Transcript
Boker tov, good morning. This morning we have the privilege of studying together Parshas Chayei Sarah. It appears on page 106 in the Artscroll Stone Chumash. Reminder there's an opportunity each week to sponsor the parsha class in honor and memory of someone, or perhaps to take on to sponsor for the whole year. You can call the shul office, speak to Linda, and we certainly welcome your contribution and support. Parshas Chayei Sarah. The end of last week's parsha, we know we had the עקידה Akeida, the close call, the incredible story of the test of אברהם Avraham and a test of יצחק Yitzchak. יצחק Yitzchak is thirty-seven years old. אברהם Avraham did not push יצחק Yitzchak in the stroller to the עקידה Akeida, but וילכו שניהם יחדיו vayelchu shneihem yachdav, they walked together. Often overlooked is the test of יצחק Yitzchak and his role in the עקידה Akeida. I mentioned to you last week that Artscroll, in the Stone Chumash, lists it as the tenth trial, the עקידה Akeida on page 101. In the truth is, in listing it such, they're taking a side, but not everybody agrees. There's a big מחלוקת machlokes among the commentators. חז\"ל Chazal, our rabbis, have already tell us in אבות Avos that there were ten trials, ten tests that אברהם Avraham underwent. What the tests are, less clear. The רמב\"ם Rambam says all ten tests have to appear in the text. You can't employ the מדרשים Midrashim. So the רמב\"ם Rambam goes through the text to find ten challenging times, ten tests or trials within the text of Torah itself. Others say no. The רמב\"ן Ramban, you're able to count among the tests, even tests that are in מאמרי חז\"ל ma'amarei Chazal. So if you go through the מדרש Medrash, for example, the fact that אברהם Avraham was thrown into the כבשן האש kivshan ha'eish, that אברהם Avraham was cast into the fiery furnace and survived, is that a test or not? Will depend on whether you require the test to appear in the text of the Torah. רבינו יונה Rabbeinu Yonah says the tenth test was not the end of last week, it was the beginning of this week. I've mentioned this countless times, you could listen online, I won't get into what that test was, but in the negotiation and dialogue between אברהם Avraham and עפרון החתי Efron HaChiti, that with the passing of Sarah, when Sarah heard the news of the עקידה Akeida, she died. Sarah's death certificate, the cause of death was she was scared to death. Literally, that expression we use, someone could be scared to death. Sarah was scared to death. What was that tenth test? That Sarah died as a result of something אברהם Avraham did, that אברהם Avraham had to buy land that God had already promised him would be his, the negotiation with the duplicitous, insincere עפרון החתי Efron HaChiti. So again, you could listen online, we've talked about it in the past, but our parsha begins with אברהם Avraham having to overcome what for some commentaries is in fact his final test of securing a burial plot, a permanent burial plot, not only for Sarah, but for all the אבות ואמהות Avos v'Imahos, except for רחל Rachel, and a place that continues to be a very holy place for us עד היום הזה ad hayom hazeh. We have that negotiation with עפרון Efron. And then the Torah tells us, ואברהם זקן בא בימים v'Avraham zaken ba bayamim, וה' ברך את אברהם בכל v'HaShem beirach es Avraham bakol. אברהם Avraham, now reaches a ripe old age, looks back on his life with satisfaction. True, he's lost his great partner. He feels incomplete. Rav Soloveitchik says that with Sarah's loss, אברהם Avraham no longer feels he can be this transformational leader. Sarah was his partner. Sarah energized him. She had vision. They did it together. And without her, he realizes he's hit a turning point in his life where now, rather than be proactive, he's a little reflective. And in that state of reflection, he realizes that with all that he's accomplished and done, and even with the gift of יצחק Yitzchak and יצחק's Yitzchak's survival of the עקידה Akeida, what does he not have? אייניקלאך Aineklach. He doesn't have a legacy, at least not through יצחק Yitzchak. יצחק Yitzchak needs a wife, which is why it continues, ויאמר אברהם אל עבדו vayomer Avraham el avdo, and אברהם Avraham therefore instructs אליעזר Eliezer, I need you to go find a wife for my יצחק Yitzchak. What does it mean וה' ברך את אברהם בכל v'Hashem beirach es Avraham bakol? God blessed אברהם Avraham with everything. What is everything? The רמב\"ן Ramban says, we've studied this in the past as well, what does it mean to have everything? When we describe someone, he has she has everything. What is everything? It all depends. Different people define everything differently. Size of your house, the logo on the front of your car, youthfulness, health, money. Your definition of everything probably changes based on what you take for granted having until you don't have it. Some people say, I could wake up in the morning and I can go to the bathroom without an incident, I have everything. For other people, unless I have a mansion and an expensive car and a large bank account, I have nothing. So the רמב\"ן Ramban says, what does it mean אברהם Avraham had everything? He had wealth, honor, he had achieved longevity in life, he had children. But what was he missing? When he realizes I have everything, he says, not quite. Almost everything. I don't have grandchildren through which to pay it forward. Of course, the מדרש Medrash says ה' ברך את אברהם בכל HaShem beirach es Avraham bakol. Who is בכל bakol? Is the name of his his daughter. That אברהם Avraham had a daughter now, בכל Bakol. Who is she? What's her legacy? What's her story? Again, not for now. But keep in mind this phrase we're going to come back to it when we go through the section we're going to look more closely at, that אברהם Avraham is a זקן בא בימים zaken ba bayamim, אברהם Avraham reaches an age where he feels God has blessed him בכל bakol. He has everything. So he tells אליעזר Eliezer. Yes. In נוסח האר\"י nusach Ari at the end of הלל Hallel. Yes. Correct. Yes, somebody asked me just yesterday, why in נוסח האר\"י nusach Ari at the end of הלל Hallel do they say that that expression, this pasuk? I said you have to ask somebody who davens נוסח האר\"י nusach Ari. They said, I did. And they named one of the Chabad rabbis in town, and he didn't know. I said, he didn't know, you think I know? Anyway, it's a good question. I'm not sure. Maybe, I mean the obvious answer is that when you've done saying הלל Hallel, you should feel a sense like אברהם Avraham that ה' ברך את אברהם בכל HaShem beirach es Avraham bakol. I feel I whatever I have is what I need, and it's enough for me to be able to acknowledge HaShem. So אברהם Avraham stakes אליעזר Eliezer his loyal servant, says, אליעזר Eliezer, בכל bakol is the gematria fifty-two which is בן ben. Oh, okay. Right, there's a big בכל bakol you could five hours discussion just on the word בכל bakol. He says to אליעזר Eliezer, swear to me, you can't let my son marry some heathen, idolatrous, pagan, reject woman from here. I need you to go and find him a wife. אליעזר Eliezer goes to find a wife. And Rav Pam points out, what is the core, critical, he doesn't ask on the resume what seminary did she go to, what was her GPA, what was her dress size, did the mother wear a Shabbos robe to the table, does the father wear a hat when he takes the garbage out, what are the medical history of the family, were the grandparents buried next to each other in Europe in the cemetery or was it so from that the men and women had separate sections? By the way, these are all questions I've received in שדחכים shidduchim. None of that were אליעזר's Eliezer's questions. What is the one thing אליעזר Eliezer is looking for? The one thing on the top of the resume that he needs to see to be the matriarch of the Jewish people, to be worthy of יצחק Yitzchak? חסד Chesed. She kind. Is she selfless? Is she thoughtful? Does she extend herself to other people? Does she care? And of course