and then we'll come back to look at the beginning again and see this שיחת מוסר. Okay. יום כיפור, we have the עבודה outside of the Tabernacle. Then the Torah comes and tells us you're not allowed to eat blood, lest any of you have an appetite or a desire. איש איש מבית ישראל ומן הגר הגר בתוכם אשר יאכל כל דם, ונתתי פני בנפש האוכלת את הדם, והכרתי אותה מקרב. If you eat blood, you get כרת kareis, you're cut off. כי נפש הבשר בדם היא Ki nefesh habasar badam hi. And why is that? Because the soul of the flesh is in the blood. ואני נתתיו לכם על המזבח לכפר על נפשותיכם כי הדם הוא בנפש יכפר V'ani nesativ lachem al hamizbeach lechaper al nafshoseichem ki hadam hu banefesh yechaper. The blood is the soul. The blood is the soul. We're not going to take the time now, but in רשיכתו על הפרשה Reshichto al haParsha, his essay on this week is all about the definition of brain death. All based on this פסוק pasuk. כי הדם הוא הנפש Ki hadam hu hanefesh. So if the soul, if life is defined by blood, then it means that the flow of blood represents life. The definition of death then is that an organ has a cessation of blood circulation. When the heart no longer sends oxygen in the blood to a particular organ, that's the definition of it being dead. Rav Moshe has a תשובה teshuva, and apparently it applied to him, because his own father suffered a stroke several months before he passed away and his arm was paralyzed. Do you tie תפילין tefillin on a paralyzed arm? Is the arm alive or dead? And Rav Moshe's conclusion is as long as there's a blood flow to the arm, it's called alive, even if you can't neurologically control it. And therefore you continue to tie תפילין tefillin on that arm. But if the arm were to be gangrene, if the arm were to have no blood flow, then it would be considered dead and you would not tie תפילין tefillin on it. Anyway, we're not going to go through it now, but Rav Shechter has a whole essay and his הלכתי halachic position on brain death comes from this פסוק pasuk, this understanding. This is also, there's a debate חבלה chavala, you're not allowed to make a wound on שבת Shabbos. What is the מלאכה melacha of חבלה chavala? You're not allowed to create a black and blue mark. You can't punch someone, you can't give a shot if it's going to draw blood. What's the מלאכה melacha of חבלה chavala? So there's a מחלוקת machlokes, what exactly, which מלאכה melacha, which of the 39 categories does it fall under? But Tosafos is of the opinion that חבלה chavala is נטילת נשמה netilas neshama. It's the מלאכה melacha of murder. How is it a מלאכה melacha of murder? A little prick in the finger with a little blood, a black and blue mark? So because הדם הוא הנפש hadam hu hanefesh. There's such a thing as partial murder. You could take someone's entire life, or if you draw blood, you've taken part of their life. All of this stems from this פסוק pasuk we're not going to take time. כי נפש הבשר בדם ki nefesh habasar badam, כי נפש ki nefesh, כי דם הוא בנפש יכפר ki dam hu banefesh yechaper. A very important פסוק pasuk. We have a מצוה mitzva of כיסוי הדם kisui hadam, which the Torah then continues. Is it a part of שחיטה shechita? Is it separate from שחיטה shechita? What's the nature of this מצוה mitzva? But we have a מצוה mitzva of כיסוי הדם kisui hadam of covering up the blood. Then the Torah gives us the list of forbidden relationships, all of the עריות arayos that we read on מנחה Mincha on יום כיפור Yom Kippur. The פרשה Parsha began with יום כיפור Yom Kippur and the עריות arayos that we read at מנחה Mincha on יום כיפור Yom Kippur. It's kind of a funny section to read on יום כיפור Yom Kippur, why that is, but we'll leave that for another time. We'll leave that for closer to, to יום כיפור Yom Kippur. The פסוק pasuk in this context says something amazing. First of all, the Torah says כמעשה ארץ מצרים k'maaseh eretz Mitzrayim, it introduces, I'm sorry. Bless