Rivka differentiates herself as that woman at the well, offering not only אליעזר Eliezer, but offering his camels. And from this passage we extract so many critical, vital lessons, which again we're not going to study but we have on YU Torah in the past studied, lessons about שדחכים shidduchim, what we're looking for, how to find the people we're looking for, and so on. אליעזר Eliezer continues, by as soon as he realizes she extends herself not only to him but to his camels, what does אליעזר Eliezer do? On page 112, pasuk chaf beis. After the animals drink, ויקח האיש נזם זהב בקע משקלו ושני צמידים על ידיה עשרה זהב משקלם vayikach ha'ish nezem zahav bekah mishkalo ushnei tzmidim al yadeha asarah zahav mishkalam. האיש Ha'ish, why doesn't he have a name here? Also not for now, but אליעזר Eliezer, the man, the main man, he gives her a gift. He betrothed Rivka, he sent as a שליח shaliach as an agent of יצחק Yitzchak, and he betrothed he proposes to Rivka on behalf of יצחק Yitzchak. He's found her, she's the one. Again, not because of the picture she has on the resume, and not because of how long her שמונה עשרה Shmoneh Esrei is, although those are lovely things. She's a בעלת חסד ba'alas chesed. He sees her giving quality. So right away, he gives her a gift. What is the gift he gives her? Two gifts. Number one, נזם זהב nezem zahav. Yes, Rivka wore a nose ring. Okay. נזם זהב Nezem zahav, a nose ring, and how much was it worth? בקע משקלו Bekah mishkalo. It weighed a בקע bekah. How much is a בקע bekah? How much, anyone know? Thank you, a half shekel. בקע לגולגולת Bekah lagulgolet. Later with the מחצית השקל machatzis hashekel, בקע לגולגולת bekah lagulgolet, a בקע משקלו bekah mishkalo. He gave her a nose ring worth half a shekel, and he gave her two bracelets. We get off easy in the yichud room. You just have to give one gift. He has three pieces of jewelry. And I don't know, try giving a nose ring. See how well that goes over. But two bracelets, two bracelets that are worth ten shekel. Two gold bracelets worth ten shekel. Rashi picks up and says these are not insignificant references. Why is אליעזר Eliezer davka giving these gifts? The half shekel value of the nose ring is a hint, an allusion to what mitzvah the Jewish people would be given later, the mitzvah of מחצית השקל machatzis hashekel, a half shekel. And why two bracelets, says Rashi? Corresponding to the שני לוחות הברית shnei luchos habris, two tablets. And why worth ten shekel? Because what's written on the two tablets? The Ten Commandments. And I ask you, and I asked under a חופה chuppah two nights ago that I spoke at in New York, why is אליעזר Eliezer in the moment of romance, of love, of this bond he's creating, betrothal between Rivka, this extraordinary young woman and יצחק Yitzchak who he will serve faithfully? Why is he מחצית השקל machatzis hashekel? How unromantic is מחצית השקל machatzis hashekel? שני לוחות הברית Shnei luchos habris, עשרת הדברות aseret hadibros, okay, a little bit more, you're connecting to Torah. But why in that moment is he giving gifts with illusion specifically to these things? So here's what I thought of. This is what I said under the חופה chuppah. I say it to you now. Maybe what אליעזר Eliezer was communicating to Rivka and through this the parsha of שדחכים shidduchim to us, the following two messages about marriage. Maybe, maybe. What's a half shekel have to do with marriage? So when we've studied this, we've talked about how terribly inefficient it was to give a half shekel. A half shekel, Parshas Ki Sisa is given in the context of taking a census. To count how many Jewish people there were. It's much more efficient not to count in a fraction but to count in an integer, in a whole number. Each person should give a shekel. And whatever number you're left with, that's the number of people. Each person giving a half shekel means you got to do some math. Who wants to do math? So why did the Torah instruct us to give a half shekel? Why not the full shekel? So many, many commentaries there explain, very simply. What is the census? It's being counted among the Jewish people. One were to give a full shekel they would feel, you know what? I count on my own. I'm complete, I'm whole, I'm full, I'm done. I am an entire entity onto myself. I count by myself. Instead, the Torah says, no, give a half shekel and realize that on your own you're incomplete. It's only in combination with another Jew, it's only when you relate and connect with others that you can be whole. So each give a half shekel to realize that when we disconnect or isolate ourselves from the community, we can never be complete. We have to connect with others, combine, collaborate, we have to find a synergy with others in order to become whole, in order to be a complete shekel. If that's the case, maybe that's the message of marriage as well, that marriage is not thinking I am a complete entity and I have found someone else who's a full entity and we combine. Marriage is not one plus one equals two. Marriage is a half and a half becoming a whole. In a most healthy marriage, in the healthiest, at least what we aspire in the healthiest marriage, we feel incomplete. Long before Jerry Maguire, that you complete me. That I am nothing without you. I'm not whole. We bring out the best in one another, we complement one another, we're there to give honest feedback to one another and to place boundaries around one another. And that together we make a whole, but without it we're an incomplete. And I suggested that maybe this is also the reason that when God creates the world, he creates אדם וחווה Adam v'Chava as one androgynous figure, only to split them later. The רבונו של עולם Ribbono shel Olam, the almighty, omnipotent, infinite God, knew that there would be two genders, man and woman eventually. So why not create separately אדם Adam and חווה Chava? Why create them as one and split them in two? And maybe similarly the answer is, because if they would have been created separately and independently, when they would come together they'd feel like one plus one equals two. But by creating them together and splitting them, God was communicating and instilling with us the sense that, you know what, until I find my life partner, I'm incomplete. I'm a half. Only in combination with them can I be made whole. That's what we aspire for in marriage. That's what שדחכים shidduchim is about, finding the person who completes you and who you can complete in turn, to become one. A half and a half becoming a whole. And maybe the second message is, שני לוחות shnei luchos represent בין אדם לחבירו bein adam l'chaveiro and בין אדם למקום bein adam l'Makom, that our homes that we will build, that יצחק Yitzchak and Rivka will build and that we build have to be attentive to both בין אדם למקום bein adam l'Makom, have holy places relating to God and בין אדם לחבירו bein adam l'chaveiro, Rivka's trait of בעלת חסד ba'alas chesed have to relate to both. But how are the עשרת הדברות aseret hadibros received? How did we accept them at הר סיני Har Sinai? What did we say? נעשה ונשמע Naaseh v'nishma. And I think that's also a very healthy attitude in marriage. נעשה ונשמע Naaseh v'nishma. Meaning not נשמע ונעשה nishma v'naaseh. Tell me what you think and if it makes sense to me and if it works for me and if it's what I want to do, then we'll do it. But the opposite. נעשה Naaseh. This matters to you? Whether I'll understand it or not, whether it makes sense to me or not, whether I want to do it or not. It matters to you? נעשה Naaseh, ונשמע v'nishma. Then I'll try to understand it afterwards. But first, נעשה naaseh before נשמע nishma. Maybe those two critical attitudes in marriage were what אליעזר Eliezer was communicating to Rivka and through this story to all of us. The מחצית השקל machatzis hashekel, that we're a half and a half becoming a whole, and number two, נעשה ונשמע naaseh v'nishma, that we have to bring an attitude of putting the other person before