you. פרק י\"ח פסוק ג' Perek yud-ches, pasuk gimmel. It introduces the עריות arayos. Go back to right before the עריות arayos. Page 648. פרק י\"ח פסוק ג' Perek yud-ches, pasuk gimmel. כמעשה ארץ מצרים אשר ישבתם בה לא תעשו ובמעשה ארץ כנען אשר אני מביא אתכם שמה לא תעשו ובחקותיהם לא תלכו K'maaseh eretz Mitzrayim asher yeshavtem bah lo sa'asu, u'v'maaseh eretz Kna'an asher ani meivi eschem shama lo sa'asu u'v'chukoseihem lo seileichu. Don't follow the practices, the customs, the culture of Egypt where you lived. Don't follow the practices of כנען Kna'an to which I bring you. Do not follow their traditions. ובחקותיהם לא תלכו U'v'chukoseihem lo seileichu. Don't walk in their ways. What is the Torah talking about here? What is it talking about? A specific עבירה aveira? What's it talking about? So the Sfas Emes points out, the Gerer Rebbe, the Torah is not talking about specific איסורים issurim, specific prohibitions, because that we have separate פסוקים psukim for. In the delineation of מצוות mitzvos, the Torah separately tells us do this and don't do this. We have מצוות עשה, מצוות לא תעשה mitzvos asei, mitzvos lo sa'asei. This umbrella mandate, כמעשה ארץ מצרים k'maaseh eretz Mitzrayim is not talking about a specific prohibited act. So what is it talking about? Said the Gerer Rebbe, the Sfas Emes, here it's saying generally, Jewish people we need to distinguish ourselves. Our values, our ideals, our aspirations are not defined by the rest of the world. That we shouldn't be molded and shaped by the rest of the world. We have uniquely Jewish values and Jewish ideals and a Jewish culture and Jewish society and Jewish life. We don't withdraw from the world, the world has a lot to offer and we embrace it and we draw from it and we learn from it. But at the same time, we can't assimilate into it. And that's what Hashem is saying here. You could almost hear Hashem's voice. I took you out of מצרים Mitzrayim to be different than them. You were living in the 49th level of טומאה tumah, you were dressing and speaking and acting and watching just like them. I took you out to be different, to be different. Don't be like them. ובחקותיהם לא תלכו U'v'chukoseihem lo seileichu. כמעשה ארץ מצרים K'maaseh eretz Mitzrayim, don't be like them. The contrast between the Jewish people and the rest of mankind is emphasized to an extreme. And this is the message of the Torah and it's no coincidence that this message of that our identity and our ideals should be different than the world is used as the introduction to which section? About sexual mores and appropriateness, identity, promiscuity, relationships. It's an amazing, amazing thing. When is it specifically that Hashem is giving us this injunction saying, I've taken you out of there. Don't just be like everyone else. Don't buy into and don't embrace the values, the ideals, and the and the mores of everybody else. There's a Jewish ideal. It's crafted with sensitivity and with love to all, not with judgment and not with, not with being inappropriate or rude to others. It's crafted with sensitivity and with love and in moderation, but it's a Jewish view of these specific issues. It's not a coincidence this is the section the Torah uses that introduction with. כמעשה ארץ מצרים K'maaseh eretz Mitzrayim. And one can't help but think that Hashem is looking down on our Jewish community as we struggle, and I'm not suggesting these are simple issues. These are very, very, very complicated issues. And there will come a time and it won't be far off where אין בית אשר אין שם ein bayis asher ein sham, there won't be a home or a family who's not affected by these questions, who doesn't have an extended family member who's not involved in their own question of orientation, question of identity, question of transitioning, question of, there won't be a family who doesn't have a family member affected by it. But we have