ourselves. It doesn't have to fit into what we understand in order to make it happen. Of course, with Rivka came לבן Lavan. לבן Lavan. And the Torah introduces us to Rivka's brother, לבן Lavan, who we know right away, לבן Lavan is a character, self-interest. If Rivka is selfless, לבן Lavan is selfish. They're opposites. Hard to believe they were brought up in the same house. יצחק Yitzchak and Rivka marry. When they do, where does Rivka find יצחק Yitzchak? He's לשוח בשדה lasuach basadeh. He's having a conversation. Who's he talking to in the field? רבונו של עולם Ribbono shel Olam. This is one of the languages we have of תפילה tefillah, one of the thirteen synonyms for תפילה tefillah is שיחה sicha. שיחה Sicha, to give a שיחה sicha, שיחה sicha is conversation. It's a dialogue. What an incredible description of prayer. That prayer ultimately is a conversation with Hashem. Let me tell you what's going on in my life, let me tell you what I'm grateful for, let me tell you where I need you. It's such a comfortable connection with Hashem that you're able to have a conversation. יצחק Yitzchak brings Rivka into his mother's tent. ויביאה יצחק האהלה שרה אמו ויקח את רבקה ותהי לו לאשה ויאהבה vayivieha Yitzchak ha'ohelah Sarah imo vayikach es Rivka vatehi lo l'isha vaye'ahaveha. When does יצחק Yitzchak fall in love with Rivka? Before or after marriage? After marriage. Again, a message for us and particularly for young people getting married today is that love does not precede marriage. You know, lust precedes marriage, attraction precedes marriage, interest precedes marriage, liking each other a lot precedes marriage. But what is the Jewish definition of love is giving to one another. It's experiencing the challenges of life together. It's compromising for one another. That doesn't come, you know, while your parents are paying for you to eat at La Marais together. That comes when you live life and you got to make sacrifices and I paid for all my dates, by the way. But when you make compromises and sacrifices, it comes. So the Torah is telling us, when does יצחק Yitzchak love Rivka? ויאהבה Vaye'ahaveha. Not ויאהבה vaye'ahaveha. אליעזר Eliezer says let me tell you about this amazing girl. Incredible. יחוס Yichus, not so great. But she's a בעלת חסד ba'alas chesed. Let me tell you, she's unbelievable. Oh, ויאהבה vaye'ahaveha, he loved her, and then he married her. No, he marries her, and then in marriage, the love you have after your twentieth anniversary versus your tenth anniversary, versus your first after the first anniversary, maybe you write the most romantic flowery card, but it pales in comparison to the love of I'm now celebrated my twenty, I'm a b'kinaker, I'm able to talk, I'm married twenty years. Okay. אברהם Avraham, ויוסף אברהם vayosef Avraham. This is the section we're going to study, that אברהם Avraham remarries. Remarries can have a dual connotation. You could remarry the person you were previously married to, you could remarry a new person. We'll see in a moment who יצחק Yitzchak, who אברהם Avraham marries. אברהם Avraham passes away, יצחק Yitzchak and ישמעאל Ishmael come together in order to bury him. Okay, that's an overview of the whole parsha. Before we look specifically at our section, I want to share something remarkable with you. Something really, really incredible with you. I'm told I abuse the word incredible. I describe everything as incredible, but this is incredible. This is worthy of being described as incredible. There's a new book that just came out, Dr. Henry Abramson, who's a I'm a great admirer of his, used to be here in South Florida. He's a dean now of Touro in New York. And he just came out with a book called \"Torah from the Years of Wrath, 1939 to 1943, the Historical Context of the Eish Kodesh.\" And let me tell you about his book and then share something of Parshas Chayei Sarah from his book, from his research. אש קודש Eish Kodesh was written by the פיאסצנא רבי Piacetzna Rebbe. We've talked about him before. His יארצייט yahrzeit was a couple of weeks ago. In fact, we quoted him just a couple of weeks ago that we should always realize no matter if our we don't feel we have יחוס yichus, we have the greatest יחוס yichus. We come from אברהם Avraham, יצחק Yitzchak, and יעקב Yaakov. The פיאסצנא רבי Piacetzna Rebbe of Rav Kalonymus Kalman Shapiro of פיאסצנא Piacetzna was the Rebbe in the Warsaw Ghetto. He gave sermons in the he was a great leader long before the Holocaust. He was a dean of a Yeshiva and he was a Rav, a חסידישע רבי Chasidishe Rebbe. He was an incredible, incredible person with remarkable vision. But then he became tragically the Rav of the Warsaw Ghetto and had the unenviable task of giving דרשות drashos in the Warsaw Ghetto. He wrote out the דרשות drashos. First, he had a scribe who on מוצאי שבת Motzei Shabbos would record them. Later, he did himself. And those pieces of paper were buried together with the עונג שבת Oneg Shabbos archives that were buried in three spots, not all of them were recovered under the Warsaw Ghetto in order to try to capture, right, Emmanuel Ringelblum and the עונג שבת Oneg Shabbos put together, if you don't know the story, you should know, it's it's really, really, I can't say incredible anymore. It's a really very moving, very powerful, very powerful story. So they were included within the the עונג שבת Oneg Shabbos archive. In 1960 they were collected and they were printed. And that's the copy of אש קודש Eish Kodesh which we've basically been working off of. However, recently, not Dr. Abramson, someone else, took the original manuscript and put out a more accurate copy because the original copy which was put out in relative haste didn't really dive into some of the Rebbe's own annotations on the original manuscripts and so on. A more accurate copy was put out. But the the the פיאסצנא רבי Piacetzna Rebbe's own דרשות drashos that he gave in the Warsaw Ghetto between 1939 and 1943, it's very interesting. You read the דרשות drashos and for a few exceptions, the Rebbe doesn't mention Nazi, Holocaust, murder, ghetto, concentration camp, gas chamber, he doesn't mention, doesn't mention anything. Right, we were in the Warsaw Ghetto. Rav Roth and I in June. We were on our Poland trip to Israel, we heard the story of and saw the monument to Ringelblum. So, he doesn't mention it. And the thesis of Dr. Abramson's really, really special work is that you need to understand the historical context. What was happening that Shabbos that the Rebbe gave that drasha? What was he alluding to? What was he hinting at? What was going on in his life, in the life of the ghetto, in the life of European Jewry when he gave that message, when he gave that drasha. So Parshas Chayei Sarah, November 4th, 1939, the Rebbe spoke in the Warsaw Ghetto. And I want to share with you how Dr. Abramson gives a context. You can order the book on Amazon, it gives a history of the sefer Eish Kodesh of Piacetzna Chasidus, and then goes through the Rebbe's drashos giving the historical context. I I really highly recommend it. So Parshas Chayei Sarah, it was delivered November 4th, 1939. This is the third drasha that's recorded in the in the sefer, in Eish Kodesh. First two were Rosh Hashanah and Shabbos Shuva, and this is really the first one in Sefer Bereishis. And it was probably written before the bombardment of Warsaw began, which was at the beginning of the holiday of the holidays. On the morning of Yom Kippur after Yom Kippur 1939, tragedy struck the Rebbe's home. A mortar fragment flew through a window and grievously wounded the Rebbe's only son, Elimelech. The Rebbe together with his daughter-in-law and sister-in-law rushed the young man to the overcrowded hospital, seeking emergency treatment. The harried staff admitted him but demanded that the family remain outside. The woman stood by the entrance reciting תהלים Tehillim, and the Rebbe rushed off to the home of a doctor who might be able to intervene. While he was away, another round of bombs rained upon the hospital, killing the Rebbe's family. His son survived for a few more days, finally succumbing to his wounds on the second day of סוכות Succos. So the Rebbe ran out to get a doctor, which saved his life and his family was killed in the bombing, including his son who held on for a few more days. No entries are recorded in Eish Kodesh for six weeks after this incident. And then on November 4th, the Rebbe broke his silence when he said the following. And here's a translation of the drasha, obviously were written in Hebrew. Here's the English translation. It's written in the holy work מאור ושמש Ma'or Vashemesh at the beginning of Parshas Vayera in the name of the holy rabbi, the man of God, our teacher and master, Menachem Mendel of Rimanov, regarding the Talmudic passage, a ברית מלח bris melach, a covenant is made with salt, and a covenant is made with afflictions. Just as salt makes meat palatable, so too, יסורים yisurin, afflictions, purify the individual of sin. Just as one cannot derive pleasure from meat that has been excessively salted, rather only if it was properly salted, so too, afflictions should not should be meted out only in such measure they can be tolerated and with an admixture of mercy, said the Rebbe. Rashi explained the death of Sarah was juxtaposed to the binding of יצחק Yitzchak because with the news that her son was being bound and was about to be sacrificed, her soul burst forth from her and she died. That is to say, משה רבינו Moshe Rabbeinu, our teacher, the faithful shepherd, juxtaposed the death of Sarah to the binding of יצחק Yitzchak in order to advocate for us, indicating what results from excessive afflictions, heaven forbid. Her soul burst forth and she died. Furthermore, if this was the case with the tremendously righteous Sarah, who was as blameless at the age of 100 as a 20-year-old, and all of her years were equally good, yet despite this she was unable to withstand such horrible afflictions, how much the more so does this apply to us. When you read that drasha in a vacuum, it's a drasha. When you understand it six weeks after his only son, daughter-in-law, his whole family wiped out, he is spared, the connection to Akeidas Yitzchak and to how Sarah responded, now he's really grappling with his own response. It's really extraordinary. And says Dr. Abramson, the message is challenging on a theological plan and in many ways characteristic of the electric quality that pervades the Rebbe's writings. The Rebbe poetically argues that Moshe, as original scribe and therefore editor of the Torah, intentionally placed the reference to Sarah's death immediately after the narrative of Akeidas Yitzchak in order to deliver a human message to the divine, that too much suffering can break a person. On its own, the sermon is incredibly potent, a startling illustration of Rav Menachem Mendel of Rimanov's Chasidic teaching. The historical context, however, renders the passage absolutely terrifying. These are the first words that the Rebbe uttered publicly since the deaths of his son, daughter-in-law, and sister-in-law. One can only imagine the tension in the room as he delivered this sermon. Affliction should be meted out only in such measure they can be tolerated and with an admixture of mercy. The Rebbe couched his veiled communication really a personal communication between himself and Hashem within the biblical and midrashic narrative of Sarah's death. Openly expressing his anguish and grief would have been inappropriate. The rereading of a story well known to his audience placed his personal pain in a communal context. The printed version of the text, however, glosses over an important element of the manuscript version. Immediately prior to the penultimate sentence, the Rebbe inserted a ש shin-shaped notation, indicating a later marginal annotation to be added in the published version. We do not know when the Rebbe reviewed his manuscript. The Rebbe ultimately was moved out of Warsaw. He had the opportunity, by the way, to have escaped even before going into the ghetto, but he insisted on being with his Chassidim. He had the opportunity to escape later, but he insisted on remaining. And in the Trawniki labor camp, he was brutally murdered in the Trawniki labor camp. But beforehand, he had reviewed his own manuscript of these drashos. Several data annotations indicate he did so in the late 1942, early 1943. It's likely the following passage was inserted at that time. So it's in the new edition, but it didn't make it into the printed edition 1960. It's also possible, the Rebbe writes, to argue that שרה אמנו Sarah Imeinu was so heartbroken with the binding of יצחק Yitzchak that her soul burst forth, did so for the benefit of the Jewish people, to demonstrate to God how it was impossible for the Jewish people to tolerate excessive afflictions. Even for one who remains alive after such afflictions, by the grace of God, nevertheless, some of his strength, his mind and spirit are broken and destroyed. Is there a difference between partial and total death? A problem is resolved by the verse, \"the years of the life of Sarah.\" It seems Sarah may have sinned for the forsaking the remaining years of her life. Had she not chosen to be so heartbroken over the binding of יצחק Yitzchak. Since, however, she forsook them for the benefit of the Jewish people, the verse subtly indicates the years of the life of Sarah. That is to say, even those years beyond her 127 would have been equally good. Even forsaking them did not constitute a sin on her part. Okay, I again encourage you to read it not only for this incredible insight here on Chayei Sarah, but on other parshios as well, he gives a context, a historical context which just totally opens up and reveals what the Rebbe was really communicating. To picture yourself being in the ghetto, in that room, six weeks after this loss and tragedy that the Rebbe experienced, what's he going to say? And he doesn't address it directly, but he's talking to the Ribbono shel Olam while letting others listen, and he's telling him enough. You've killed a piece of me, and is there a difference between partial and total death? It's too much. And just like שרה אמנו Sarah Imeinu, what can be expected after experiencing such pain and such loss. Okay. The section I want to look at with you is the very end of the parsha, in the Artscroll Stone Chumash on page 120. It's פרק כ\"ה פסוק א' perek chaf-hei, pasuk alef. ויוסף אברהם ויקח אשה ושמה קטורה Vayosef Avraham vayikach isha u'shmah Keturah. אברהם Avraham has now buried his wife. He's now it's very poor grammar, the expression to marry off your child is an abuse of the English language. But he's now found a mate, spouse for his son, יצחק Yitzchak. And he realizes he's lonely. ויוסף אברהם ויקח אשה ושמה קטורה Vayosef Avraham vayikach isha u'shmah Keturah. He takes a woman named קטורה Keturah. Who is this mysterious קטורה Keturah? אברהם Avraham remarries. Who is this mysterious woman he marries? Says Rashi, קטורה זו הגר Keturah zu Hagar. He remarries הגר Hagar. Remember הגר Hagar Sarah said expelled from the house. Well, Sarah's gone. He obviously continues to have feelings for הגר Hagar. So he remarries הגר *Hagar*, says רש\"י *Rashi*. Why is her name קטורה *Ketura*? Why not just tell us he remarried הגר *Hagar*? Says רש\"י *Rashi*, נקראת קטורה על שם שנאים מעשיה כקטורת *nikreis Ketura al shem she'naim ma'aseha k'ketores*. What's the קטורת *ketores*? The pleasant smelling aroma of the קטורת *ketores* of the incense.