to determine כמעשה ארץ מצרים k'maaseh eretz Mitzrayim, are we going to just subscribe to whatever the world has come to on these issues? Or do we have a Jewish value? Do we have a Jewish approach with love, with sensitivity, with understanding, and so on, but nevertheless, a principled approach to these things? Hashem says, I took you out of ארץ מצרים Eretz Mitzrayim to be a holy people, and you are going to now go buy back into exactly where the sexual norms and attitudes of מצרים Mitzrayim. Why'd I take you out? What was the point? What was the point? I think our generation faces this פסוק pasuk is very, very important for our generation and for us to ask ourselves in a very careful and a very careful fashion. Okay. So we have the, the עריות arayos. After the עריות arayos, what did I put for this? After the עריות arayos, Torah tells us all these מצוות mitzvos were given to us, וחי בהם v'chai bahem in פסוק ה' pasuk hei, פרק י\"ח פסוק ה' Perek yud-ches, pasuk hei. We're on page 650. ושמרתם את חקתי ואת משפטי אשר יעשה אותם האדם וחי בהם אני ה' U'shmartem es chukosai v'es mishpatai asher ya'aseh osam ha'adam v'chai bahem, Ani Hashem. Observe all these laws. I just gave you so much laws and mandates and charges, 613. I want you to observe them, observe the ones you understand and observe the ones you don't understand. And why are you doing it all? וחי בהם V'chai bahem. Find life. So what does it mean וחי בהם v'chai bahem? What does it mean וחי בהם v'chai bahem? So we know that we have an obligation, saving a life supersedes all but three commandments in the Torah, וחי בהם v'chai bahem. This is the פסוק pasuk we learned it from. Torah is there to enhance and enrich our life. If it means giving up our life, what's the point of Torah? The whole point of Torah is to inspire, to create an inspired life. If observing Torah would mean giving up your life, then it's counterproductive. So we have the three cardinal sins for which it's better to give up one's life, but for all other 610, וחי בהם v'chai bahem. It means that we have to do what's necessary in order to live וחי בהם v'chai bahem. But the קאצקער רבה Kotzker Rebbe had a different interpretation of וחי בהם v'chai bahem. It's a beautiful קאצקער Kotzker. Said the קאצקער Kotzker, you know what וחי בהם v'chai bahem means? He says, you know, sometimes people wait to live an observant life until they're older and retired and it's towards the end of their life. A lot of people want to hedge when they see the clubhouse in the distance and they're counting down, they start to hedge. What if God exists and what if he really has expectations? And some people become very religious towards the end of their life. But when they're young and they have vitality and they have exuberance and enthusiasm and energy, then there's other things distracting them. Says the קאצקער Kotzker, when should it be ושמרתם את חקתי ואת משפטי u'shmartem es chukosai v'es mishpatai? וחי בהם V'chai bahem. When you have life inside you, when you're vibrant, and you have life and you have energy and you have enthusiasm, said the קאצקער Kotzker, that's when ושמרתם u'shmartem. And moreover, ושמרתם u'shmartem, how should you observe Torah? את חקתי ואת משפטי Es chukosai v'es mishpatai? In what way should we live an observant life? Some people are are living a dead Jewish life. They're going through the motions of observance, but it's lifeless. How should we live an observant life? וחי בהם V'chai bahem. Not a lifeless observant life, but an observant life that's filled with life, that's filled with love, that's filled with energy, that's filled with enthusiasm. A very beautiful, a very beautiful קאצקער Kotzker. Okay. Okay, I might as well tell you one other thought which is a שטיקל shtickel controversial but timely. And that is at the end of the עריות arayos, we're ending, ending the פרשה Parsha, then we'll go back. ואל