הגר *Hagar* has redefined herself and her her virtue is so great, so pleasant, it's like the קטורת *ketores*. So therefore she's referred to as קטורה *Ketura*. Or alternatively, שקשרה פתחה שלא נזדקקה לאדם מיום שפירשה מאברהם *shekashra piskha shelo nizdakeka l'adam miyom shepirsha me'Avraham*. You know, the הלכה *halacha* is that you're other than a כהן *kohen* allowed to remarry even the woman you divorced. However, what's the condition of the remarriage? She has to have not married or been with someone in between. If she was, she's ineligible for you to remarry. Here she's called קטורה *Ketura* to speak of her pleasantness, her virtue, her commitment to אברם *Avram*. She held out that אברם *Avram* would take her back. She wasn't with anyone else in the interim. So that when אברם *Avram* is ready to remarry, שרה *Sara's* gone, יצחק *Yitzchak's* married, now אברם *Avram* marries הגר *Hagar*. That is the opinion of רש\"י *Rashi*.Where'd he find her? JDate obviously. I don't know. He Googled. He Googled her address. Listen, if this is right that she was holding out, then it means that she like, was hanging around. She wasn't too hard to find. If she was holding out that he would take her back, she must not have been too hard to find. That's רש\"י *Rashi*. We'll get to that in a second. We'll get to that in a second. Remember, he's still alive אברם *Avram*. He's still alive אברם *Avram*. So says רש\"י *Rashi*, who's קטורה *Ketura*? הגר *Hagar*. Says the אבן עזרא *Ibn Ezra*, are you kidding me? קטורה אינה הגר *Ketura eina Hagar*. It's like as if he's responding to רש\"י *Rashi*. I don't know what you want to tell me but don't tell me it's הגר *Hagar*. איננה הגר *Einenah Hagar*. כי כתוב ולבני הפילגשים אשר לאברהם נתן אברהם, ופירש פילגש שפחה, ובזה השם איננו נופל על זכר, ונוכל לפרש על פילגשים נשים *Ki kasuv v'livnei hapilagshim asher l'Avraham nasan Avraham, u'peirush pilegesh shifcha, v'zeh hashem eineno nofel al zachar, v'nuchal lefaresh al pilagshim nashim*. Ibn Ezra has his argument, his reason, but he says אברם *Avram* does remarry קטורה *Ketura*. I don't know who קטורה *Ketura* is. Right? Ibn Ezra doesn't suggest an alternative. He says I don't know who קטורה *Ketura* is. I'll just tell you who she's not. She's not הגר *Hagar*.Says the רשב\"ם *Rashbam*, קטורה, לפי הפשט, אין זו הגר *Ketura, l'fi hapshat, ein zu Hagar*. Who's רש\"י *Rashi's* grandfather by the way? Who's רשב\"ם *Rashbam's* grandfather? Blew that one. רש\"י *Rashi*. Right? The רשב\"ם *Rashbam* has no problem saying, I don't know who, I don't know who קטורה *Ketura* is either. One thing I know is, she's not who my grandfather says. She ain't הגר *Hagar*.Good. Says the כלי יקר *Kli Yakar*, says the כלי יקר *Kli Yakar*, חוזר ונושא את הגר *chozer v'nosei es Hagar*. So now we got a two on two. רש\"י *Rashi* and the כלי יקר *Kli Yakar* against the אבן עזרא *Ibn Ezra* and the רשב\"ם *Rashbam*. Says כלי יקר *Kli Yakar* that אברם *Avram* goes and remarries her, וקרא קטורה על שם שמעשיה נאים כקטורת, וחזר בו מלשון יוסף שנשא שניים *v'kara Ketura al shem shema'aseha na'im k'ketores, v'chazar bo milashon Yosef shenasa shnayim*. ויש לנו לתן טעם למה קרא שמה קטורה על שם מעשיה *V'yesh lanu litein taam lama kara shma Ketura al shem ma'aseha*? So if she was virtuous, maybe she was virtuous all along. So why was she ever called הגר *Hagar*? Why wasn't she referred to as קטורה *Ketura* all along? ועוד, שזה סותר מה שפירש רש\"י פרשת וירא *V'od, she'zeh soter ma she'peirush Rashi Parshas Vayeira*, ותלך ותתע, שחזרה לגילולי בית אביה *v'teilech v'tita shechazra l'gilulei beis aviha*. Last week's פרשה *parsha*, הגר *Hagar* is kicked out of the house. Where does she go? רש\"י *Rashi* in last week's פרשה *parsha* says she goes back to idolatry. She goes back to her father's pagan ways. So, then she wasn't so pleasant as קטורת *Ketores*. וכהכרח לומר *v'hecharch lomar* says the כלי יקר *Kli Yakar*, it seems to me, שבתחילה גירשה על פי בקשת שרה, כי אברהם היה טפל לשרה בנבואה *she'bitchila geirsha al pi bakashas Sarah, ki Avraham haya tafel l'Sarah b'nevua*.Who had a greater, who was a greater נביא *navi*, אברם *Avram* or שרה *Sarah*? Right, for those who think that Judaism is misogynistic, unequal religion, favors men and denigrates women, חז\"ל *Chazal* tell us who was the greater prophet, אברם *Avram* or שרה *Sarah*? שרה *Sarah*. Which is why השם *Hashem* tells אברם *Avram*, whatever שרה *Sarah* tells you, שמע בקולה *shma b'kolah*, listen to her. Why? Because she's smarter than you. She's more righteous than you. Right? And women, Jewish women have been telling their Jewish husbands this ever since then. I didn't say they're right or wrong. I'm just telling you a fact. I told you I'm married 20 years now. I'm allowed to talk like this. So, אברם *Avram*... נעשה ונשמע *naaseh v'nishma*, exactly. נעשה ונשמע *Naaseh v'nishma*. שמע בקולה, נעשה ונשמע *Shma b'kolah, naaseh v'nishma*. So אברם *Avram* was טפל *tafel*, he was secondary to שרה *Sarah* says the כלי יקר *Kli Yakar*. וידעה שרה בנבואה שסופה לחזור לגילולי בית אביה *V'yad'a Sarah b'nevua she'sofa lachzor l'gilulei beis aviha*. שרה *Sarah* knew this הגר *Hagar*, she's not really in it all the way. She has this yearning to go back to her father. וגם ראתה בישמעאל בנה שהיה מצחק, שיש במשמעותו גם עבודה זרה, שנאמר ויקומו לצחק *V'gam ra'asa b'Yishmael bna she'haya metzachek, she'yesh b'mashma'uso gam avodah zara, shenemar vayakumu l'tzachek*. She saw ישמעאל *Yishmael* is not a great influence. על כן אמרה, גרש האמה הזאת ואת בנה *Al kein amra, gareish ha'amah hazos v'es bna*, כי מעשה שניהם שווים, שלא יירש בן האמה הזאת עם בני עם יצחק *ki ma'aseh shneihem shavim, shelo yirash ben ha'amah hazos im bni im Yitzchak*. שרה *Sarah* says, look, the kid's up to no good, and the mother, my co-wife, הגר *Hagar*, she's also, she's not all the way there. She's not all the way there. כי לא יירש ממעשה אברהם *Ki lo yirash mima'asei Avraham*. וירע הדבר בעיני אברהם, כי לא ידע ברוח הקודש אמונת עבודה זרה שבלבם *Vayera hadavar b'einei Avraham, ki lo yada b'ruach hakodesh emunas avodah zara sheb'libam*. אברם *Avram* says to שרה *Sarah*, I'm not getting that. I'm also a נביא *navi* and I'm not perceiving that about הגר *Hagar* and ישמעאל *Yishmael*. They don't seem so terrible to me. However, ולפיכך נאמר לו כל אשר תאמר אליך שרה שמע בקולה. מכאן למדנו שאברהם טפל לשרה בנבואה *V'lefichach ne'emar lo kol asher tomar eilecha Sarah shma b'kolah. Mikan lamadnu she'Avraham tafel l'Sarah b'nevua*. But God says to אברם *Avram*, I don't care what you're getting or not getting. You're not getting it because your connection is not as strong as שרה *Sarah*. שרה *Sarah's* got a more powerful connection. You're still dial-up. She's got high speed.מיד וישלחה בגירשין, ותלך ותתע כאשר אמר שרה. ואם כן, מאחר שגירשה מחמת שהיא רעה ובעלת עבודה זרה, כשחזרה ולכה *Miyad v'yishlacha b'geirushin, v'teilech v'tita ka'asher amar Sarah. V'im kein, me'achar shegeirsha machmas shehi ra'ah u'ba'alas avodah zara, k'shechazra v'lacha*. So if that's true, how does אברם *Avram* remarry her? asked the כלי יקר *Kli Yakar*. If השם *Hashem* says שרה *Sarah* is right, and שרה *Sarah's* intuition told her הגר *Hagar* still has some yearning, some appetite for עבודה זרה *avodah zara*, so how did אברם *Avram* take her back? How does אברם *Avram* remarry her?