אשה בנדת טומאתה לא תקרב לגלות ערותה V'el isha b'nidas tum'asah lo sikrav l'galos ervasah, אשת עמיתך לא תתן שכבתך eishes amisecha lo siten sh'chovtecha, and you can't, the laws of family purity, and you can't be with your neighbor's wife. ומזרעך לא תתן להעביר למולך U'mizaracha lo sitein la'havir laMolech. And don't offer any of your children to מולך Molech. What does this one thing have to do with another? Don't violate these boundaries of promiscuity and don't offer your child to מולך Molech. מולך Molech was an idol that the way you worship the idol was by offering, by sacrificing your child. Don't sacrifice your child, don't live a life of promiscuity. Why are they in the same פסוק pasuk? What does one thing have to do with the other? So listen to the words of Rabbi Soloveitchik. These are not my own words. Listen to his words. The juxtaposition of the first two prohibitions is clear, but how are the laws of sexual morality related to the Molech child sacrifice? A couple saves money to buy a house, but then discovers an unwanted pregnancy. Rather than have their plans thwarted, they will go put up the child for adoption or undergo an abortion. They're offering their child to Molech because they do not want to be deprived of material niceties. The connection between these prohibitions communicates that if one violates chukim such as the rules of sexual morality, it will lead to Molech, violation of the mishpatim as well. The prohibition of מולך Molech is sacrificing a child means sacrificing the future, continuity, children choosing material things over children, the priority of a society, where do we prioritize on the future, on the continuity, on children, or do we prioritize on things and on pleasures and on experiences? And that's the Rav's insight that if your emphasis is on gaining things and having experiences, then you'll come to sacrifice children, means you'll sacrifice having children or investing in those children or the amount of children you have, and one thing leads to the other. I thought that was a very interesting insight of of Rabbi Soloveitchik. Okay. Good. Let's go and look at the שיחות מוסר Sichos Mussar together. If you have the handout, it goes back to the beginning of the פרשה Parsha. This is Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz, the great Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz, משגיח mashgiach of the Mir, in his ספר שיחות מוסר sefer Sichos Mussar. He speaks about these words at the beginning of our פרשה Parsha. ואל יבא בכל עת אל הקודש V'al yavo b'chol eis el hakodesh, ולא ימות כי בענן אראה על הכפורת v'lo yamus ki b'anan era'eh al hakapores. Hashem through Moshe tells Aaron, you can't just come whenever you want. Don't just walk into the Holy of Holies whenever you want. You can only come when I appear in a cloud and that invites you. פירש רש\"י Peirush Rashi, why? לפי שגילוי שכינתו שם יזהר שלא ירגל לבא L'fi she'gilui shechinaso sham, yizaher shelo yargil lavo. Why did Hashem command someone as holy as אהרן הכהן Aharon HaKohen that he can't enter at will? He's אהרן Aharon. He's אהרן הכהן Aharon HaKohen. He was the holiest man together with his brother. And he can't enter at will? Why not? Wouldn't you assume that אהרן Aharon is holy enough that he will act appropriately? He'll only enter when it's warranted. Why does Aaron have to be cautioned, don't enter whenever you want? And again, the language of Rashi was, יזהר שלא ירגל לבא yizaher shelo yargil lavo. Be cautious, be careful to not just come in. And Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz answers in this piece, we'll look at it together now, but he answers very simply, that familiarity breeds contempt. The greatest enemy of holiness is familiarity. Even the holy אהרן הכהן Aharon HaKohen who purified himself for seven days before he went in the קדש הקדשים Kodesh HaKodashim, even אהרן הכהן Aharon