על כן בא לתרץ ולומר, שעשתה תשובה *Al kein ba l'taretz v'lomar, she'asta tshuva*. So really this is why she's called קטורה *Ketura* now to tell us שינוי השם *shinui hashem*. She has a new name. You know, some kids go to Israel for the year and all of a sudden they lose the English name their parents gave them. They insist on now being called by the Hebrew name. Because the גמרא *Gemara* in ראש השנה *Rosh Hashanah* says if you want to do תשובה *tshuva*, שינוי מקום, שינוי השם *shinui makom, shinui hashem*. You change your name. My name is קטורה *Ketura*. So people can say to הגר *Hagar*, hey aren't you the same woman with the עבודה זרה *avodah zara*? She said, I don't know what you're talking about, that was הגר *Hagar*. My name is קטורה *Ketura*. And it's not just a cute thing. It's it's a real, if you really want to be perceived differently, if you really want to be different, שינוי השם *shinui hashem*.Who else did תשובה *tshuva*? Not only הגר *Hagar*, who's קטורה *Ketura*, who else? Continues the כלי יקר *Kli Yakar*, כמו ישמעאל בנה, שאף הוא עשה גם כן תשובה. וכדי לפרסם זה קרא אברהם שמה קטורה *k'mo Yishmael bna, she'af hu asa gam kein tshuva. U'chdei l'farsem zeh, kara Avraham shma Ketura*. So אברם *Avram* now is devoted to, both אברם *Avram* and שרה *Sarah* were right. שרה *Sarah* was right that הגר *Hagar* still had a craving for עבודה זרה *avodah zara*. שרה *Sarah* was right to expel her. אברם *Avram* was also right to say she has virtue, she's a good woman, she came back. And אברם *Avram* now proves it to the world when he calls her קטורה *Ketura*. על שם הקטורת *Al shem haketores* and so on. Okay, that's the כלי יקר *Kli Yakar*. So who is this קטורה *Ketura*? There's a lot more to say on it, but I want to go ווייטער *vaiter*. Who is this קטורה *Ketura*? רש\"י *Rashi* and the כלי יקר *Kli Yakar* say it's הגר *Hagar*. And the אבן עזרא *Ibn Ezra* and the ספורנו *Sforno* and the רשב\"ם *Rashbam* rather say, I don't know what you're talking about. I don't know who she is. All I know is she's not הגר *Hagar*.Next פסוק *pasuk*, פסוק בית *pasuk beis*. ותלד לו את זמרן ואת יקשן ואת מדן ואת מדין ואת ישבק ואת שוח *Vateiled lo es Zimran v'es Yakshan v'es Medan v'es Midyan v'es Yishbak v'es Shuach*. If it's הגר *Hagar*, she's a very fertile woman at a very advanced age. אברם *Avram* too, very powerful, still having children. The ספורנו *Sforno* disagrees. Look at the ספורנו *Sforno* on פסוק בית *pasuk beis*. גידלם בביתו על דרך חמשת בני מיכל שידע לאדריאל, שגידלם שהם לא היו בניה כלל *Gidlam b'veiso al derech chameshes bnei Michal sheyada l'Adriel, she'gidlam shehem lo hayu baneha klal*. כי אמנם אברהם לא הוליד כי אם יצחק וישמעאל כמבואר בדברי הימים *Ki omnam Avraham lo holid ki im Yitzchak v'Yishmael kimevoar b'Divrei Hayamim*. These children were adopted. They were raised within the home, but they weren't born to them. אברם *Avram's* only biological children are יצחק *Yitzchak* and ישמעאל *Yishmael*. He raised these children as if they were their own, but says the ספורנו *Sforno*, they were not really, they were not really his own.פסוק גימל *Pasuk gimmel*. ויקשן ילד את שבא ואת דדן ובני דדן היו אשורים ולטושם ולאומים. ובני מדין עיפה ועפר וחנך ואבידע ואלדעה. כל אלה בני קטורה *V'Yakshan yalad es Sheva v'es Dedan, u'vnei Dedan hayu Ashurim u'Letushim v'Leumim. U'vnei Midyan Eifa v'Efer v'Chanoch v'Avida v'Elda'a. Kol eileh bnei Ketura*. These are all the children of קטורה *Ketura*. ויתן אברהם את כל אשר לו ליצחק *Vayiten Avraham es kol asher lo l'Yitzchak*. Yes. Excellent question. ותלד *Vateiled* suggests being the biological parent. So I would answer because we know the חז\"ל *Chazal* tell us, תורה *Torah* describes משה *Moshe* as being the father of אהרן *Aaron's* children. And the גמרא *Gemara* from there derives earlier in סנהדרין *Sanhedrin* that כל המלמד בן חבירו תורה כאילו ילדו *kol hamelamed ben chaveiro Torah ke'ilu yelado*. Whoever teaches someone else's children תורה *Torah*, it's as if they gave birth. So maybe the same, ותלד *vateiled*, to tell us that because אברם *Avram* raised them in the path of ethical monotheism, he taught them a way of life, it's as if he gave birth to them. Maybe that's why.Okay, look at פסוק ה *pasuk hei*. And remember what I told you earlier. ויתן אברהם את כל אשר לו ליצחק *Vayiten Avraham es kol asher lo l'Yitzchak*. אברם *Avram* gives יצחק *Yitzchak* something. What does אברם *Avram* give יצחק *Yitzchak*? So earlier in the פרשה *parsha*, והשם ברך את אברהם בכל *V'Hashem beirach es Avraham bakol*. God blessed אברם *Avram* with כל *kol*. Now אברם *Avram* does what? He takes כל אשר לו *kol asher lo* and gives it to יצחק *Yitzchak*. To יצחק *Yitzchak*. Very, very interesting. So what is this כל *kol*? God blessed אברם *Avram* בכל *bakol*, and אברם *Avram* now takes כל *kol* and gives it to יצחק *Yitzchak*.In אורות התשובה *Oros Hateshuva* Rav Kook explains, and this is from Rav Moshe Weinberger's sefer, his commentary on Rav Kook's Oros Hateshuva. In אורות התשובה *Oros Hateshuva* Rav Kook explains that in a healthy person, there's an inseparable relationship between the individual and the totally, the totality of existence and creation. The person who cares about other people and things around them will observe and sense the good in the universe. In contrast, a self-absorbed person who's obsessed with his or her own happiness and interest is misaligned with creation and everything around them. He or she simply cannot see the harmony, beauty, and unity of the universe. In Moreh Nevuchim the Rambam speaks of a person who mistakenly believes that there's more evil and suffering than goodness and joy in the world. He describes that this belief results from a person seeing himself as the center of the world, and he therefore measures the whole world by his own narrow limited experience. Such a person has separated himself from the cosmos. So Rav Kook explains that when Hashem blessed Avram `בכל` *bakol*, it means that Hashem empowered Avram with a panoramic view of all of reality, with a broad perspective of the universe. Rav Kook explains that being blessed `בכל` *bakol*, seeing synthesis in the world, is not only to believe statistically that there's more good than bad, but it means even seeing the painful as part of the meaning and order and purpose of the universe, even seeing the dark and hard moments and experience as part of the `כל` *kol*, as part of the big picture. אברם *Avram* lived with a wide angle lens. And despite whatever particular challenge he was enduring, he was able to see and appreciate how much good was around him and all the good that he had. That's the `והשם ברך את אברהם` *v'Hashem beirach es Avraham* `בכל` *bakol*. He lived with a sense of `כל` *kol*, of seeing the synthesis and integration of the entire world. He saw the big picture. You know sometimes we say to people, don't focus on this moment, zoom out the lens and see the big picture. Somebody sent me yesterday, I was listening, a study was done that said that more than 50% of people think that we are living in the worst time ever in America. Worst time ever. You know, here's the the incredible, the amazing thing about that study. Among the study were not just millennials. You can imagine a millennial or even younger saying, yeah, you know, the divisiveness in this country, the mass shootings that we've tragically been seeing in this country, the hopelessness we have for being better and people working together. But among those polled in this survey were people who lived through the Second World War, people who fought in wars, people who lived in horrible times. And they described this as the worst time ever. And the analysis that I saw of this survey was that we're living in a time where people are so narrowly focused that they've lost perspective. They don't see the big picture. If you look at the big picture and you contrast our lifestyle, progress, technology, safety, peace that we have today, whatever you think of our leadership in all forms and branches of leadership. So you can't, of course this is not the worst that it's ever been. It's not even close to it if you have any knowledge of American history. But אלא מאי *ela mai*, people live and they zoom in the lens and they see right what's in front of them and they project based on that. אברם *Avram* was the opposite. והשם ברך את אברהם בכל *V'Hashem beirach es Avraham bakol*. אברם *Avram* lived the big picture. He was able to see with a panoramic view of the world. Living with a sense of `כל` *kol*, seeing the whole picture provides you with faith and courage and tenacity to endure even that which is painful. Living with a sense of `כל` *kol* brings an attitude of calm and an optimistic spirit, and so on and so forth.So אברם *Avram* has `בכל` *bakol*. And he takes that `בכל` *bakol* and he gives it to whom? We just read the pasuk. ויתן אברהם *Vayiten Avraham*. אברם *Avram* takes his panoramic view of the world, the synthesis of creation, and he takes it and ויקח אברהם את כל *vayikach Avraham es kol*, ויתן אברהם את כל *vayiten Avraham es kol*, he gave that quality, that sense to יצחק *Yitzchak*. Who does יצחק *Yitzchak* give