HaKohen who had the greatest awe and reverence for that space, was in danger if he became too familiar. If you have too close, too casual a relationship, if you have too comfortable, if you become too familiar, it undermines a sense of awe, reverence, and holiness. So Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz here quotes כסא דחסדי יעב\"ץ Kisa d'Chasdei Ya'avetz בפירושו על אבות b'peirusho al Avos, על הפסוק ביחזקאל, ובבא עם הארץ לפני ה' במועדים, הבא דרך שער צפון להשתחוות יצא דרך שער נגב, והבא דרך שער נגב יצא דרך שער צפונה. לא ישוב דרך השער אשר בא בו, כי נכחו יצא al ha'pasuk b'Yechezkel, U'v'vo am ha'aretz lifnei Hashem b'moadim, ha'ba derech sha'ar tzafon lehishtachavos yetzei derech sha'ar negev, v'haba derech sha'ar negev yetzei derech sha'ar tzefona. Lo yashuv derech ha'sha'ar asher ba vo, ki nechcho yetza. The פסוק pasuk in יחזקאל Yechezkel describes, we know, that there were many entrances and gates to the בית המקדש Beis Hamikdash and the פסוק pasuk describes that the pilgrims when they would come to be עולה לרגל oleh l'regel, they could not exit the same gate they entered. If you came in this gate, you had to leave that gate. If you came in the other gate, you went through this gate. You couldn't come in and out through the same entrance. Why not? כי הקפיד השם יתברך שלא יראה השער ביתו פעמים, פן ישכח בעיניו השער ביתו וקדושת הבית בקדושתו. וזה היה עוון העגל, שהיה רגיל בסוכתם עד שמאסו בו ואמרו עשה לנו אלוהים. ומשה רבנו הרגיש בזה ונתן את אוהלו מחוץ למחנה, הרחק מן המחנה Ki hikpid Hashem yisborach shelo yira'eh ha'sha'ar beiso pa'amayim, pen yishkach b'einav ha'sha'ar beiso v'kdushas ha'bayis b'kdushaso. V'zeh hayah avon ha'egel, shehayah ragil b'socham ad she'ma'asu bo v'amru 'asei lanu elohim'. U'Moshe Rabbeinu hirgish b'zeh v'nasan es ohlo michutz la'machaneh, harchek min ha'machaneh. Says the יעב\"ץ Yaavetz, why was it that we're instructed that if you came in this gate, you have to go out the other, you came out that, you have to come in this. Why can't you go in and out the same one? It can't become too comfortable. It can't become too familiar. You can't come in and out of the gates of the בית המקדש Beis Hamikdash like it's the doorway of your home, where it's so comfortable. Aderaba, when you leave your home, you get all formal. When you come into your home, it's familiar and you're informal and you're casual and you're comfortable. And there's challenge towards the sense of holiness, towards the sense of reverence. So that is what informed the הלכה halacha of the pilgrims coming in and out. Even the Jews in the desert succumbed to the feeling of familiarity. What happened? They received the מן man for many, many years. And what happened to their attitude towards the מן man? If you skip down, כבר מצינו בבני ישראל במן. בשעה שירד המן לישראל מידי יום ביומו אמרו ונפשנו קצה בלחם הקלוקל Kvar matzinu b'vnei Yisrael ba'man. B'sha'ah she'yarad ha'man l'Yisrael midei yom b'yomo, amru 'v'nafsheinu katza ba'lechem ha'klokel'. What'd they say? We're repulsed by this bread. It's enough. It's enough. Enough of these baby lamb chops. Enough of these baby, who wants baby lamb chops, succulent, delicious, juicy baby lamb chops? ולאחר שפסק המן לרדת משבאו לארץ, כתיב וישבות המן ממחרת באכלם מעבור הארץ ולא היה עוד לבני ישראל מן. ויאכלו מתבואת ארץ כנען בשנה ההיא. פירש רש\"י, לא היה עוד לבני ישראל מן, לפיכך ויאכלו מעבור הארץ. אילו היה להם מן, לא היו אוכלין מתבואה, שהמן היה נוח להם. משל, אומר לתינוק, בני, מה אתה אוכל? פס או עוגה? שאין לי פס חיטין. כך נאמר 'ולא היה עוד'. מיד שפסק המן לרדת, אז הרגישו במה אבדו. אבל בשעה שהיה אצלם יום יום, מאסו בו. V'le'achar she'pasak ha'man laredes m'she'ba'u la'aretz, ksiv 'vayishbos ha'man mimochoras b'ochlam me'avur ha'aretz v'lo hayah od l'vnei Yisrael man. Vayochlu mitvuas eretz Kna'an bashanah ha'hi'. Peirush Rashi, 'lo hayah od l'vnei Yisrael man', l'ficha'ch 'vayochlu me'avur ha'aretz'. Ilu hayah lahem man, lo hayu ochlin mitvuah, she'ha'man hayah no'ach lahem. Mashal, omer l'tinok, 'bni, ma ata ochel? Pas o ugah?' 