it to? יעקב *Yaakov*. We allude to this whenever we bench. If you eat bread and you bench, what do we say at the end of benching? בכל מכל כל *Bakol mikol kol*. And these are the three times כל *kol* is used with אברם *Avram*, יצחק *Yitzchak*, and יעקב *Yaakov*. Why do we say that? Because as we bench we realize, if I just enjoyed this good meal, והשם ברך את אברהם בכל *v'Hashem beirach es Avraham bakol*. ויתן את כל אשר לו *Vayiten es kol asher lo* to ליצחק *l'Yitzchak*. And יצחק *Yitzchak* gave יעקב *Yaakov*. יעקב *Yaakov* lived מכל *mikol*. When does יצחק *Yitzchak* say כל *kol*? When he meets up with עשיו *Esav*. And עשיו *Esav* says יש לי רב *yesh li rav*. Yeah, not bad, I make a living, I'm comfortable. And what does יעקב *Yaakov* say? יש לי כל *Yesh li kol*. I got it all. אברם *Avram*, יצחק *Yitzchak*, and יעקב *Yaakov* each talk about כל *kol*, and the כל *kol* is this attitude in life and we allude to it and we're supposed to feel it when we bench. ואכלת ושבעת *v'achalta v'savata*, when we're sated, when we're satisfied and we bench, we should feel that sense of I have.Now here's the kicker. Who tried to attack כל *kol*? Who? When ישמעאל *Yishmael* is born, what is it described? ישמעאל ידו בכל *Yishmael yado bakol*. ישמעאל *Yishmael's* hand will be upon that sense of כל *kol*. He wants to destroy goodness. He wants to undermine optimism and hope. He wants to take apart the synthesis of the universe. ידו בכל *Yado bakol*. ישמעאל *Yishmael* and his descendants, their war, their battle is to take away our כל *kol*. We are the children of אברם *Avram*, יצחק *Yitzchak*, and יעקב *Yaakov*. We have בכל מכל כל *bakol mikol kol*. We have this mentality, this attitude, this mission, and ישמעאל *Yishmael* are trying to fight us ידו בכל *yado bakol*, they're trying to undermine and take away that sense of of כל *kol*. Yes. By the way, at the end of benching what do we say? הרחמן יברך אותנו ואת כל אשר לנו *Harachaman yevarech osanu v'es kol asher lanu*. Hashem, bless that sense of כל *kol* which is within us כמו שנתברכו אבותינו אברהם יצחק ויעקב בכל מכל כל *k'mo shenisbarchu avoseinu Avraham Yitzchak v'Yaakov bakol mikol kol*. כן יברך אותנו כולנו יחד בברכה שלמה ונאמר אמן *Kein yevarech osanu kulanu yachad b'vracha shleima v'nomar amen*. Yes.What about Yishmael? Oh, ישמעאל *Yishmael* did do תשובה *tshuva*. On the other hand, he's a פרא אדם *pere adam* and his ידו בכל *yado bakol* and we see, ישמעאל *Yishmael* the individual did תשובה *tshuva*, but the nation that he gave birth to continued to inherit those qualities.Let's keep going. ולבני הפילגשים אשר לאברהם נתן אברהם מתנות וישלחם מעל יצחק בנו בעודנו חי קדמה אל ארץ קדם *V'livnei hapilagshim asher l'Avraham nasan Avraham matanos vayeshalchem me'al Yitzchak bno b'odenu chai kedma el eretz kedem*. אברם *Avram* sent gifts to these בני פילגשים *bnei pilagshim* and got them out of יצחק *Yitzchak's* hair.ואלה ימי שני חיי אברהם אשר חי, מאת שנה ושבעים שנה וחמש שנים *V'eileh yemei shnei chayei Avraham asher chai, me'as shana v'shivim shana v'chamesh shanim*. These are the years of אברם *Avram's* life. How long did he live? 175 years old. רש\"י *Rashi*, just like with שרה *Sarah*, tells us בן קוף כבן עין לכח, בן עין כבן ה לחטא *ben kuf k'ven ayin l'koach, ben ayin k'ven hei l'chet*. At 100 he was like 70 in terms of his strength. At 70 he was like five years old that he was innocent and he was pure of any of any sense of sin.ויגוע וימת אברהם בשיבה טובה זקן ושבע, ויאסף אל עמיו *Vayigva vayamos Avraham b'seiva tova zaken v'savea, vayei'asef el amav*. אברם *Avram* died at a good old age, mature, he was שבע *savea*, he was content, and ויאסף אל עמיו *vayei'asef el amav*, he was gathered to his people. What does it mean he died בשיבה טובה *b'seiva tova*? Says the רשב\"ם *Rashbam*, כמו שאמר לו הקדוש ברוך הוא, ואתה תבוא אל אבותיך בשלום תקבר בשיבה טובה, שלא ראה היינו ביומיו *k'mo she'amar lo haKadosh Baruch Hu, v'ata tavo el avosecha b'shalom tikaveir b'seiva tova, shelo ra'ah hainu b'yomov*. That אברם *Avram*, he left this world satisfied. He had led a good life, he had led a happy life, for the most part a happy life. He was שבע *savea*. You know, it's, he lived with בשיבה טובה *b'seiva tova*. We're never ready to say goodbye to somebody, ever. To lose a mother, to lose a father, we're never ever. But we also have to see death in context. Sometimes I interact with people, their parent who was in their 90s dies, and they act as if there was some terrible, where's השם *Hashem*, how could this tragedy happen? You know, it's a loss, one should cry, there's a sense of grieving, a sense of loss. It's painful to lose someone so precious at any age, at any age at all. But we also have to understand we're not going to live forever. And ever since man was expelled from the, from the גן עדן *Gan Eden*, death is something that we struggle with. We're all dying. The newborn is dying. The question is just is when? So we have to be able to see things in context, again, that כל *kol*. If one left a long, if one lived a long life and a good life, for the most part a happy life, they leave a legacy, they've contributed, they have שיבה טובה *seiva tova*, זקן ושבע *zaken v'savea*. This is what we aspire to. Of course, we sit שבעה *shiva*, there's אבילות *aveilus*, there's grieving, no matter what age a person leaves. But we can't describe a tragedy of, somebody who dies in advanced age as a tragedy of somebody who's who's a young person.ספורנו *Sforno* says, שבע, כל מה שאיזה ורצה לעשות בימיו *Savea, kol ma she'iza v'ratza la'asos b'yamov*. Everything אברם *Avram* wanted to see, he got to do in his life. He wanted his son, he had a son. He wanted him to be married, he was married. He transformed the world radically with ethical monotheism. That is, that is truly being שבע *savea*.ויאסף אל עמיו *Vaye'asef el amav*. Says the ספורנו *Sforno*, נאסף אל צרור החיים לחיי העולם *Ne'esaf el tzror hachaim l'chayei ha'olam*. He was gathered to the bounds of the living, עם צדיקי הדור שהם עמיו ודומים אליו *im tzaddikei hador shehem amav v'domim eilav*. ואמרו עמיו בלשון רבים, כי אמנם רב ההבדל בין הצדיקים במעלה, אם יוסף כולם זוכו לחיי עולם *V'omru amav b'lashon rabim, ki omnam rav ha'hevdel bein hatzaddikim b'ma'alah, im yosef kulam zochu l'chayei olam*. Meaning, what does it mean to be, we say this all the time, תהא נפשו צרורה בצרור החיים *tehei nafsho tzrura b'tzror hachaim*, that their soul be bound in the bond of life. It means that through how the living live, the soul of the departed is bound because we are embracing their legacy, living their way, walking in their footsteps, memorializing and keeping them alive. אברם *Avram* achieves that, ויאסף אל עמיו *vaye'asef el amav*. There's not a day that goes by, I would venture to guess there's not a minute that goes by that somewhere in the world someone is not using the words אברהם אבינו *Avraham Avinu*. You're davening, you say אברם *Avram*. You're learning, you say אברם *Avram*. So ויאסף אל עמיו *vaye'asef el amav* is we, עמיו *amav*, we are his people. ויאסף אל עמיו *Vaye'asef el amav*, he's נצרא בצרור החיים *nitzra b'tzror hachaim*. When we, the living, talk about him as אברהם אבינו *Avraham Avinu*, our father, he continues to be alive.So אברם *Avram* dies, who shows up at his funeral? ויקברו אותו יצחק וישמעאל בניו אל מערת המכפלה, אל שדה עפרון בן צחר החתי אשר על פני ממרא, השדה אשר קנה אברהם מאת בני חת, שמה קבר אברהם ושרה אשתו *Vayikberu oso Yitzchak v'Yishmael banav el me'aras hamachpela, el sdei Efron ben Tzochar haChiti asher al pnei Mamre. Hasadeh asher kana Avraham me'es bnei Ches, shama kuvar Avraham v'Sarah ishto*. ויהי אחרי מות אברהם ויברך אלוקים את יצחק בנו וישב יצחק עם באר לחי ראי *Vayehi acharei mos Avraham vayevarech Elokim es Yitzchak bno, vayeshev Yitzchak im Be'er Lachai Roi*. So I want to end with this. What's ישמעאל *Yishmael* doing? I alluded to this last week. We talked about last week when השם *Hashem* tells אברם *Avram*, take your son. He says, I have two sons. Your only son, they're each an only son to their mother. The one you love. I love them both. All right, take יצחק *Yitzchak*. So he said the one he loves, אברם *Avram* always loved יצחק *Yitzchak*, or kept loving ישמעאל *Yishmael*. And I said we would see this pay off. And here's the payoff. When אברם *Avram* dies, who shows up? יצחק *Yitzchak* and ישמעאל *Yishmael* hand in hand. Whose name should be first? ישמעאל *Yishmael*. Why? He's older. Says רש\"י *Rashi*, מכאן שעשה ישמעאל תשובה, והוליך את יצחק לפניו *mikan she'asa Yishmael tshuva, v'holich es Yitzchak lefanav*. Part of ישמעאל *Yishmael's* process of תשובה *tshuva* is to even give greater respect to יצחק *Yitzchak*, to realize יצחק *Yitzchak's* greater than he. והיא שיבה טובה שנאמר באברהם *V'hi seiva tova shenemar b'Avraham*. And the last pasuk that said that אברם *Avram* died בשיבה טובה *b'seiva tova*, you know what that שיבה טובה *seiva tova* was? נחמה מהקינדר *Nachas from the kinder*, that ישמעאל *Yishmael* had come back. And that ישמעאל *Yishmael* and יצחק *Yitzchak* are getting along, at least for right then. ישמעאל *Yishmael* and יצחק *Yitzchak* are getting along, and that gives אברם *Avram* the נחמה *nachas*.Now, what made ישמעאל *Yishmael* come back? What made ישמעאל *Yishmael* become about תשובה *tshuva*? He was thrown out of his father's house. He almost died in the desert of thirst. His mother couldn't bear to watch. And here, all we know is he's thrown out, fast forward, אברם *Avram* dies, ויקברו אותו יצחק וישמעאל *vayikberu oso Yitzchak v'Yishmael*. How are they together? So the פרקי דרבי אליעזר *Pirkei d'Rabbi Eliezer*, the מדרש *midrash*, פרקי דרבי אליעזר, פרק ל *Pirkei d'Rabbi Eliezer, perek lamed*, is an amazing מדרש *midrash*. I want to read it to you. The מדרש *midrash* says the following: that after ישמעאל *Yishmael* is thrown out of the house, שלח ישמעאל ולקח לו אישה מארץ מואב ושמה איסה *Shalach Yishmael v'lakach lo isha me'eretz Moav v'shma Issa*. ישמעאל *Yishmael* takes a wife and her name is Issa. ולאחר שלש שנים הלך אברהם לראות את ישמעאל בנו *V'le'achar shalosh shanim halach Avraham liros es Yishmael bno*. Three years after he's expelled from the house, אברם *Avram* tracks down ישמעאל *Yishmael* to go visit. I'll read it to you in the English, because we don't have a lot of time. אברם *Avram* goes to see ישמעאל *Yishmael*. And he swore to שרה *Sarah*, נשבע לשרה שלא ירד מהגמל במקום שישמעאל שורה שם *Nishba l'Sarah shelo yered mehagamal b'makom she'Yishmael shoreh sham*. You can only imagine for three years אברם *Avram* says, שרה *Sarah*, I listened to you like God said. I threw him out. But I got to go visit him. It's my son. He needs to know I love him. I need to spend time with him. שרה *Sarah* says, no, he's going to influence you, you're going to bring the influence back. אברם *Avram*, you're such a giving person, you're going to allow him to come back. Can't do it, no. They finally came up with a compromise. What was the compromise? Says the מדרש *midrash*, that אברם *Avram* will go to where ישמעאל *Yishmael* is, but he won't come off the camel. What do you think is the meaning? שלא ירד מהגמל במקום שישמעאל שורה שם *Shelo yered mehagamal b'makom she'Yishmael shoreh sham*. That he won't descend from the camel. What do you think that means? That yes, go visit ישמעאל *Yishmael*, but you have to remain on your level. You can't immerse yourself in ישמעאל *Yishmael's* way of living. You can't expose yourself to ישמעאל *Yishmael's* way of being. Yes, go visit him, but don't compromise on who you are and iota. והגיע שם בחצי היום ומצא שם את אשתו של ישמעאל *V'higia sham b'chatzi hayom u'matza sham es ishto shel Yishmael*. אברם *Avram* arrives on his camel in the middle of the day and he sees ישמעאל *Yishmael's* wife, Issa, and he says, Nu, where's ישמעאל *Yishmael*? She says he went with his mother to get fruits and dates from the wilderness. So he says to her, let me have some bread and a little water. It's been a long journey, I'm sitting on the camel. She says, I'm sorry, I have nothing for you. No bread, no water. What did אברם *Avram* understand? This is not a good situation. So what does he say to her? אמר לה, כשיבוא ישמעאל הגידי לו את הדברים האלה *Amar la, k'sheyavo Yishmael, hagidi lo es hadvarim ha'eileh*. When ישמעאל *Yishmael* comes home, give him the following message. ואמרי לו שבא זקן אחד מארץ כנען לראותך ואמר שסף הבית אינה טובה *V'omri lo sheba zaken echad me'eretz Canaan lir'oscha, v'amar shesaf habayis eina tova*. When ישמעאל *Yishmael* comes home, tell him that there was an old man from Canaan who came to visit and he left a message that you need to change the threshold of your house. The entrance of your house, the threshold, it's not good. You need to change it. When ישמעאל *Yishmael* got home, she told him the story, and says the מדרש *midrash*, הבן של חכם הוא חכם *ha'ben shel chacham hu chacham*. The son of a wise man is a wise man. ישמעאל *Yishmael* understood and he divorced her, sent her away. His mother took from a wife from her father's household, and her name was Fatima.Again, after three years, אברם *Avram* went to see ישמעאל *Yishmael*. And again he swore to שרה *Sarah* that he wouldn't get off the camel. He arrived midday, he found the wife of ישמעאל *Yishmael*, and this time she took out some food, some bread and water to give to him. אברם *Avram* got up and he davened to השם *Hashem*. Blessed be השם *Hashem* for his son, the house of ישמעאל *Yishmael* was filled with all good things, money and blessing. When ישמעאל *Yishmael* returned, she told him the story and ישמעאל *Yishmael* understood that until that moment, listen to the language. וידע ישמעאל שעד עכשיו רחמי אביו עליו, שנאמר כרחם אב על בנים *V'yada Yishmael she'ad achshav rachamei aviv alav, shenemar k'rachem av al banim*. He understood that his father continued to love him. He had come back again to see him. He had left him this message, he gave him this advice. He understood that despite the separation, how much his father had loved him. And you know, there's, there's really three ways for us to understand this. With the own, with the alienated people in our own lives, and the importance of making them continue to feel loved by us. We should understand this as a חיוב *chiyuv* of an outreach. The beautiful חיוב *chiyuv* of an outreach that even those who are behaving in such a way that's incongruous with the community that we're trying to create, but we have to go see them, even if we don't get off the גמל *gamal*. We don't have to compromise on who we are and our lifestyle, but we have to go see them and express that love. But the רד\"ל *Radal*, Rav David Luria, in his commentary on the מדרש *midrash*, says the following, with this I end. מה שמביא מדרש זה, שישמעאל, אף שלא היה הגון, ונצטווה לשלחו מעל פניו. המדרש מלמדנו שאברהם המשיך למצוא ישמעאל ולאהוב אותו, אף שישמעאל לא היה ראוי לכך. זה רמז, אומר הרד\"ל, למה דענו ודירכנו לפרש כרחם אב, הוא אף בזמן שאין ישראל עושים רצונו של מקום *Ma she'meivi midrash zeh, she'Yishmael, af shelo haya hagun, v'nitztava l'shalcho me'al panav. Ha'midrash melamdeinu she'Avraham himshich limtzo Yishmael v'le'ehov oso, af she'Yishmael lo haya ra'uy l'chach. Zeh remez, omer ha'Radal, lama da'anu v'dircheinu lefaresh k'rachem av, hu af b'zman she'ein Yisrael osim r'tzono shel Makom*. This is an allusion to הקדוש ברוך הוא *Hakadosh Baruch Hu's* attitude to us. That even when we feel distant or alienated, הקדוש ברוך הוא *Hakadosh Baruch Hu* always loves us unconditionally, no matter what. Even when we feel that we've been expelled, even when we feel we've been kicked out so to say, הקדוש ברוך הוא *Hakadosh Baruch Hu* continues to crave us and to love us as well.This Monday night we're starting the מדרש *midrash* class, starting a new four-part series for women. Four parts הלכות שבת *hilchos Shabbos*. Beginning Monday night 8:30 here. Reminder that the אמונה *emunah* שיעור *shiur* for women tomorrow morning at Cup of Joe. For men at 7:45 minyan, and אמונה *emunah* for women is at 8:40.