'She'ein li pas chittin'. Kach ne'emar 'v'lo hayah od'. Miyad she'pasak ha'man laredes, az hirgishu b'mah ivdu. Aval b'sha'ah she'hayah etzlam yom yom, ma'asu bo. When they entered Israel, the מן man no longer fell, then they ate whatever they can grow, the produce. Why didn't they continue to eat the מן man? It wasn't available. When it was no longer available, they longed for it. That's when they first appreciated it. So says Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz, even the מן man grew old. Even the מן man could grow stale. The מן man is miraculous מן man, it fell from heaven. It tasted like anything you wanted, anything you wanted. Even something that you attain in a miraculous fashion, if you become used to it, if it gets old and stale, if it becomes too familiar, it becomes disgusting. It becomes repulsive. They didn't want it anymore because familiarity breeds contempt. And the Torah is telling us that we need moments of separation and reflection in order to appreciate our gifts. We have it in all areas of life. In marriage, it can grow stale. And so we have the laws of טהרת המשפחה taharas hamishpacha, the laws of family purity, which are imposed on us and cause us to separate, and it renews a sense of longing and love and desire and lust because familiarity breeds contempt. And so we have forced breaks imposed on us in order to renew a sense of longing. To enjoy חמץ chametz, we have פסח Pesach. If you think that after פסח Pesach people don't long for חמץ chametz, check out some of the videos going around online of the, it looks like, Black Friday or whatever that's called, that target, you know, the people. They haven't got, they ate bagels, these days you can eat bagels and waffles, all pancakes all פסח Pesach, still מוצאי פסח Motzaei Pesach, you're willing to lose a limb in order to get a donut, to get the first slice of pizza. It's ממש mamash unbelievable. It's unbelievable. So how do you renew that sense of longing? On ערב פסח erev Pesach, you never needed to see a carb again for the rest of your life. By מוצאי פסח Motzaei Pesach, if you don't have a slice of pizza, I'm ממש mamash going to die. So to enjoy חמץ chametz, we have פסח Pesach. In food we have the laws of כשרות kashrus. With technology and creativity, we have שבת Shabbos. In every realm of life, we have imposed separation that overcomes the familiarity so we never get to the point of contempt. We shouldn't have contempt for our spouse, we shouldn't have contempt for food, we shouldn't have contempt for technology. And so by taking a break, whether elective and voluntary or forced, it creates, it renews a sense of love, a sense of longing, a sense of appreciation. It renews a sense of holiness. Because ואל יבא בכל עת אל הקודש v'al yavo b'chol eis el hakodesh. If you want קודש kodesh, you can't be בא בכל עת bo b'chol eis. You can't come whenever you want. You got to fight the familiarity. All these ברכות brachos, we live our lives to the fullest when we break the familiarity, the הרגל hergel, and we overcome it. And that's what he continues. ריגשא שבתחילה בנטילת כוס של חיים, כדומה, דועכת ומתמעטת על ידי הרגל. ולא זו בלבד, אלא שהמקום החם בנפש בא המיאוס בדבר, ונראה לאדם ככחור ובעל נפשו קצה בו. וזוהי הסכנה שבהרגל. Rigsha she'b'tchila b'netilas kos shel chayim, k'domeh, do'echess u'mitma'etes al yedei hergel. V'lo zu bilvad, elah she'b'makom ha'cham ba'nefesh ba ha'mius ba'davar, v'nir'eh l'adam k'kichur u've'al nafsho katza bo. V'zohi ha'sakana she'b'hergel. The סכנה sakana of הרגל hergel, the danger of familiarity is we take it for granted. The danger of familiarity is it breeds contempt. We have to strive, whether it's in marriage, whether it's children, whether it's relationships, whether it's things, whether it's food, but in order to keep things new. This שבת Shabbos, there's a מנהג minhag, some have of a שליסל חלה shlissel challah. I'm not going to talk about שליסל חלה shlissel challah. Good, bad, is it כמעשה ארץ מצרים k'maaseh eretz mitzrayim, superstition, we're supposed to not be like that, be like that, it connects you to Hashem, the מן man, I'm not talking about it. But I think there's another school with חלה challah, forget the key. The גמרא מנחות דף צ\"ט עמוד ב' Gemara Menachos daf tzadi-tes amud beis says לחם הפנים lechem hapanim, the Gemara says לחם הפנים lechem hapanim, סידורו כסילוקו, סילוקו כסידורו siduro k'siluko, siluko k'siduro. When they would exchange לחם הפנים lechem hapanim, once a week you had the showbread in the בית המקדש Beis Hamikdash and they would switch it out, they would flip it out, and it was תמיד tamid, it was always there, so you'd pull it out as you put the new one on. And the Gemara says it was as fresh when you removed it as when you placed it. סילוקו כסידורו Siluko k'siduro. So it didn't have preservatives. How did it stay so fresh? What does that mean? סילוקו כסידורו Siluko k'siduro? So I saw a beautiful פשט pshat. פשט Pshat is what was so fresh? What didn't get stale? The bread. The bread. But Rav Shimshon Raphael Hirsch says it's not the bread, it's the כהנים kohanim. The act, the עבודה avodah of switching the bread, סילוקו כסידורו siluko k'siduro, what never got stale wasn't the food, what never got stale was the עבודה avodah. It stayed fresh, it stayed real, it stayed vibrant for the כהנים kohanim who performed it. We see this also, the גמרא ברכות דף כ\"ח עמוד ב' Gemara Brachos daf kaf-ches amud beis says העושה תפילתו קבע, אין תפילתו תחנונים ha'oseh tefilaso keva, ein tefilaso tachanunim. Rabbi Eliezer teaches, if you make your תפילה tefillah קבע keva, if you make your דאווענען davening fixed, it's not genuine. What does that mean? What is קבע keva? What is קבע keva? So there's a מחלוקת machlokes. Rav Yaakov bar Iddi says in the name of Rav Oshia, anyone whose prayer is like a heavy burden. That's what קבע keva means. You want to get out of there, you don't want to be there, you're flying through it, you have no interest in it, you just want to unload it. That's קבע keva, that's not an authentic תפילה tefillah. Rava and Rav Yosef say, if you don't put something new in it. If all you do is recite the same שמונה עשרה Shmoneh Esrei and you have nothing, רפאנו, ברך עלינו, שמע קולנו Refa'einu, Barech Aleinu, Shma Koleinu, you have nothing that you need Hashem for, so that's not a genuine תפילה tefillah. So what's the פשט pshat? It means that if your text is so rigid and so fixed, if it's so familiar, so casual, so comfortable, it's on autopilot, your דאווענען davening drives itself, that's not real דאווענען davening. Real דאווענען davening is something new. It can't be familiar, it can't be casual, it can't be repetitive, it can't be redundant, it can't be a creature of habit. It has to be something new, something vibrant, something exciting. You have to keep it fresh and never become too familiar. Switch out your סידור siddur, switch out your מקום makom, switch out your שמע קולנו Shma Koleinu, think about different things and different people and different needs. But העושה תפילתו קבע, אין תפילתו תחנונים ha'oseh tefilaso keva, ein tefilaso tachanunim. This is a brilliant insight of Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz. Encourage you to read the rest of the piece about familiarity breeding contempt. ואל יבא בכל עת אל הקודש V'al yavo b'chol eis el hakodesh. The great אהרן Aharon was at risk. Even the great אהרן Aharon could have become too familiar and he wouldn't have been able to achieve the holiness. To achieve holiness in our marriage, in our lives, familiarity breeds contempt. We have to keep things new and we have to keep them fresh. We have to keep them vibrant.
